Is this normal behaviour for reception children?

[Lilacbluewaters]

Hi, just wanting any advice on what your reception child were/are like
I just feel my daughter is massively struggling, ever since starting school she is very emotional, has anger out bursts and she’s so wired and tired. She really struggles to wind down and go to sleep meaning most nights she is still awake at 11pm. I have tried EVERYTHING!
she has recently transferred schools as she was in a small village school with only 2 other girls in her class and she was coming home upset every day saying she wishes there was more girls. Her new class seems lovely but she is still struggling, she developed some tics before leaving her old school which was what pushed me to transfer her. they are vocal tics and they really take over her, I do try calming techniques and I have spoken to a doctor about this but they’ve just said to monitor them for now.
I spoke to her new teacher about my concerns but she has no concerns about her in class. I just feel so lost and it’s hard seeing her struggling.
has anyone had a similar situation? Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

sounds stressful for you and she sounds stressed, ask for salt assessment initially via school for vocal ticks

I was thinking it could be some kind of manifestation of restraint collapse (https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/z863cxs) until you mentioned the tics, though it seems that tics can be related (can't vouch for this source, but specifically mentions tics: https://dandeliontraininganddevelopment.com/2022/10/master-masking/)

I wonder whether the Dr is taking a wait and see approach because sometimes tics in young children can be fleeting and related to a specific situation (e.g. changing school)

Have a chat to the SEND coordinator about the tics and whether they could be a symptom of masking, or whether a SALT referral is appropriate (may not be if it is related to making or mental health)

One of my dd is a bit like this. Reception was a major stressor for her - the wired and tired description really resonates, as does the overflow of emotions and hair trigger for meltdowns. We also moved schools for her part way through reception from a very busy (31 in a class) school to a private with only 6 in a class, and it helped. I think she was massively overstimulated in the first school. We are now in y2 and still have periods like this when life overwhelms and we see a return of those behaviours. We now have more strategies for working through, which include:

• stick to a routine - even when it doesn’t seem to make a difference it is what grounds you both and will help ease the return to a healthier rhythm
• if she’s overstimulated/ overwhelmed in school keep evenings and weekends boring. When we are going through a rough patch we scale back all demands, including ‘fun’ days out . Activities or days out may seem appealing, but can add to the load. Now dd is older she is better able to verbalise a need for a weekend of pure downtime where she potters with toys and doesn’t get up to much.
• explore sensory play options or other means of self regulation. Find activities that calm her and have those available after school. Things dd uses for self-regulation include soft toy snuggles, arts and crafts and Lego.

for full disclosure we are having dd assessed for autism. Not saying these behaviours are indicative for your dd, but it is an important piece of context for my dd.

would second the pp who suggested seeing a SALT - they do so much more than just speech, and are a great port of call when things aren’t working but you aren’t entirely sure why.