Should I move my daughter or not?

Happymama24 · 2024-04-13T22:33:19+00:00

DD6 is in junior infants in a small school. We are nearly finished an ASD assessment, don't know results yet. She is extremely shy and can take a long time to open up to anyone. She is very happy in the school she is in but I have concerns. The school is so small, maybe only 15/16 kids in her class. Next year the school will be down to 4 teachers. It means she will always be in a split class. I have a gut feeling that I should move her but I'm worried about how long it will take her to settle in. What would you do? TIA

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OppsUpsSide · 13/04/2024 23:35

My children went to a small school with split classes from years 1-6, I’ve taught split classes for most of my teaching career, what are your concerns?

Dacadactyl · 13/04/2024 23:36

If my DD was happy there and I thought she was learning at the right pace for her, I wouldn't move her.

Starlightstarbright3 · 13/04/2024 23:39

Nope happy and settled . No reason to move .

These are the foundations of everything they learn . Class sizes some dream of and people pay private school fees for

PoochiesPinkEars · 13/04/2024 23:40

Small class sizes are brilliant!!
Both my DC were educated in small village school with split classes and there were advantages... Not sure what your concerns are tbh.
In a split class there is a broad spectrum of skill which can be a very supportive situation for anyone with learning differences because the teachers will be experienced at scaffolding across a range and also providing different skill levels for tasks, like when you go to an exercise class and they give you the 'if you've recently had knee surgery do it like this' and 'if you're an athlete do it like this' versions... And everything in between.
I actually think my DC benefited from this a lot.

maudelovesharold · 13/04/2024 23:43

I’m not sure I understand ‘junior infants’. If in the UK, do you mean Primary - which is yrR through to Yr6, or separate Infants’ school (usually yrR - yr2)?
Juniors is usually yr3 - yr6.

Original poster

Happymama24 · 13/04/2024 23:43

OppsUpsSide · 13/04/2024 23:35

My children went to a small school with split classes from years 1-6, I’ve taught split classes for most of my teaching career, what are your concerns?

My eldest is in 4th class in the same school. I am concerned about possibly dyslexia and handwriting. We got him checked by an OT and his teacher had to full in some of the form before assesment. On the form she ticked that she did not want to hear back from OT regarding suggestions for problem areas that would help my Son. This is on top of loads of issues with this one teachers behaviour.
With the school only having 4 teachers I'm worried that she will have my daughter class next year or maybe another year. If this is her attitude regarding helping children with needs I really don't want her to teach my children. I have raised this with the school but have got no where. My daughter is also dealing with situational mutism and really needs someone to be patient and consistent etc or she won't open up at all. We are now in April and she will not talk to any adults in the school apart from her own teacher.
I just her to have the best chance to thrive

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Original poster

Happymama24 · 13/04/2024 23:45

maudelovesharold · 13/04/2024 23:43

I’m not sure I understand ‘junior infants’. If in the UK, do you mean Primary - which is yrR through to Yr6, or separate Infants’ school (usually yrR - yr2)?
Juniors is usually yr3 - yr6.

Hi, so we are the first year of official school after Montessori. We are in Ireland

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Original poster

Happymama24 · 13/04/2024 23:46

Sorry everyone, I should have given more details in the first message. I'm nervous of making a wrong decision for her.

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CliffsofMohair · 13/04/2024 23:46

maudelovesharold · 13/04/2024 23:43

I’m not sure I understand ‘junior infants’. If in the UK, do you mean Primary - which is yrR through to Yr6, or separate Infants’ school (usually yrR - yr2)?
Juniors is usually yr3 - yr6.

Junior Infants is equivalent to YR in Ireland.

CliffsofMohair · 13/04/2024 23:48

OP I would be guided by provision in this school - resource hours and TA support. If a local school has an ASD class it might be worth exploring in case she needs in future

PoochiesPinkEars · 13/04/2024 23:55

Ok, that makes more sense.
What are your options?

Original poster

Happymama24 · 14/04/2024 00:03

PoochiesPinkEars · 13/04/2024 23:55

Ok, that makes more sense.
What are your options?

We have 2 other schools that we could consider. An all girls school, looks great and they just opened an asd unit last September.
The other option is a mixed school, very big but they have 4 ASD classes. If we do need a unit the mixed school has a very long waitlist.
I have a DS 3 and he will be due to start school in September 2025.
I would definitely leave my eldest where he is as he only has 2 years left, very happy and he has a great group of friends.

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Original poster

Happymama24 · 14/04/2024 00:07

CliffsofMohair · 13/04/2024 23:48

OP I would be guided by provision in this school - resource hours and TA support. If a local school has an ASD class it might be worth exploring in case she needs in future

Thank you, they have been good to her. She gets 1 movement break per day and the SNA meets her at the door in the morning to help with the transition. She doesn't get upset but just freezes when she gets to the door. As the school gets smaller the number of Sna's may be reduced as well as the teachers. It's an Irish school so the number are that bit lower than average. She doesn't mind the Irish at all.

