Mixing classes before y1 should I speak to teacher

[Aussiewife]

Hi, looking for some advice. My eldest is in reception. A 3 form intake school, classes will be mixed from what they are now for year 1. My DS is quite quiet and shy. For most of the year they have generally stuck with a friend from nursery as their "best friend". In the last few weeks they have started talking more and more about a new friend they play with everyday and saying they don't play with the nursery friend any more. Would it be unreasonable for me to mention this new friendship to the teacher in preparation for the class being split? I understand they mostly play outside at lunch when the teacher wouldn't see. I would like to make sure school is aware of this friendship and considers it when deciding on next years classes rather than just assuming they would like to be with the old nursery friend. Would the teacher find it strange for me to mention this to her?

I think they will either ask children to write down three names they'd like to be with - will get one of them. Or they will just do them randomly. Probably wouldn't do random bespoke requests. Id just ask what the process is and say if there's a chance to make a preference your child would like to

IME they are doing this for a reason, and they can't have every parent making requests

By all means you can mention it, but it is their prerogative whether they take it on board.

Teachers cannot please all parents. They will split classes based on various factors:- friendships (good and bad, some children will be kept apart for their own good, despite being 'friends'), abilities, gender, EAL, pupil premium etc. The 3 classes will need to be as equal as possible in each of these categories. Friendships are definitely considered but can't necessarily be the be all and end all over other factors.

At the end of the day, the children will still see each other on the playground and they will make new friends within their own class. As long as they move up with some friends, it may not be the current 'best' friend and that's ok. At the end of the day, the teachers actually know who plays with who in school better than the parents. You only know what they tell you. They're seeing it every day.

Look on this new friendship as a positive that your previously shy boy is branching out and capable of making new friends. He will manage to do that again, if moved away from this new friend. To be honest, you're only taking his word for it that he is now very close to this new friend and doesn't play with the old one at all. If it's a strong friendship, school will definitely be aware. They may have only played together a few times though. Young children's definitions of 'best friend' can be very different to our's. If it's a very new friendship, at that age it can sometimes be a case of out of sight out of mind. He might not necessarily be bothered if he's not with the new friend. If he no longer sees them in class, he'll move on to someone else. Young kids can be fickle like that. The old friend may become flavour of the month again if they're still together, or he may move on to someone else entirely.

As I said, by all means you can mention it Be mindful though that school will probably be having similar requests from 20+ others parents in the year group. They can listen and consider requests, but can't accommodate all requests. The decisions they do make will ultimately be made in the children's best interests, based on their knowledge of them.

To be honest, their new class lists have probably already been decided on anyway, weeks ago.

Just to give you some reassurance @Aussiewife as we were in a similar boat.

DC took a while to settle in Reception and make friends. School mixes the classes every year and there are no requests. They make the decision based on all of the criteria the PP mentioned to balance the classes.

It's honestly been the best thing. As a year group the children all have wide circles of friends. They mix between classes in the playground and whilst they do develop closer friendships the annual move breaks up some of the cliques and the more troublesome pairs/groups.

By all means ask school what their policy is but don't worry too much about it. In my experience mixing the classes has only been positive.

"I understand that it might not be possible, but I think it would be really good for her confidence socially if she could stay in the same class as X"

Acknowledge it's not priority 1, but still ask.

Absolutely ask. We asked when we knew DD's reception year (2 form intake) were to be mixed. In our situation, we asked for DD to be separated from one girl who was physically hurting DD and they agreed to our request. There's a possibility that the classes will be mixed again going into Y2 and I have asked her Y1 teacher that we would like DD to be kept apart from this same child again as this year she has flourished. If you don't ask, you don't get or might not be on their radar.

Thank you everyone. I spoke to the teacher today. She had noticed the new friendship and was going to make sure they are together next year as she thinks they are good for eachother!