Worried about child at school

[sugaryouth1]

My child is going to be the youngest in the year. She's going to a school that isn't that close so its a 15 minute walk plus a bus journey. I have appealed and we have gone on the waiting lists for other schools.

My main concern is she has a friend. This friend is 5. She goes to the same school and is currently in reception so will be in year 1 when my child starts. I have no doubt these 2 love one another as kids do but my child's friend is very domineering and has already said when mine goes to school she won't be allowed to play with anyone else or she will kick off if she makes other friends.

Can I speak to her teacher about this? My child does have a tendency to just go along with what the other wants. She's very young socially and that is a main concern of mine anyway but I really wanted her to branch out and make some friends.

I'm also worried in general with her being the youngest. She's going to be 4 in the middle of August and I have no real concerns academically. She's so eager to learn but socially I'm worried. She doesn't really play with other children. She doesn't understand. She will play for hours with her own imagination and toys. I know a lot can change from now till September. I guess like all parents I'm just worried

First of all, please don't worry too much about the older dominating friend as they will be in a different classroom. They'll only see each other on the playground (if the school let Reception mix with the rest on the main playground. In some schools Reception stick to their own area).

I would only raise it if it does become an issue at playtime. In the classroom she will be free to mix with her own classmates without her older friend interfering. I'm sure this friend is just excited for your daughter to join. In reality, I'm sure she has friends her own age too and will be far too busy playing with them at school to bother to much about seeking out your daughter. Fingers crossed.

Remember there will be other summer born children in your daughter's class. I know it can be daunting knowing she won't have long turned 4 when she starts but there will be other children at a similar age/stage too. Lots of children still prefer to play alone when they start Reception, especially the younger ones. It's a normal development phase which many start to grow out of during the Reception year, as they continue to grow and develop socially. It wouldn't hurt to mention this to her teacher, so they are aware for when she starts, but hopefully her nursery will pass this on too so they know to keep an eye on her and encourage her socially.

Children change so quickly at this age. I'm sure it won't be long before she begins to flourish socially in her new setting.

Reception often have their own outdoor play area that is used for free flow during school time and that in many schools is used for playtime for at least the first term.

It's quite likely she will not be having break and lunch on the same playground as her friend for at least a term if not more by which point she will have friends in reception,

Emailing the teacher sounds like a good idea.

Yes nursery asked for her school place so they can make a report. They said they have no concerns for her academically. Just socially. And she's exactly where she should be. She's just tiny. She's always been on the 2nd percentile and the idea of sending her to school so little makes me worry. Silly I know.

I do believe the reception have their own play area. Which is also a relief. My friends little girl is lovely but she can be quite over the top and possessive. And that worries me.

Of course you are worried. She's tiny and she's starting big school. It's a huge learning curve for both of you.

Most schools arrange home visits prior to first days in reception. These are not snoopy peeks at your home circumstances but an opportunity for you, your child and your teacher to learn about each other. Use that time to chat to the teacher and talk about your little girl's needs.

It's scary but it will be fine.

Someone has to be the youngest and someone has to be the eldest in every class.

Someone will also be the tallest and someone the smallest.

Like others have said unless it's a mixed R&1 class which isn't common unless in a really small school, they will probably see each other on the playground but otherwise interaction will be limited.

If reception have own play area which is common she'll barely see her

My DD is 5 and a tiny little thing too, other children often tell her she is “really cute” and she is often babied. We did loads on ‘my choice’ and ‘my boundaries’ before she started and to make sure she did what she wanted to do and not someone else. I did share my concerns with her teacher - which I would do if I was you, (do you get a meet the teacher meeting?) DD is doing well and really holding her own.

As other people have said, most receptions have their own playgrounds or atleast own playground time. Again, I’d mention your concern to her teacher again, just for them to keep an eye.

I was the youngest and smallest in my year. When I went to school, you started the term after you were 5, so I didn't get a Reception year at all. I didn't attend play group/preschool/nursery because I hated it when I tried it, so I spent all my time with my Mum.

There were no academic concerns, just social ones because I'd not really mixed with children my own age.

I did well academically, went to university and now part of the SLT in a Multi Academy Trust. Socially, I was a bit reticent and remember being enveloped by my teacher's big skirt as she put her arms around me on the first day. My Mum was dismissed and told I would be fine, and I was taken in and reassured. I was introduced to a few girls who were settled and secure and I was absolutely fine - I remember lots of the girls in my year, but the most ironic thing was that I became good friends with the oldest, tallest girl.

I now work closely with a colleague who was also an August birthday and had a similar upbringing and introduction to school. We are the most sociable people in the office and have the least fear about walking into a new situation.

Talk your concerns through with the class teacher before she starts and ask the teacher to help with some friendships to support her.

It might be possible to delay her start to the following year. Join the Facebook group - Flexible School Admissions for Summer borns for more information.