Please recommend the most supportive prep in London (SW, West or Central)

[WalkingDead99]

My summer born DS is finishing reception in the bottom of his class. No diagnosis or obvious learning difficulties. He is bright but not mature enough emotionally. I know I should have kept him to start Reception after he turned 5 but it is too late now. He is behind in reading and writing. The current school's report says that he is at expected level in math but when I took him for assessment to another school I was told he is behind even in math. Looks like the current school's curriculum is behind other preps' curriculum. He loves math so I was really shocked.
His current school teachers said they tried interventions but could not bring him up to expected level and they do not have time to provide help.
I know my DS is capable to catch up. When I teach him he makes noticeable progress. I am not a professional teacher but I wonder if I am better than the school teachers. The issue is I cannot drop my job and homeschool him.
I would like to move him to a prep that would provide extra support to help him to catch up and stay on track.
I would appreciate if someone could recommend such prep in London (SW, West or Central) that will not require to pay double school fees for extra support.

It depends on what you want for him but I don’t think it is too late, I think you can have him repeat reception if there is a place available either at his current school or at a new one (if you're unhappy at his current one). I’ve known prep schools to allow this, even in older years, but it’s easier when they are younger. It might be better for him to repeat than having to learn new things on top of what he struggled with this year. It also might be better for him socially if he's a bit emotionally immature for his current year group.

You could switch schools and have him repeat, so it would be different as well and a fresh start. It would be more difficult to repeat within the school I think, as he would see his friends move up.

I have a family member at EHTM and from what I’m told they’ve been excellent. Repeated year2, IEP, regular feedback.

I read not all good senior schools accept pupils who delayed start of Reception. For pupil who had to repeat a year it is even worth. DS is not stupid. I think he will catch up by age of 7. I do not want to damage his future opportunities by making him to repeat the year.
I have read many goods schools provide extra support to pupils falling behind. For example, Dulwich College states this on their website. Unfortunately, we did not apply for Reception in Dulwich College. To be honest I assumed a small school would provide more 1:1 support, but it turns out they do not care.

I assumed EHTM is academic school and would not accept in Year 1 a pupil who did not meet expected levels.

IF you do not want to repeat, continue to support at home and hopefully you find a good supportive school. Like you say, they tend to catch up later. Some can be late bloomers or just not ready. Some dc start reading early, but then slowdown in progress...

Can you get him a tutor? Much less disruptive than moving school. It sounds like he responds well to one-to-one teaching.

Definitely repeat at a different school.
I’d start looking locally to see who has places and go from there.

Yes, I can and have already arranged one. I am really put off the current school by teachers' and even head's unwillingness to offer any support or advice. They could have suggested to get a tutor at least, but they did not. They really do not care.

I wouldn’t assume he’s not at the expected level on maths just because he didn’t do well at the assessment for another school. He’s really young so is it possible that he had an off day? And lots of summer babies are behind at the end of reception and catch up later. What I wouldn’t like is that the school don’t seem to care and aren’t willing to help him catch up, that’s really poor and as DS is still at an age where a move would be easy I’d definitely vote with my feet. Repeating reception would also be something I strongly consider since you mention emotional immaturity. I don’t think you want to broaden your search as wide as the entirety of W, SW and Central London. He’s tiny, he’s struggling, you don’t want to add on a massively long journey to school. I’d call all your local preps, explain your situation and see what they say. I’d also ask if they have a class TA as well as the teacher as that provides more support to those that need it. Good luck!

@WalkingDead99 i only mentioned the repeated year as an example of their willingness to help.
EHTM has students from international families and lots of movement.
Call if your in the area you have nothing to loose.
Good senior schools accept international students, not many international countries start school at 4.

What school is he currently at? It seems that you’ve jumped very quickly that there is something wrong with the school….it is usual in every year even in private school that some children haven’t met the expected standard. Your school said that he had done but you’ve now said he’s behind in English and maths? How do you know he is bottom of the class? does the school have a good reputation? I wonder if not moving is also a possibility and supporting him more at home?

