Any German Mumsnetters about?

[Edelweissabc]

I have a DC who is very young in their year and bilingual. They are keeping up with the class, but only just and it feels like the wheels are about to come off as they get more worried about school. It feels like there was school pressure to start in the first year rather than preparation class. Apparently the school has classes with high average ages and is trying to bring this down - don't know if true, told by a friend who is a former teacher.

Marks okay, but coming with a lot of stress and this is only the second year. Slowly slipping downwards. They are bright, fluent in other languages (written as well as spoken). DC is getting anxious around school and we have had absences because of this (really trying hard not to and have had several Dr appointments checking no physical issues).

No social issues to date, but overall the class is much older and friendship groups getting harder to navigate.

Please may I ask if you know if there is any criteria for moving down a year or the school demanding they stay put?

Are you in Germany or in the UK? If you are in Germany, you can generally ask for your child to be held back a year. Contact the school and arrange a meeting.
In England, it's not common to educate a child outside of their year group unless there are specific SEN issues.

Hessen only have concerns if they are getting a 5/6 in the core subjects not 2/3 but if you speak directly to the Soziale Paedogogin/Klassenlehrerin you could ask for a voluntary Sitzenbleiben. Have you done that yet?
I lived in Germany for 12 years with two kids in Grundschule, one of whom then went to Gymnasium. If the school don't agree with your concerns (and it sounds like they don't) you're on a stickier wicket as they'll think you're trying to play the long game age-wise. Can your German rellies/husband - who allowed this to happen (young child with older peers) not advocate for you?

Oh and my younger children came back to the UK and were forced into their age-related group even though both were two years behind. The LA were absolutely adamant in the UK they had to be in the group of their correct age and nothing I said would convince them otherwise (just in case you were ever considering coming back). Fortunately for me Covid hit, so mine levelled up as others went down, so it evened the playing field.
I feel for you OP but you will need to "German it", get medical evidence of anxiety etc to force it through that they stay in year 2 otherwise they'll think you just want your child to be a year older to get 1s. It sucks.

maybe try in Living Overseas section?

Germany @Busyhedgehog No SEN, but German as a second language when starting school and a birthday weeks before the cut off so they are the youngest in the class. A lot of much older children in the class, some with SEN and some who may have been held back to avoid Covid disruption or to dame the system. Main issues are that German is still an issue, so they are not catching all of the lessons and struggling socially with a few of the older kids (otherwise sociable and have plenty of friends).

Thanks so much @FailBetter German husband finally onside with this. Thanks again so much for giving me the terminology. He looked it up and finally realised how serious the situation is for DC, in terms of the risk to mental health and his learning attitude becoming much less positive.

Hopefully the school will realise we are not trying to game the system, as we had a Drs appointment a few months ago for anxiety related issues (being Germany they took blood work, etc.) and have also had school absences, which is really unacceptable.

DC frequently comes home complaining that they don't understand how to do assignments, because they cannot understand everything the teacher says (I suspect not catching the nuances and fine details). This caused them a lot of stress as summer tests approached. Their behaviour in class has also deteriorated and they admitted clowning about as they don't understand and get teased.

There have also been serious issues with a few of the much older kids in the class who have been violent and made threats. This has had a huge impact. DC is sociable with a big group of friends, so the impact was not as clear as it should have been.

I have actually requested for DC to change school and go down a year. Submitting a letter and will ask for a meeting with the head and Soziale Paedogogin, as well as the class teacher.

Thanks again and so sorry the UK LA were not accommodating.

Apologies not to reply before, was wiped out with it this weekend as DC had a major meltdown over the situation and I was expecting my husband to dig his heals in.

https://www.elternwissen.com/erziehung-entwicklung/schule-und-eltern/schulprobleme/rueckstufung-alles-wichtige-ueber-den-ablauf-und-die-rechtslage/

Try this to start with. In Hessen, you can ask for your child to repeat a grade voluntarily. Make an appointment with the headteacher and try to be clear as to why you want them to move down a grade. (You'd have to be quick to get this sorted before the summer holidays.)
There is a law as well but I can only find the old version. I'll have another snoop to see whether I can find the current one.

