We chose the wrong school ! I feel so sad

[Hellobell]

Hey , so we chose our DS a school and I’m worried it’s the wrong one, he had a choice of a very small one for just primary years or a big one which would continue all of his school life (I was not the convinced on the facility’s for the secondary part of the school), we chose the small one and now I’m thinking with his outgoing bubble character he would have preferred the larger school, where he would have spent his whole school life ! I’m on a waiting list but chances are it won’t be available now 😭 I thought the small one would be good for more individual attention and less bullying and he would have some good options for secondary schools but now after seeing it I feel like it’s too small and cramped ! He is currently in a larger school for kinder.

I would not choose either!

Why assume there's bullying? Most schools really don't have issues like this at YR. Small schools do limit friendships. However is this just an infant school and he transfers elsewhere for y3? If so, I'm not sure I would worry. Is it a private school?

Through schools can be stifling, I'm assuming this is private. I would never have considered one. Cosy but you then limit secondary growth with new friends and experiences.

What else is available and what did you envisage after small school? Could you use a prep from y3?

Just to add: small schools aren't great for sport, music or drama/music. It's a shame if he wants these as he gets older. Why not stay for KS1 then move to a school with more on offer?

We had the option of keeping our DC at a school from 4-18, but to me that's not good preparation for life and the world of work. IMO in life you need to be prepared for and confident that you can cope with change and only going to one school and staying with a lot of the same kids for 14 years doesn't prepare you for that. The kids that I know who've stayed all the way through are the more timid ones or the ones whose parents are timid on their behalf.

How small is small?

My primary aged children are in a small school (14 in my year 5 dd class) and the school has excellent provision for drama and other extra curricular activities. It's not accurate to say that just because a school is small they'll be lacking in these areas. As an added bonus, we do not have to pay for any of these extra curricular activities. This week alone my children have attended drama (run by an outside agency but offered through the school), art club, football and LEGO club.

Honestly this sounds like buyers remorse and you’d be fretting in the other direction if you’d made the other choice. There are pros and cons to small and large schools. There are pros and cons to moving school versus all through.

Yes this is originally a point as to why we chose this as we do believe that the change would allow him to meet more friends and adapt to changes in life !

So it’s not a private school he will attend for 6 years and then we will choose a secondary, there is two classes for each form, and each class has 24 children so I. His year it would be 48 kids, they have a nice size hall which they use for drama and music but the outdoor sport area does look limited however he does attend sports twice a week at an athletic club and he does futsal once a week, he loves sports and I think that’s a main reason why I feel like this smaller school was maybe the wrong choice as the other school is very sport centered. With bullying it happens everywhere but I thought maybe with a bigger school it’s easier to go unnoticed but maybe that’s just my thought ! Ahhhh I don’t know !

I think your right, I can’t even decide on a set a drawers for my bedroom, I’m the most indecisive person so this whole school thing has rocked my boat ! I can find faults and positives with both.

48 children per year group isn't small at all! In the whole of primary there are nearly 350 pupils.

The primary my DC went to had an intake of 16 per year. It was fine. Secondary much bigger though!

That’s not small. Quite a few of our rural schools have fewer than 48 pupils in the whole school!

That’s not a small school at all!!
Come to mine, it has 15 kids per year group!!
2 form intake is the perfect size in my opinion.
I doubt it’s cramped.
There will be plenty of opportunities for him.
Stick with your decision.

A two form school is pretty standard in our area. I wouldn’t consider that small.

It could be an advantage to be in this school because he’s more likely to get into football teams etc. ie. Less competition for places.

2 class intake isn't what I would call small! It's the biggest of the 6 primaries where I live. And that's a nice small class size. I think it sounds good, op. And if you didn't like the straight through schools secondary provision then that isn't worth thinking about.

You’ve made the right choice with a small school OP. Everyone knows everyone and it’s more like a big family

48 per year is not a small school and two classes per year mean they will probably be some switching about each year so he will have friendships with the whole year and other years.

If he's happy, leave him. If he's unhappy move him. Simples

But is he happy? You talk about feeling it's too small, but TBH, what matters is whether he's happy and doing OK? I think most people would always go for the smaller school, all the better for making the most of his character rather than a big school where he might feel he has to make a big noise, perhaps?

Our DC started school in a school that went up to year 8 - ie traditional prep and pre prep model. Feeder for a minor public school. The best thing we ever did was leave and go to local primary. True the primary had few sports facilities, true the classes were bigger. However, he was a ton happier. The sporty kids all did great extracurricular stuff in the wider community. The larger classes meant more chance to find friends. There was less bullying and better management of anything like that.

At the prep school in years 3 and 4 they didn’t seem to be learning anything and didn’t cater for an academic child at all. Years 3 and 4 seemed to be about prancing about in blazers and getting across the school to lessons in other blocks independently and yet, come year 8 they were nowhere near as mature as those who left.

I went to a small school and there were 9 of us in my whole year group! I loved it and my whole family went there. I'd much rather that than a big school and my daughter will be going to a smaller school too

As everyone else has said, 2 form entry is not a small school! It's bang on average and for a 4 year old it will be a much less intimidating environment than a massive all through. I did some supply work at an all through once (comprehensive, but on a new build estate). Seems quite common for new schools to be all through these days but personally I hate the idea. I took Reception to the canteen to eat their lunch and there were sixth formers queuing up for snacks on their break. It was bizarre and not somewhere I'd feel comfortable sending my 4 year old, where they share spaces with teenagers (also not great for the teens being surrounded by little children).

It's healthy for kids to experience moving up to 'big school' after Year 6, meeting new people and making new friends. It's almost a right of passage. The school I mentioned earlier had school run mums dodging groups of teenagers hanging around outside the gates. It just didn't sit right with me.

Stop worrying. You chose this school for a reason and it certainly doesn't sound 'small'. At least let him start there before deciding it's not right for him! (I'm sure this won't be the case though).

48 per year is far from a small school OP!

48 is not small however its uneconomic to have 24 in each class. If numbers drop they could amalgamate year groups for KS2. So 90 DC in 3 classes. Something to be aware of. For sport, this size of school can be competitive.

Truly small school just are not. At my DDs old school they ran competitive teams. The sporty dc need this. I don't think small schools have very active school orchestras and drama. Too few at a good enough level at any one time. However with only 15 in a year group, how could they be?

You are completely overthinking this. He will be fine and it’s by no means a small school.