Situation with the head teacher - what woudl you advise?

[lisalisa]

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And you pay good money for your dd to be "taught" by this foul woman...........?

I think that you should confront the Head but keep very calm and try and avoid getting upset or annoyed.It seems that your DD is the sort of child that gets overlooked in these schemes. Firstly I don't think that it should go on results, effort would be fairer. Secondly I bet it was really brought in to improve behaviour and DCs who don't normally behave well will be given a reward just for sitting quietly at the start of a lesson but as your DC most probably sits quietly anyway she is taken for granted and not given a reward! I should point this out. Usually at the end of year 6 there is a special treat for all the class.
I can see that birthday parties can be unfair if you only have 9 girls but I really don't think that the school can dictate who you invite.

Lisa come back and tell us how things went.

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Good luck. Punch a pillow now and honk your horn a lot on the way to the school to get it out of your system! The you will be serene and steely..

Being the devil's advocate here...

The school comes up with a scheme to raise achievement. 7 of the 9 meet the requirement and they get the reward that was promised up front. 2 did not meet the standard.

Are you sure that the school used an absolute scale when they awarded the money? Did your DD's achievement improve, or was in line with how she normally performs? How much money did she earn in the time?

There is always room for middle performers to improve both in academic achievement and behaviour (behaviour needn't be bad - but things like contribution to lessons, teamwork etc.).

As for parties, I'm pretty sure it will be to regarding invitations that are distributed at school - all or none. This was the rule we had when we were in the USA.

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I was one of those girls at school that neither shone academically or socially nor caused enough trouble to get noticed that way.

I think there is a huge opportunity for schools to help pupils like this leave school with a sense of worth and value. I don't feel that schemes like this do that. I am not sure that the boys should be excluded.. This problem would not arise if it was a mixed sex treat.. if there were a limited number of places for lunch treat and the top 10 children get to go fair enough but if the top 10 girls get to go when there are only 12 girls in the class that is not on..

I am sorry for your daughter.. I don't feel this has been set up right at all..

At least you now have 3 weeks in which to formulate your argument clearly, and the immediate heat you feel about the situation will have passed.

I am surprised that you are choosing to pay for this lisalisa! There must be some behaviour problems if none of the boys are going.

lisalisa, what a dreadful shame for your DD. I too have issues with similar things at my DDs independent school which is very academic and competitive, with a definite 'alpha' stream of children (and parents) who get in the top teams but ALSO get all the lead parts in plays, win all the cups etc.

Not sour grapes, I'm sure some of these children excel in sport, drama and class but it wouldn't hurt the school to spread some glory around.

BBe and cargirl make some very valid suggestions, like you I just want to let rip!

My DD recently got a demerit for working slowly, untidily and not bringing the correct equipment to a lesson (she's in yr 3) SHE HAS DYSPRAXIA FFS! But the head did them ask her to help clean up the art room (which in itself sounds like a punishment to me) and gave her a merit to make up for it, but she was heartbroken as she has to work hard to be average within her class and rarely is rewarded for effort.

Good luck take some deep breaths and I hope you can get a suitable solution - like could they set up a situation where she is awarded enough points.

I like the idea of honking your horn to dissipate some anger!

I think the "earning £100" is a crap scheme to begin with BUT, having said that, rules are rules. Your child didn't get the £100 so shouldn't go to the meal, even if she is the only one. Otherwise, what is the point of the scheme if everyone gets to go anyway?

Lisa sorry you cannot sort this for three weeks. I hope your dd doesn't dwell on it and that you can approach this with steely focus when she comes back.

I think the main issue is that the reward scheme should have been to reward effort rather than attainment but as it is also awarded for good behaviour then why hasn't your DD done well enough to go? ... I think you should request reasons for why they didn't reward your DD's behaviour to this extent

but really I agree with the poster who says a reward scheme is nothing if you get to go anyway for not putting in the effort so I think you'll have a difficult fight

What a naff idea this lunch reward is.

I'd be concerned an independent school has to use it frankly to motivate its students, unless I'm getting the wrong end of the stick here?

Maybe this 'initiative' would only work with girls? My brother would have done anything to avoid lunch with his headmaster lol.

I hope this is an otherwise good independent and is worth the money.

1 Annoying thing I can think of is that it's all well and good having a reward scheme but it doesn't seem to be controlled. No-one is taking note of who is being awarded how much money. Two girls have been allowed to go on photocopied money but no-one seems to have challenged them about this. That would definately be worth mentioning and asking how they control the scheme.

Take your DD and the other girl out for something nice and don't invite the others - stuff the heads invite policy.

I'm assuming that the Head does not know about photocopied money, or believe the tales.

Perhaps there will be some other initiative targeted at those children who were not motivated by this one. The school year is not over yet.

As for why do independent schools need to motivate their pupils, and why are boys not included...without knowing any more than is posted here (so I may be completely wrong), girls pretty much finish their senior school entrance exams in January of Y6 whereas boys have to soldier on to June of Y8. If this is the case at the OP's school, then it is really appropriate to have something for the girls to motivate them. They do still have to do the same work as the boys, but a lot of them think they can just switch off when they get their senior school offers.

I really dislike this kind of motivation. If the head can't think of any other way to motivate her girls (and de-motivate the others for good measure) then she shouldn't be a head.

Tradition!

To a restaurant???????

I would find out which restaurant and when and you take dd and this other girl and sit at the next table and ignore the headmaster.

That is awful and I can't believe how shortsighted the head is.

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