Another Pta one

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Few months ago popped along to first pta meeting. Dd is year 3 and been avoiding it previously as busy enough as it is. Ended up becoming secretary but told it was just admin taking minutes which was fine. Helped out on a few tasks in school and all fine. Now summer fayre approaching and there's a what's app group for committe to communicate. Had various ideas thrown around. One one which was Sunday morning. I read it but didn't reply as busy. They got several annoyed messages from other committee members saying we needed to contribute, they'd seen that I have read message but not responding. Basically it was just agreeing to a donut stall. Replied saying it's a weekend firstly and second I don't really mind a do ut stall, couldn't really care less. Told them it's a weekend I'm not available 24/7 and don't expect to have to vote on every item at anytime of day. Got told its tough basically this is how it works! Is this normal??

I don't think it is normal, but if you can't work to that, resign. You could just say that their way of doing things is incompatible with your personal commitments.

Yes totally agree. I did try to say that I the group chat saying I would be happy to contribute to the admin side and where I can but got told that no as a committee member I need to vote on every single idea whenever it is put through the group for events. And they wonder why they struggle to get volunteers!

Volunteering shouldn't be something that causes you to be worried or have to change your behaviour for. I would just cut ties and walk away.

When my children were first in primary school, I felt the need to be 'in' with the other Mums. My own Mother pointed out to me that the only thing I would have in common with most of them was having a child of a similar age. She was right! I joined the governing body and opted out of the PTA. I have 2 really good friends who were mothers at the same time. The rest, I never see!

Don't worry about walking away, if that's what you decide.

That's a strange way to run it. If we did that we would never get anything done or agreed.

Mute the chat at weekends or if they are being awkward step down. I have had to take a step back from ours as it's to much. But they understand as the majority of us are working full time as well as helping.

It's a thankless task some days as no matter what you do or how you run things someone will be unhappy.

They're bonkers.

Said as an ex Secretary & ex Treasurer.

They need to agree some 'policies' for the fair eg will/won't have external stalls and on what basis etc, then divide responsibilities and let people organise.

Have been in PTA whatsapp groups before and we never badger anyone to reply especially on weekends. Unless it's urgent, which is very rare!

We definitely didn't do a vote on every single idea. That makes no sense.

Do you want to continue helping?
In which case, ignore the moaning and just repeat you're not available for the donut stall and if they need a vote from you, vote against it 😉
Then, if you're feeling really like making friends and influencing people make a bid for Chair and change all the rules you don't like. I'm not entirely joking either.

Haha! Great replies all thank you! I did wonder whether I was being unreasonable in my response with them. I think perhaps the chair, although super organised, doesn't like making decisions and just needs to be able to do that. I'm going to walk away. I wouldn't have stayed if their response to my message would have been more welcoming but they just reiterated the rules and said big events need input at unsociable hours but maybe if I could think of a better communication method that would I wish to share.

It's a strange way to be operating.
Not PTA, but I have been involved with various committees where decisions occasionally need to be taken out side of meetings. For those occasions, it is written into policy that X% of members need to have voted. Never 100%. It has varied from 1/2 to 3/4 but the quroum is decided at a formal meeting.

Or, in some cases, there is a sort of 'delegated responsibility (or amount, if spending) that doesn't need full committee approval for each item.