I find your post quite confusing to be honest.

Firstly, who has said he is bottom of the class? That is not information that any teacher with tact would ever give out to parents. Of course they should share if he's behind, but did they really say he's bottom of the class or is this just something you have assumed based on the report that he's behind in some areas?

If they say he is expected in maths, trust them. They know him. This other school doesn't. It's only natural he may have underperformed with people he's only just met. Him being considered expected at his current school but behind in another school that have assessed him on some sort of entry test does not mean the other school are 'ahead' in their maths curriculum. When children join a new class, many of them will underperform a bit until they find their feet. That is natural.

If the school have been running interventions with him they definitely do care. Things will click when he's ready in reading and writing. It's very normal for some children to not meet the expected level by the end of Reception, especially summer borns, if they are simply not ready yet. You acknowledge yourself that he's immature and will likely catch up by 7. I'm sure that will be the case.

The fact his current school's interventions haven't worked yet doesn't necessarily mean they're not good teachers. These things take time and patience. They're not going to work overnight. Your comment that you, despite not being a qualified teacher, are probably a better teacher than them is extremely disrespectful. I'd like to stand you in front of a class and see how well you do. Teaching in a school is incredibly different to working 1-1 at home with your child.

At the end of the day, if you strongly feel you wish to move your child to this other school it is your prerogative to do so, but I do think you're being incredibly harsh and rude about his current school when there is no real evidence from what you've said that they're doing a poor job. I understand you're disappointed your son is struggling in some areas but they are putting things in place to help. Miracles don't happen over night.

Many people make the same mistake as you in believing a smaller school means extra support. Smaller school have less staff and resources. Levels of support are roughly equal in all schools, regardless of size. It sounds to me like you're expecting too much and are looking for someone to blame for your son being behind, rather than accepting there are factors behind it. Not all children will be working at the expected level. There's no shame in having a child who isn't. From what you've said, his current school are working to help him with the areas he struggles in. What more do you want? They can't simply make him expected just because you want him to be.

@BoleynMemories13 : the current school has never said that they are putting things in place, or have some sort of plan how they will help DS to catch up in Y1. I would be happy if they had mentioned anything like that. All teachers did was scaremongering. Just kept telling us how behind DS is and how much more difficult Year1 will be. Never said "do not worry things will click when he is ready", or "please do this and that with DS over summer holidays so he could catch up a bit". In the end the head said 'It is not his age. We have younger children who are ahead of him". Teachers said that they tried interventions but nothing worked. I noticed when I spend time with DS to he makes progress. The issue is I cannot find time every day and do not have time to home school him. If it is my job to teach DS then there is no point sending him to school, especially fee charging school. As I said I am aware that summer born are often behind and they catch up by age of 7, I have read research articles on government website. It is the teachers who were implying that he will never catch up because Year 1 is more difficult. Meetings with teachers felt like con artists shows. Teachers had not a single constructive suggestion. When I asked how can they help, they said they did not have time. It is fine with me. As I discovered there are schools that help pupils who fall behind, so I just need to find such school. The issue with summer born is they may not catch up till Year 3. It means DS will have to be tutored next two years. I do no mind but if I pay a tutor there is no point paying for the school.

Yes, I was thinking of finding a nanny who would be a qualified teacher. I would spend similar amount of money as I spend on the prep but at least DS will do more learning during most productive hours. I work full time and can support DS at home after 6pm when he is tired.

Whereabouts do you live? You really don’t want a long commute to school at this age, so unless you are willing to move, look for somewhere near your home.

Smaller class sizes would generally be a benefit to a child who needs more input. Also I would say the smaller schools do tend to market themselves as more nurturing - of course you have to dig to find out if it’s true.

