Have I made a choice for the wrong reasons?

[Joy19H]

Hi All,

I've been up all night worrying and needed a place to just let it all out.

We are very fortunate that we live in an area where there are several 'Good' primary schools.

I work full time so breakfast club availability was high priority to me as well as the school being in catchment for our childminder for after school care.

Catchment School - reasonably small, great outdoor space with a lot of outdoor learning. Wraparound spaces very limited but only 2 minute walk from home (literally)

Selected School - largest school in the area, they never turn a child away in regards to wraparound care. Childminder catchment. Parking restrictions around area. Just got Requires Improvement mainly due to Foundation phonics (Head left now)

I went with my gut instinct and felt drawn to the selected school but having attended a couple of sessions there now, I'm not so sure. Parking was awful and there's a few rules that I'm not keen on.

I've also since found out that colleagues who WFH pick up their children and let them play whilst they work. I could have done that with the catchment school.

I don't feel like I have much choice now as catchment school is at capacity but just wanted to see if anyone has been through similar.

Thank you x

It’s not actually too late. If you apply for the catchment school now you will probably be at / very near the top of the waiting list (waiting lists are held in order of priority rather than first come first served) so if anyone drops out you may still get a place

i would be careful about WFH while child plays for 2 hours every evening though. You’re either going to let your work drop or your kid is going to end up with an awful lot of screentime

I wouldn’t rely on letting child play while you work. I expect a lot of employers are going to be cracking down on it.

Could you let your children play while you work, is it that kind of job?
However, if you have bad instincts about the school, then it's probably best to change.

could you change schools and team up with a few mins on rotating childcare after school and condense your a few day? 4/5 is a bit young to play whilst you wfh and your house would probably end up like a bomb site in 2 hours them playing alone, unless they’re happy with crafts/ Lego in a playroom?

Parents usually have to consider childcare in the equation when choosing a school so you've only done what most people would do.

Do you work for a totally remote company with no office? If not how confident are you the WFH will continue and you won't get a new manager or director that has a push back into the office 3 days a week?

I wonder what these people will do when and if WFH becomes a less attractive option and there’s a crackdown on it with young children in the house.

Parking is an issue in all primary schools, because people either don’t want to walk there, don’t want to park further away, or have to drop children off en route to work.

If the other school is at capacity, you’ll have to stick with your decision and perhaps go on the waiting list.

Infant class size will apply for Reception.

A lot of contracts state that you shouldn't be looking after children while working. I don't think it's particularly fair to your work or your child, and it's also likely to be stressful for you. I just don't think this works with younger children.

Thanks everyone for your replies.

Those of you who have mentioned WFH are absolutely right - this really wouldn't work for my son and I. I just wish it was fair across the board at work (I would have been OK had I not heard about loads doing this).

I have a meeting with the class teacher soon so I'll discuss my concerns and hopefully feel much better (or know that I need to make a change!)

Appreciate all of your comments x

Good luck OP, I remember how stressful this can be. But I guess that no schools are perfect, and you can always try to swap later if you need to.

they never turn a child away in regards to wraparound care. Childminder catchment.

Given your work, this has to be a high priority.

You can always put your child on the waiting list for the other school and see how you feel about things once a space comes up. There is usually a bit of movement early on so it’s not unrealistic to think your child will be offered a space.

Is there any flexibility with your working hours? I take my lunch as late as 3.15 and then have an hour to do pick up and settle kids with activity until I finish off my work day. Or sometimes I login and do 45mins or so first thing before the kids are up and then I use that time in the afternoon etc. A colleague used to take a shorter lunch and then finish early to collect her kids from afterschool club and would then login in the evening to make up her time - which doesn’t work for everyone but it got her through the primary years.

If they’ve just got requires improvement and a new head teacher I suspect there will be significant and rapid change to phonics teaching.

I've also since found out that colleagues who WFH pick up their children and let them play whilst they work. I could have done that with the catchment school.

Are you sure you can do that?

I get it, as a family trying to make ends meet.
As a manager, it's dreadful practice. I have some colleagues/direct reports who are difficult to get hold of, or turn down meetings, or are massively distracted after 3pm. My employer allowed this during the pandemic, but is now expecting everyone to have appropriate childcare from the start of next term.

Also, Reception age children may be a bit young to leave unattended for a couple of hours.

You can always see how it goes and put your child on the waiting list for the other school in case you aren't happy. I had to do what you did and gp for the further away school with breakfast club. Bigger schools also often have better facilities, as there is more income.

A school with Requires Improvement will have a lot of support to help them improve. It sounds like the change in leadership is needed and, tbh, phonics is an easy win. The new Head will pick a new phonics scheme, the staff will all have training on it (so all staff will be fully up to date on the latest phonics training, as opposed to many last having it years ago as they may have done in a 'good' school. There will be regular monitoring. So on that score, I wouldn't worry too much.

The wrap around care is why you chose it. Focus on that. Your child will be stimulated and entertained after school, while you focus on work. They'll be doing crafts, sports, have other children to play with etc. If you pick them up, they'll have a couple of hours of entertaining themself each night which, with the best will in the world, often turns into lots of screen time in the cold winter months. You'll be distracted, meaning work don't get the best of you for those last 2 hours every day.

How big an issue will parking really be when she starts? If they're in breakfast and after school club you'll be dropping off earlier than the school run parents, therefore you should in theory not have as many issues as if you were dropping and picking up at 8:30/3:30.

You made the choice for a reason. Transition has started now. I'd stick to your guns and put the other school to the back of your mind, focusing on helping your child settle into this one.