'Family' homework

[Potatocycle]

Slightly put out to discover that (alongside spellings and times tables) the DCs' school is now setting homework tasks intended as a 'collaboration' for the whole family, which is optional but heavily encouraged.

As a family we are engaged with schoolwork, don't believe education stops at the classroom door etc but this feels like a bit of an imposition. DH and I both work full-time so weekends are our family time.

DS1 is pretty enthused though so hopefully it won't be too much of a battle!

Oh the dreaded 'build a model'

I had 1 DC who loves arts and crafts and I was happy to spend 6 hours of my weekend painstakingly researching and building with her.

I had another DC who hated arts and crafts but didn't want to be the only child not to hand something in.

The second child used to build his 'model' on Minecraft then I'd print screenshots for him to take in. He spent hours happily reconstructing the Colosseum or whatever, his friends were suitably impressed (the real reason they're all so keen to do these projects, I fear) and he may even have accidentally learnt something in the process.

Thing is, this is kind of meddling in family life, isn’t it - and assumes a stable, traditional home and family set up?

I mean, it relies on having engaged parents (when maybe parents are battling ill-health, dealing with a sibling with special needs, caring for sick/disabled/dying relatives which are just a couple of the things friends are dealing with atm). It assumes both parents are on hand or not working long hours/shifts, that neither have issues such as dyspraxia/dyslexia/dyscalculia and, in a way, is passively dictating how a families should interact? Many families bond over cooking meals and walking their dogs or via the conduit of caring for older family members that live with them - they don’t need to be made to ‘do homework together’, and shouldn’t be.

Homework should reinforce or consolidate what has been taught in the classroom, and thus be able to be done independently. Parents should need to do no more that ensure an environment and tools to enable their child to do homework.

Agree with PP it seems something mums will often end up doing instead of ‘family’ and doesn’t consider any other family requirements (how many kids are doing g family homework’s?!)
research suggests really homework at primary doesn’t have much impact beyond basics of building reading habits, and getting some basic maths eg times tables. When we get to secondary, deliberate practice tasks have the most impact

I would select any that were especially useful to my child eg if they struggle with an area do those ones. I would do any child very keen to do. If neither of these apply i would pick a few that are quick but i would not pressure yourselves to do them all.

It's tricky, because for every parent saying "this is an imposition on family time", there's another saying "can you give us some materials to give some structure to the holidays so they're not just sitting in front of a screen 10 hours a day?" which is what it sounds like they're doing. And if they didn't push it quite heavily, those children it's aimed at wouldn't engage unless they had to.

@unmowngrass I do agree, and I think that's probably what they're getting at.

I must admit though that I would expect the families who are already engaged to do it (including us, despite my gentle moaning as we have set an expectation that they do what the school asks of them) and those that aren't (of which there are quite a few), not to.

I think your missing the point being made here. We’re not talking about “encouraging” an adult through their degree, nor a teenager! I think it’s quite obvious the majority of parents want to help and encourage their child with their academic success. However shoehorning a child into doing tasks for homework that require the whole family to be involved is dictating how you spend your families “free time.” As in “no sorry we can’t go see your grandparents this weekend as we’ve to make the taj mahal out of toothpicks.” It is not simply helping an encouraging them to do their homework and spend time with them!!

Totally agree @BusyMummy001 that privilege plays a big part here. I do know that as a family we are lucky to have the headspace and resources to do these projects and support the DCs' wider education, and I don't have to drive it all as DH does do his fair share.

@Grah My whole point if you read it before ranting was that I don't expect the school to do everything, and that mandated tasks cut into free time spent as a family

I hope that by the time my children are at university they will have developed independent study skills!

I’m nostalgic for the old days where homework was for the kids and once it was finished, they went and did something more interesting. Homework imo shouldn’t involve other family members at all beyond a bit of testing at the end and answering a couple of queries. No wonder we have young people incapable of independent study or even doing things for themselves without parent hovering around to sort things ou.

I will add that our school is generally lovely, and very inclusive so I assume the thinking is about trying to level the playing field

During Covid, while I was WFH and DH was frontline- Every week we had a list suggested activities that we could during the day “to enjoy time as a family” on top of home schooling and a daily class team meetings. 2 children, 1 with SEN and unable to do very much at all without 1-2-1 supervision. The academic level was not adjusted to needs so they had the same tasks as all the other children). This actually did us an huge favour as we realised how much of the basics he was missing. Additional tasks included baking or going for a nice walk. This was also reiterated in the school newsletter. I had steam coming from my ears. Still scarred, need to move on. 🤣 we did. New school.

