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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Need advice regarding school

10 replies

Sootyb · 24/06/2024 13:52

Hi everyone my dd just started school this year she has situational mutism and suffers high anxiety, every morning before school my dd is crying and won't eat breakfast, I take her to school earlier play her favourite song Brave, we take her school bag in then she needs to go to the toilet and we are in there most times 30min while she is crying, I try little exercises with her and make her copy my funny faces these all help a little, when I get her comfortable we head to class, but as soon as we go in she needs the toilet again, so we go, then today we finally head back to class and the teacher has moved her seat which got her extremely anxious and crying and I just mentioned to the teacher in a quite tone this dosnt help with my dd who has very high anxiety, as we discussed this before if she could give a days notice if she was going to make then moves seats again, the teacher went off and yelled and just said this is the school rules and we are not making exemptions, even tho time and time again the teachers have asked what can we do to help make this easier for your dd, I definitely a very quite person myself so try to avoid confrontation, I just left that day with my dd and said to the teacher thanks for your help really appreciate it, I have emailed the principal and organised a meeting with the teacher, principal, my dd therapist, Occupational therapist, and speech therapist, to help the teachers understand the needs of a child with situational selective mutism, one of the therapists suggested I move schools, I don't know if to stay, move schools or home school?

OP posts:
Golddust90 · 24/06/2024 13:55

They dont sound very supportive at all. This incident happened infront of you imagine all the little things that happene throughout the day that can upset her. I would move her to a more welcoming environment (mum to two with autism so can relate)

BadlydoneHelen · 24/06/2024 17:37

Have you had any contact with the SENCO?

LIZS · 24/06/2024 17:42

Is this a state school, in UK? If so sendco is the place to start but bear in mind as your dd changes teacher each year they will need to have her needs and coping strategies explained again. Do not assume that transitions will happen automatically or that they remember her. Can you apply for an ehcp to get specific funding allocated, has an EP assessed her?

Sootyb · 25/06/2024 02:05

Thank you, this was my worry also, if the teacher can say this and act this way in front of me and my dd, I have now been wondering what is happening throughout the day!

OP posts:
Sootyb · 25/06/2024 02:11

Sorry I should of added we are from Australia, I haven't heard of senco, I will look into if there is something similar here in Australia that may help.
I have the meeting today with the teacher, principal, and with my dd health team, I just hope they come to a small understanding, its just getting extremely difficult, she has just turned 6 and been at the school since the start of the year, I thought it might of gotten easier with time but hasn't been the case, my dd used her toilet sign to go to the toilet she told me when she got home, Mum I went to the toilet and cried and cried she then mentioned she felt so small, I not sure what she ment by that, but its not easy to hear.

OP posts:
Needanewname42 · 25/06/2024 03:09

In the UK we are coming close to summer and changes of teachers after summer August/September.

If you are the same I'd hold of until the holidays see how she gets on with a different teacher in August/September

Is it a two stream school could they move her to a different class?

ProfessorPeppy · 25/06/2024 03:28

Your DD needs an assessment of her needs. If I were her class teacher/SENDCo, I would be recommending a GP appointment. I’m not sure how it works in Australia.

100% of the children I know with situational mutism/anxiety are autistic, and many never really get the support they need in school. It would be far better for her to get the support she needs now, rather than waiting until she burns out later.

5475878237NC · 25/06/2024 05:53

A SENCO is someone responsible for co-ordinating the provision for children with special education needs and disabilities including selective/situational mutism.

I would see what comes of this meeting but if there is another school to try I'd also be making plans to move. If you have any interest in home education then that might be something to consider too.

redrobin75 · 25/06/2024 12:39

@Sootyb , what are your plans for the summer break? Are you going to be at home with her or travel or have visitors etc. You may need advice on how to manage her expectations/anxiety over the break re where she will be going in September etc. Was her mutism present before you came to the U.K.?

FuzzyStripes · 25/06/2024 12:53

I completely agree with @ProfessorPeppy about the almost certainty that your daughter is autistic and she sounds very much like one of my autistic children.

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