Daughter struggling at school

[ThisDreamyTurtle]

My 10yo daughter is really struggling.

there’s a boy in her class that is extremely disruptive, he kicks chairs across the room, tips tables, smashes water bottles, he’s humped two girls!, he shouts and screams etc and the class is regularly evacuated.
there’s 5 staff members in the class, all just for this boy. So the other kids don’t receive much support.

none of the kids are getting a proper education as lessons are never complete due to this child’s behaviour. Staff have also said they regularly feel at risk.

my daughter is terrified of going to school , shes having panic attacks regularly and her MH has declined.

I’ve been to the school, the governors and the council. All of which blame each other and no solution is offered.

the school put my daughter on reduced hours which didn’t help. They are now offering reduced hours again and I said no, because I don’t feel my child should be missing school when she’s not the one with behaviour issues causing all of this.

im so lost. I’m very close to just home schooling her. But I thought I’d see first if anyone has any other suggestions or can advise of anything else I can be doing?

Is she year 5 or 6?

If she’s year 5, is there another school she could go to in September. It sounds as though you’ve exhausted the possibilities for support currently. If shes year 6, could you go with the reduced timetable for a short time until the end of term?

She’s in year 5, we’ve been to look around another local school however they start and finish at the same time , and my son loves his class (he’s in class 3) so I can’t get them both there at once and can’t move my son as he’s really happy! , I’ve looked into breakfast club etc and it works out too expensive unfortunately.

In most places they can walk/scoot/cycle to school in Y6. Is the other school close enough for your DD to do this?
Is online school worth researching?

It is close enough but I’m quite worried about the road near the other school, as it’s really busy around school times and she’s got to cross one of them to go to the actual crossing if that makes sense?
so she’s got to cross at the busy junction to go to the crossing to get across the main road to the school.
she has good road sense, she’s a very intelligent little girl and I trust her. But I’ve seen how people drive there and I don’t trust that the adults would allow her to safely cross.

Honestly I’d make a massive deal of my child feeling unsafe at school and make it a safety concern/safeguarding issue. Is the school really doing enough if your daughter is so scared?

It sounds as if you are already aware that you have to focus on your own child (and not other children).

I have known a similar situation at our school and both the school and parents of the child causing the problems in a classroom environment were receptive to these “complaints” because it was all evidence that the child concerned needed more support.

Move both children.
This happened to a friend of mine and she moved one happy child and one unhappy child to the same school. Happy child mildly disgruntled but soon settled.
No points tieing yourself in knots. My DD is a teenager now and probably can't remember the name of her yr3 teacher.

I'm a teacher, and unfortunately this behaviour is increasingly common. There's a child similar in my year 1 sons class, although he doesn't seem affected.
Personally I would love your child asap to a different school. Ask the school if you can pick up your year 3 child 15 early each day, if you don't want to move them. Or ask your year 5 (then 6) child to wait outside their new school 15mins.
It's really not worth the stress to them and poor education to keep them there. Sorry this is happening.

Yes exactly! His mum knows complaints aren’t directed at him it’s about the school. She wants him to receive support as much as other parents are wanting their kids to learn. Of course including myself with my child’s situation. She complains herself too.

it’s definitely a safeguarding issue. My daughter has said she hasn’t been hit with anything but a chair has gone close to her before and banged against her table. So I’m not surprised at all why she’s upset.

it’s all really stressful!

Thankyou. Yes my daughters nanna is a teacher and she’s said the same! Shes actually been hit and kicked by a child, and the council won’t do anything.

thankyou

I’ll definitely look into online.

I would have considered that but the other school would require her to cross a really busy road at a junction before she can walk to the crossing to cross the main road.

im an adult and I struggle crossing there myself as drivers are terrible! There’s been a lot of near misses with the high school kids (it’s next to the high school) , which I imagine the high school are actively trying to do something about. But I feel it’s unsuitable for a 10yo right now as it is. alternatively she’d have to walk up that road for a while and cross where it’s safer to do so, but she’d be alone and would have to then walk a lot further.

Thankyou for all of the polite advice and kindness from those that chose to listen.

im stepping off this for a bit now , im finding it quite emotionally draining as im explaining myself and people are still choosing to judge without actually listening.

which is why i did this post as my family were doing just that! , i wanted a safe place to vent.

im having surgery in a few days, so having to focus on that for now.

but I’ve decided to go ahead with the next planned meeting with school , I’ve taken suggestions on board so I’ll mention the safeguarding issues and try be as firm as possible.
if they offer no reasonable solution I’ll deregister her the same day!

so if anyone has any advice surrounding home schooling it’s very much welcomed and appreciated! I’d really love to hear any experiences etc around that. And I’ll come have a look once I’m feeling up to it ❤️🥰

Hi I’m looking for some advice and others experience. My daughter is 12 and is in 1st year at high school (Scotland). She is really struggling with anxiety and never seems to finish a full day. She is on a reduced timetable but whenever she gets in a state the school just phone me to come and collect her. I’m considering homeschooling full time as we already do this when she is not at school on her reduced hours (she is happier when learning at home). Has anyone else done this and is there somewhere we would need to register/sign up too?
thanks in advance from a desperate mum who only wants to do the right thing x

Hi Kathryn, in Scotland you need the consent of the Local Authority to withdraw your child from school, but their consent must not be unreasonably withheld, so it should be straightforward.

Here's a Facebook group you might like to join for more information: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ScottishHomeEducationForum/

Mumsnet also has a Home Ed forum, but it is not as heavily used as Facebook, so you're likely to get more responses on a FB group.