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Labraradabrador · 14/04/2024 00:20

Small class sizes are helpful for those with sensory issues, but I think a knowledgeable and supportive teacher is more important. My dd is also being assessed for autism and it is a world of difference when you have a teacher who gets it on a really fundamental level. We have that teacher now and it is SO easy. Last year’s teacher had all of the best intentions and was really keen to support, but just lacked the experience and confidence. Both years were good in that we were supported by the school more broadly and they were very proactive about figuring out how to accommodate dd, but even so last year was a challenge and I can’t imagine going through it with a teacher that opts out of discussion around support.

I would go for a school that is inclusive and adaptive. Change can be difficult, but waiting for things to go off the rails just means dealing with a bigger challenge down the road.

minipie · 14/04/2024 09:27

Is the school small but size staying steady, or is it shrinking? If it’s shrinking I’d be concerned that more teachers (especially the better ones) will jump ship and it will become unsustainable as a school.

Original poster

Happymama24 · 14/04/2024 11:16

minipie · 14/04/2024 09:27

Is the school small but size staying steady, or is it shrinking? If it’s shrinking I’d be concerned that more teachers (especially the better ones) will jump ship and it will become unsustainable as a school.

Definitely shrinking, when my son started there was on average of 25 starting per year. Now it's 10-15.

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TheSnowyOwl · 14/04/2024 11:19

An autistic child who is happily settled in a small school is likely to do better than an autistic child who isn’t happily settled in a bigger school. So really, you need to be looking at what the school you would move to has that would benefit her because that’s the important bit over where she currently is.

Original poster

Happymama24 · 14/04/2024 14:01

Thanks everyone, lots to think about. I am hoping to have her report back within the next 4 weeks. This will confirm whether she has autism or not. Hopefully it will give some suggestions also so we have a more clear picture of what we are looking at moving forward.

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PTSDBarbiegirl · 14/04/2024 14:12

If you can forget about finding out decision based on if you, "confirm whether she has autism or not" and only consider her needs and presentation. These will not change regardless of diagnosis. Go with the environment your DC is settled and happy in. I have worked in many SEN schools, some 'Autistic classes' can have only 4 children but very, very mixed presentation, going from very quiet (rare) and very loud and aggressive. Consider the environment they are happy in now.

minipie · 14/04/2024 20:58

Happymama24 · 14/04/2024 11:16

Definitely shrinking, when my son started there was on average of 25 starting per year. Now it's 10-15.

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This would be reason enough for me to move tbh. Birth rates have been dropping and some primaries are not going to survive, this sounds like it may be going that way.

The girls’ school sounds good, do you have any concerns about it? Know anyone there?

Original poster

Happymama24 · 14/04/2024 20:59

PTSDBarbiegirl · 14/04/2024 14:12

If you can forget about finding out decision based on if you, "confirm whether she has autism or not" and only consider her needs and presentation. These will not change regardless of diagnosis. Go with the environment your DC is settled and happy in. I have worked in many SEN schools, some 'Autistic classes' can have only 4 children but very, very mixed presentation, going from very quiet (rare) and very loud and aggressive. Consider the environment they are happy in now.

Ok, good advice. Thank you. I suppose the reason I am so indecisive is because of it being such a small school she is bound to get that teacher at some stage. She is so dismissive and difficult to deal with. She is a permanent teacher so not going anywhere anytime soon. I have raised this with the school and my concerns about next year and they are going to get back to me on it. I dread having to think about this for the next seven years. I sound very petty talking about this teacher but this year has been brutal with all the incidents to deal with on top of the dismissive attitude
I was considering moving her for September coming while she is still young because I think it would only get more difficult the older she gets. But she is happy there. I know she is very quiet and only talks to 2 adults there but this would be the same regardless if we changed school.
I really do appreciated all the advice and points to consider, it's good to see it from someone else's point of view and other who have experience in this area

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Helenloveslee4eva · 14/04/2024 21:02

She could benefit from being an older kid in a combined age class as there will be children who’s social skills might better match hers cos they are younger , and she just needs time to develop at her own rate ….. ditto academic skills

PTSDBarbiegirl · 15/04/2024 09:35

@Happymama24 that sounds like a difficult situation re the teacher. Unfortunately some people really don't understand autism, particularly in girls as it presents in so many different ways. Does your DD have this sense of the teacher being dismissive? I'm asking because it's surprising how children respond to people you think will be difficult for them. Some teachers are fixed in their views but the day is 100% predictable which can be a huge plus point. Obv if she is experiencing negativity then that's different.