what would you do?

[rainingcatsandogs]

DD is in Y1 and a 2 form entry school. We have just been told that the school is planning to mix the classes for Y2 - they were also mixed going into Y1.

DD has a best friend and DD puts her all into this friendship, sometimes at the expense of making friends with others. Another girl in the class who DD was at nursery with and has never really gotten along too well with, has decided that she wants to befriend DD's best friend. Best friend has almost "dumped" DD and gone off with her new friend leaving DD distraught.

The teacher has been aware of the situation and we agreed that DD would benefit from being buddied with others in the class to help broaden her friendships.

DH thinks her best friend hasn't been good to DD in terms of friendships and thinks it would be better if we asked that they were separated for Y2 to help DD make a wider circle of friends and to stop her being so reliant on best friend.

I am torn and not sure - any advice?!

At the end of the day it's not really up to you in terms of 'what to do'. You can request a preference to her teacher in terms of who she is kept with/separated from but keep in mind the teacher will no doubt have 10+ other such requests and they will ultimately do what they feel is best for the children in their care and the dynamics of the year group as a whole, regardless of whose parent has requested what.

If she was in my class, I'd definitely be moving her away from said best friend for her own good and moving her up with peers who she's been buddied with this term to promote new, healthier friendships, as well as some children from the other class who I feel she might gel well with.

As a parent, all you can do is encourage other friendships (playdates etc). Where your daughter is placed next year is ultimately not your decision I'm afraid.

The school will decide, and are probably in the best position to weigh up all the dynamics going on. From what you say, it sounds as if the teacher might well suggest that they are in different classes.

By all means mention that you think it might be better if they're in different classes, but as an opinion rather than a request (and don't ask for a heads-up on what they plan). "I'm rather hoping they end up in different classes next year" would be enough. If the teacher agrees, she'll be glad to know you think so too. If she's not sure, it may contribute to the decision. If she disagrees, or if other factors mean that it doesn't work out like that, then accept that, and trust them.

Schools usually keep quiet about who will be in which class until a point of no return - because otherwise they'll have loads of people petitioning for changes.

I feel for you! I had similar situation with my DD in Year 3. New child came and separated my daughter from her friend. My daughter is much older now, but I know how difficult friendships can be at primary. Whether separated in class or not, they are still in the same school and will see each other. There is no solution to all this really, all you can do is listen, be understanding, and support your daughter in her friendships as best you can. Maybe you can try an activity outside of school to broaden out friendships/experience. Rainbows/Brownies/Beavers/Cubs would do lots of different things. Good luck!