Dolphin school in SW11 seems to have a good reputation and smaller class sizes. I have a friend who loved it for her kids until they reached about y4 when she wanted somewhere larger.

However be very careful at the moment because many London schools are struggling to fill their reception/Y1 classes due to drop in birth rates (and for private schools, fear of VAT and greater availability of state places). Therefore, small class sizes may be a sign of a struggling school rather than an ethos. Ask whether the school has always had small classes or only recently.

I find this a shocking suggestion for a privately educated 5 year old...

Just continue to support him at home, OP. Obviously all children do better 1-2-1 at home with a parent than they do in a classroom

I can only comment on the information you have given. My point was, nothing in your opening post suggested to me that they don't care or are poor teachers. It's all well and good trying to drip feed now, with things they've apparently said about him, but based on your original comments you sounded very unreasonable. I'm still confused now to be honest as you keep contradicting yourself with different things you're drip feeding in.

You are aware what interventions are, right? Additional support designed to help bridge gaps in children's learning. Sessions delivered to them in addition to what other children are receiving, because your child has been identified as needing them. How does that equate to them not caring or doing anything to support him? You say they've run interventions, then you say they've put nothing in place to support. It's unfortunate that the interventions haven't worked up until now but these things take time. They can't lie to you. They've put something in place, as of yet it hasn't worked. You say they claim they haven't got time to help him but them you're also telling us they say he's expected in areas another school have suggested they think he's behind in. Well, of course they're not going to have time to give him additional support in an area he's expected in, if that's what you're asking of them, because it's unnecessary.

You seem annoyed that they're not suggesting you get a tutor or help him more at home. Surely that's a good sign that they see that as their role, which you are indeed paying fees for. To me, them telling you to get a tutor or support more at home would be a sign of them passing the buck and 'not caring'. No 5 year old needs a private tutor! They need to play. They need time and patience.

As I said, it's totally your prerogative to move him if you insist this other school is better for him. Do not expect miracles over night though. A child being behind does not automatically equate to poor teaching. If he's still behind in a year, despite interventions, will you be accusing the new place of being poor teachers who don't care?

Prep schools often work ahead of the National Curriculum, so often cover the Reception and year 1 curriculum in Reception. This is great for those academic kids who need more challenge but can be tough on those who aren't ready. Is your school doing this? What standard is be behind on? At the end of Reception children should be meeting the Early Learning goals. Can he do these things? If not, which are the areas that are harder? How is he doing in the other areas e.g. with his social interaction, ability to get himself dressed after PE etc

https://www.twinkl.co.uk/teaching-wiki/elg-early-learning-goals This is an easy to read link or there is the official advice on gov.uk. I hope you work out the right environment for your son but I hope he also has plenty of time to learn through play wherever he is.

If he's bright he'll catch up. With or without intervention.

He sounds like my DS. Our prep has helped him thrive and a good amount of 1:1/small group interventions included in the fees. It’s Home Counties though so not in your area. Happy for you to pm me if you want the name.

Have you looked at the roche school

Lots of privately-excited children have tutors, but I agree at 5 it is a bit extreme.

Ultimately there’s three possibilities here:

1. The child is bright but the school’s teaching is just not working for him. Child should either move school or get extra help outside, ie tutoring. Tutoring probably less disruptive to friendships and routine. There may also be the possibility of SEN.
2. The child is bright but just a little behind because of age. Do nothing, he’ll catch up in his own time.
3. The child is just not that bright, at least in an academic sense. The parents should either accept that he’ll stay near the bottom of the class, or move him to an easier, less pressurised school.

Generally I find that parents are rarely receptive to possibility three so there’s little point in raising it. Hence the suggestion of tutoring as the least disruptive intervention.

I'd move him to a state school. The relationship with a private is always money driven, they want to put the least money and effort in for the most kudos out. Find a decent state school move nearby and get him on the waiting list, you can give generous donations to the PTA, and have loads of money left for tutors extra curriculars etc.