This. Homework should be reading, spelling and times tables/number bonds in primary. Why on earth are schools trying to get children to do chores and house work? That's a parent's job. Schools have enough on their plates without having to encourage housework.

Also can we stop with the "burden on mothers" bullshit? This mother was very selective on what I engaged with. I'm not a fucking martyr, my children's father also got the emails about homework too.

Considering that when I was still teaching the class bear went lingerie shopping, to the pub, to football matches and everything else - I don't think we were using it as a safeguarding tool at all! (The knicker shopping was a mum who ran a market stall going to the wholesalers) Purely a bit of fun and leverage to get the kids to write the odd word/sentence themselves - and when the bear got too minging - he came home with me for a "spa day" (wash cycle at 60 degrees) and I had to mock up photos and fill in the diary myself!

They assume there is one parent waiting at home doing nothing while little Timmy is at school. Most parents work and don't have time for it.

Don’t doubt it’s a great school and I hope I didn’t come across as knocking it or you in anyway - but IME (ex teacher/guider/scout leader) many of those setting homework (or writing the cheat sheets for teachers on shared resources fora we all used 🤣) tend to be educated, middle class people who sometimes forget there are different pressures on families. We’re like you - always there to support and help with homework, and I’ve happily made anglo saxon hut models from straw and twigs for with the kids for school or sat up until 2 in in the morning painting a last minute papier mache dragon mask for world book day, but I grew up in a household where there I was lucky if there was food in the house this week, so totally aware of the privilege it has been to be able to parent this way - and for my kids to have this support.

I think, for me, the issue is that even though the worksheets/school message is that some of this stuff is optional, I see the looks on the faces of the kids whose parents can’t (for whatever reason) offer the same support and it creates a social divide. Fitting in at school and being able to do well there shouldn’t be predicated in any way on how committed your parents/family are to your education. If children are to have an equal education, it needs to be about quality of teaching in school - and homework should be simply to reinforce what they’ve learned or a way of opening dialogue with parents about what they are doing in class this week.

No not all at @BusyMummy001 I think that it is precisely because this school does seem aware of those pressures (and there are a lot of struggling families in the catchment) that I am a bit surprised at the approach.

Some homework set in primary school is difficult for some DC. I'm a foster carer and when 7 year old FS had to do his family tree. We'd only known he was in care because of neglect and his mother's name. No idea of grandparents etc. we ended up having to do my family free and put DC down as my DS. Otherwise there would be 2 people on his family tree his birth mother and him. He was very upset by it all.

I remember how bad it was having to write about "what I did during the holidays", everyone else went abroad, did activities, summer camp, sports etc. What did I do? Stayed at home, watched TV. I had to make stuff up to pretend I was as fancy as everyone else. My parents were working themselves to the bone to pay the bills.

Schools need to keep kids' personal lives out of school and homework. Kids should be able to do homework by themselves. I excelled at all my homework apart from the ones which needed parental input eg costume making. I hate all this "involved" stuff. All it does is show up rich kids vs poor kids.

I think parents should be less involved in schools. No more World Book Day, assemblies to parents, homework, Nativity Plays, Leavers Assemblies, trips or Parents Evenings. Most parents on here don’t seem to like these things and all these things take time and energy from teachers to plan, organise and sort on top of our day to day teaching.

Sounds like Singapore.

I remember a friend getting cross when her child’s teacher set family homework for the weekends. Things like “bake a cake and take photos” - they had lovely plans for the weekend but baking a cake wasn’t one of them.

Surely these things are organised for the children's benefit, not their parents'? And presumably where parents have an issue it is not the event per se, but finding the time, and for some, the money?

No class Teddy for my son, but Monday was news day and as he was at a special school where not all children could communicate well so we were supposed to send in either an I ject or photo as a prompt. Mostly DS took a leaf from his walk to the park down the front path on Monday morning, or a picture of him having a "tea party" cuppa!

Extended homework projects are not suitable for some dc. They really would benefit from doing more reading or getting extra help with maths that the parents cannot provide. Anyone who has worked in a deprived area does want dc to thrive but also knows family units struggle with this type of homework. I’ve been aware of cases where dc who struggle to read hide the homework. Those who know parents cannot or won’t help tend to avoid it too. So often it’s a race by middle class well resourced parents that they like to win. It can achieve working together but it’s definitely not inclusive. Practicing what dc are taught or extending that is far better. Although parents who can do that anyway.

Because some of us have full time jobs, no outside help at all, multiple children, special needs children and - crucially - want to spend our free time doing things we all actually enjoy.

And yes it is a school’s job to teach children academic subjects. That is literally what it’s there for.