Starting primary school but not been to the preschool attached

[Bournetilly]

My DD is starting primary school in September. She has been at a private nursery rather than the pre school attached as the hours at the nursery are better. She goes to nursery 3 days each week.

Her primary school have said most children have been to the pre school and they are offering the option to book sessions at the pre school after half term. We are on holiday for the first 2 weeks after half term so she would be able to attend the sessions for 5 weeks before summer. She still needs to go to nursery 3 days.

Would it be worth booking her in the preschool one morning or one afternoon each week for 5 weeks? I don’t really want to book her in any more than this as there’s not much time left until she starts school and I want to spend the days with her. I’m not sure if it’s best for her to just start in September.

She’s confident and always makes friends when we go to places with children. There are no children from her nursery going to her school.

Thanks.

I wouldn't bother. My DC1 went to the preschool, my DC2 didn't. Both settled really quickly and after 2 weeks you can't tell which DC knew one another before.

Do they do any settling in sessions before school, so she can spend a bit of time in the classroom and see the other children?

If so I wouldn't bother. If she's going to a new place in September with no experience of it then yes, it might be a nice idea. But it sounds like she's confident and will be fine without, if you'd rather not.

I work in a foundation unit and for one morning or afternoon a week it's really not worth it!

They should have a transition day before the summer holidays to meet the children and then just start in September!

The six weeks over the summer will wipe out most of the memories of those 5 sessions tbh!

We moved between preschool and reception with both DDs. They joined classes were 90% had been at preschool together. After the first couple of weeks it wasn't that noticeable.

They only do one session and it’s an hour long, the parents stay.

I think she will be fine in September. Just worried about everyone already knowing each other but at that age they make friends so easily anyway.

Thanks. I feel like she might be best just starting full time in September. It would get her used to the setting but I don’t think she would have a problem with this. Just worried all the children will know each other already.

They only have a 1 hour transition session.

I wouldn’t be worried about it, and I wouldn’t do extra sessions if it’s not convenient for you. I’m guessing that the preschool kids will have all summer off, since school nurseries usually term time only, so they’ll be out of routine and almost starting from scratch too.

In that case no, I think she'll be fine without. They make friends really quickly at that age, and school will encourage mixing.

My son was at day nursery and went to a school with a pre-schools attached, and the whole last year I agonised over whether to send him to the pre-school on my day off. He was absolutely fine after the first few weeks (which he did find hard, but that's really common) and I'm glad I didn't send him as I loved our Fridays and miss them now.

Thank you. I think I would rather spend the time with her too because soon it will only be weekends and school holidays.

I wouldn’t bother either. Let her enjoy herself before school starts. She won’t be the only one joining from another nursery.

My dd started primary as one of only 5 kid out of 50 who hadn’t been to the attached preschool and no one from her nursery was going to the same school. She was absolutely fine and after a couple of weeks you really couldn’t tell.

The only watch out is it was maybe a bit harder to integrate with the other parents as they already all knew each other ( or so it seemed)

My daughter didn’t attend the local nursery while most other children did. She also missed the settling in sessions at school and started reception barely knowing anyone.

She has been absolutely fine. In my experience the bigger factor at this age is the parents knowing each other, especially if they have older siblings at school and have been forming those friendships for years.

For the last term of DS2's pre-school year I did send him to the village pre-school - the rest of the time he was at private nursery. I was able to wfh that morning.
They had some school settling in sessions during that period.
I was able to meet some of the parents and in general familiarise my son with the village school, the walk to school, the playing field etc.

It was a nice thing to do, but if I hadn't have been able to do it then it wouldn't have been a big deal (to either of us).

They soon settle and make friends.

Hi! I’m a teacher of a nursery and reception class. I would say your child wouldn’t experience any of the benefits of going to the school nursery for that little time. The school should be doing transition and she’ll make friends when she gets there!

My child started was in the same position as yours and she was absolutely fine! She settled really quickly and made new friends with no issues.

She’ll be fine. Honestly I had similar worries but at that age they don’t really form attachments in the way you might think. Yes we can think our four year old has a ‘bestie’ but the reality is they generally play alongside each other at that age. Just let her start school and make new friends.

Our child, now 11, didn't go to school nursery. We'd had to add days with a second childminder when he was 2 due to a change of my work days that the lady he'd been going to when he was 9 months couldn't manage. We just thought it would be and extra change and neither childminder could manage his nursey runs so he'd have needed another childminder/childcare placement on the days he'd have school. He settled in fine. What I would do is make it a top priority to manage any settling in days etc at school.

I wouldn't overthink it. No harm in taking the opportunity to meet some of the new mums and kids if it's there but it's unlikely to be the be all and end all.

My LO is in Y1 now. She had a real bestie in preschool who she was borderline stalkery with 🤣 She then started at a small primary school knowing nobody. The other day we actually bumped into the old preschool friend. My dd didn't even remember who she was.

Kids at this age are generally very adaptable, open and welcoming. She'll be fine x