As a G1 teacher, I was always happy when parents agreed to have their kids repeat. We never suggest these things lightly. It's quite uncommon for parents to ask, though. Most are keen to avoid having their kids move down and are adamant that they need to go on to Gymnasium.
DS is also bilingual, currently in G1 but moving into G2. German is one of his more tricky subjects. He just doesn't particularly like it. However, since they've moved him into DaF, he's more positive about it. It also means he gets grade protection while in the DaF programme. Luckily, he's at a bilingual school so Maths and English are taught in...well, English. I'm trying to get him into German-speaking holiday clubs to help boost his confidence and exposure a little.

Here you go:
"§ 75 HSchG – Versetzung, Wiederholung und freiwilliger Rücktritt...
(5) In einer allgemein bildenden Schule können Schülerinnen und Schüler freiwillig aus der derzeit besuchten Jahrgangsstufe in die im vorangegangenen Schuljahr besuchte Jahrgangsstufe zurücktreten, wenn zu erwarten ist, dass sie dadurch in ihrer Lernentwicklung besser gefördert werden können. Die Entscheidung trifft auf Antrag der Eltern die Klassenkonferenz."

https://www.lexsoft.de/cgi-bin/lexsoft/justizportal_nrw.cgi?xid=169561,78

Thank you so much @Busyhedgehog

I just do not understand why his G1 teacher did not want him to move down to the preparation class. They said his German was not where it should be and he was not developing German at the expected pace. Other subjects fine. But German is going to start to hold him back as the pace picks up more and is already causing so much anxiety.

At least English is going to be so useful for them in the future. I have some German friends who studied large amounts of their courses in English. Even if they study in German, being fluent in English opens up so much more material and makes so many connections with others possible.

Please can I ask a question re the parents not wanting children to repeat and wanting to go onto Gymnasium. If he repeats a year in Grundschule, is it correct that it is not a barrier to Gymnasium entry? Though at this point I think the only responsible thing to do is repeat as he is so distressed and it is effecting his behaviour, social life and ability to learn.

He does a lot of after school sports and being bilingual has not been too much of an issue for these activities. The DLRG is particularly great.

Thank you again for the advice and so kindly finding the link.

Repeating the grade has nothing to do with Gymnasium entry. A friend of mine moved to Germany at the start of G1 without any German. She repeated G1 to consolidate the language and then continued through school normally. She did her Abitur and went on to study at university.
In Hessen, it's parental choice anyway. So if you decide you want your child to go to a Gymnasium after Grade 4, then you just apply for a Gymnasium place. The primary school might advise but they have no actual say in this.
For a lot of parents, it's a question of how their children's school performance looks to others. It's embarrassing for them if children have to repeat. (I work at a private school, though. We've got quite a few pushy parents, some in very high-flying jobs. They don't want to have their kids repeat. It's more likely they have them assessed for early school entry.)

Does your DS's school not have a DaF programme/teacher to offer additional support?

Thanks so much @Busyhedgehog

That's great, I don't want to inadvertently scupper future gymnasium plans. I think they do want to go (husband and I both went to Uni) and they are bright and very interested in many things, but need to get a more solid grounding in German and mature a bit. If they stay in the class there is a risk of a slide back as they are starting to dislike school.

I don't feel bad about them going down a year, more like it is where they should be with German as a second language before school (we originally were not going to stay in Germany) and being only weeks inside the age cut-off for the year. If they move down in the current school they will be around the mid-range in the class. I have spoken to them and they are happy to move class as they have friends in the other year and school.

Some of the classes can be quite rough, including the one he is in, so being very young (even when sociable) is a further issue.