Feeling bad about school choice

[Mimmi22]

I’m unsure whether this is pre-reception nerves or to listen to my gut on this. My little boy is starting school in September and we’ve just been to the parent’s evening and I’m feeling terrible.

We choose the school in our catchment, for various reasons, one being it’s extremely close and the other options are a big commute in the morning when we both work. We knew it doesn’t have the best Ofsted and mixed catchment etc. but generally liked the staff and the setting.

However, the Open evening was very sparsely attended, most of the other parents seemed unbothered and I felt that the whole place looked a bit dull and uninspiring. Numbers are also quite low.

I don’t think we can change things at this point, but can anyone reassure me and has anyone been convinced after an unsure start at primary? I suspect I should just go with it for now and see how he settles, but I feel so torn that I’m not enthusiastic about him starting school.

Was the parents meeting at a time when a lot of parents might be at work? Ours is at 9am on a Weds, which feels crazy.

Are there any other ways to make yourself feel a bit better- eg does the school/PTA have any social media that shows you what the school is up to?

Numbers are low everywhere due to decreased birth rate. Honestly location is so important, it will improve your quality of life. We didn’t bother with open evening, just chose closest school

Peonies12 is right about numbers being lower than they were 10 years ago. Don't forget some/many of next year's reception parents will already have children at the school so won't feel the same need to go the the reception parents' open evening, as they already know the school.

Thank you for very reasonable responses. I do vaguely know people with children in different years which initially helped me feel better about the choice.

It was 5pm, so probably some parents still working, or I guess they could have older children too.

We haven’t lived here that long and both work, so my boy doesn’t have many other friends around and others from his nursery are going to a different primary school closer to the nursery, which is too far away for us. That school has a “better” reputation, and I hear parents talking about their new class WhatsApp group etc. which makes me feel worse. I think I’m just sensitive for him to have some friends, but just need to relax and see how it goes once school starts.

5pm is a tough time for a lot of people- literally overlaps the finish work and nursery pick up slot. Also, lots of people that don’t have school age kids yet seem to take their main summer holiday in June. We went to a parents evening thing for ours, private school so the parents are at least financially invested and only 50% of DS’s new class were there. Don’t second guess your choice.

Numbers are very low in my area. We have many out of catchment children, and primary schools are closing. I think you have identified that most of the parents used the low birth rate opportunity to get into the better school. If you are very unhappy about your choice, put yourself on the wait list of the other school, chances are you will get in.

Many parents both work but are able to get their kids into a slightly further school. Are there any that has better traffic? Are there before and after school clubs?

Others who mentioned a PTA is right too. If the school has parents invested enough to have a PTA, that's a very good sign of engaged parents. Schools nowadays need a lot of volunteers (aka parent helpers). You'll want to be in a school where they can find parents to read to the children, accompany school trips and music/sports teams, in addition to being able to fund raise. It's a sad state of affair but it's what primary schools are like now.

Thanks @InTheRainOnATrain we are actually on holiday ourselves next week, so there is that! We have a settle in session next month, so I expect I’ll be able to judge better from that.

@SummerBarbecues Interesting perspective. You’re right about the numbers thing. We did like the school on visiting, and the location tipped it for us, but we can of course switch to one further away after some juggling if we really need to. There are 2 other schools fairly close, which I think will have pulled people away, because they have better reviews and a less diverse catchment.

We are encouraged by the pastoral staff and setting, so I do want to give it a chance, but then I also don’t want to struggle with moving him once the year has already started/ or miss the wait list. Essentially, we like the school and it is part of our “village area”, but not if it feels end of days and has little parent community.