My child's homework efforts make me want to cry....

[MR2020]

My son in in Year 5 and will be doing his 11+ exam at the beginning of next term. I'm quite desperate to get him into a good school so have been trying to focus more on homework which I generally avoid as I have little to no patience. I am hopeless at trying to explain things and end up getting massively frustrated and it ends up being an upsetting experience for him (and me). He doesn't want a tutor and I don't want to push him so hard that he will then struggle should he get into grammar school. I feel I have left it far too late to start this process and worried that I have kind of scuppered any chance he may have here! Anyone else been through same thing?

Have you tried Atom Learning?

It is not too late, but your dc needs to want to work for it and be motivated. It also depends on how competitive it is to get into the school. But my dd did 11+ and she started her prep end of May year 5. She did well. But she wanted to. She was happy to do tutoring once a week and she did Atom learning. My ds is now in year 5 and he has been doing the work longer (as we knew for him earlier that we would do 11+) and he has been motivated (although lately losing interest in the prep!). Your ds will struggle to get in if he does nothing. But explain this to him. I said this to my dc, I do not mind if they dont want to do it, but if they actually want to do 11+ and succeed then they need to do some prep.

@MR2020

I think you are pushing him to do what you want. My DD did virtually no homework at primary school. She did lots of other things. She did a course for a week prior to 11 plus for timing in an exam. However if he's got huge knowledge gaps you do have a problem.

If he doesn't understand or doesn't want external help, I'm really wondering if a grammar is for him. It's not going to be easy if he cannot do his homework in y5. It will ramp up a lot at a grammar. Many non grammars are still good schools.

Grammar schools are so much harder to get into than even a few years ago. Unless he's a genius, I wouldn't be starting DIY practice this late unless you are both willing to put a lot of work in over the Summer.

I've been doing CGP books with my son since beginning of Year 4, and he's had an hour per week tutor + homework since Sept.

He's just finished learning all the content for four subjects, that were paced over 29 weeks, and he's moving onto timed practice and mocks ready for September.

I think you would have to work quite intensively to cover everything in time, but it is possible. From the way you describe your child, this approach may not be for you.

What are your non selective secondary school options like?

does he want to go to that school and know the test is required? What was he liked at school open evenings?
you might be better focusing on what the 11+ involves and setting aside some specific practice time so he knows what to expect eg verbal reasoning (not sure where you are) but ideally he should be able to do it with a few familiarisation tests

I am aware the ideal isn’t always possible and many students are tutored to an insane degree

The Bucks grammars are not full of genius children but the pace of work is faster and that doesn't suit some dc.

Don't they have to stick to national curiculum?

@SometimesYouWinSometimesYouLearn

The go to greater depth. Less revision of primary curriculum. If grammars dc are the same as secondary dc, why not have them all mixed in together? Reading ages etc might be quite different. Also some dc will be pretty bright so, just like primary, depth and extension matters for these dc.

Well, the revision of primary maths is only at the beginning if year 7 as in any year. No school school dwell on it unless there are kids that are behind but these go to relevant sets.

Foucus on your childs well being, he will be finding this all very bewildering. Protect your relationship with him, let him know that he matters most to you and you'll find a way through with him. If your really set on him doing the eleven plus you need to get him some coaching before hand. Have you thought about what to do if he isn't successful at it? He can access an excellent education without doing it. When considering whats best for his learning, start with him. Try to work out if there are learning problems for him. Talk to his teachers about your anxieties re his homework. Try to find out what the obstacles really are and how to best support him. I'm sure they'll assist you if they think there are learning needs. It's really hard when considering what is right for a young person's future, but we have to start that process in a child centred way. Wishing you all the best with it, enlist help, nurture him and yourself.