Are any of your children super clever?

[QuickTraybake]

I was a very good reader and mathematician from a young age. DS aged 7, he excels in everything at school. In reception he could count to 100. He is currently the best mathematician in his class and is a fantastic reader. He has recently received his “pen license” whatever that was. He is also great at history and exceptional at sports.
Are any of your kids like this or better?

The latter posts to this thread where it's taken a little turn are interesting.

My own experience is that in nursery/primary we all were caught up in whether our dc was showing signs of being the next Einstein, Pele or Thatcher.

And then in secondary, for so so many of us, we don't give a shit any more about the 9s, just praying our kids aren't the ones self harming, doing drugs, sex etc and would swap our right arm for them just to be happy.
Phones and the instant access to everything have a lot to answer for, there are huge numbers of very very unhappy teens at the moment.

DD2 could be. Doesn't have to try very hard to get 7's, could do better but wouldn't try.

No. None of ours are better. They're basically mobile potatoes.

Both could count to 100 well before reception, brilliant readers (reading age at least 2 years above their actual age) and had their pen license early on for beautiful handwriting. Also have strengths in other areas but I wouldn't call either exceptional. I would describe them as above average and happy which is more than enough for me.

As PP above said, as they get older I just want them to be happy, confident and resilient. To be able to socialise and make friends and stay healthy.

I have three DS none of them excelled at primary school. One did very well at A level 3 A*. They all went to university and achieved a first in science subjects. I don't think doing very well at primary school is a good indicator of future success children go at their own pace

Pretty sure this OP was written by someone not much older than kids in Reception, guys…

Can’t most kids count to 100 in reception?

My advice, not that you’ve asked for it, would be to appreciate your child for his work ethic and personality. Of course praise him when he does well, but all the ‘top of the class’ stuff is pointless. It doesn’t indicate continued success, it doesn’t mean they’ll be happy in the future. It’s a very narrow measure within a small cohort.

I was considered pretty average / thick until 11 when I unexpectedly became a top grade top of the class performer. Then did ok at uni but not amazing. Have done well again professionally.

My behind the curve on maths eldest became top of the class and is now on extra maths within 1yr. It all changes, both up and down.

Love your child for who he is, not what he has or hasn’t achieved.

My daughter was always very clever and people flagged to me that they believed she was gifted and talented. She is in reality autistic, (still clever) and in primary school was good at masking it. I was an exceptional reader in primary school, at 6 I had a reading age of 16/18 I seem to recall. I believe I'm probably neuro diverse - it runs in families. I guess what I'm saying is to keep an eye. Bright is good but often comes with other issues that take time to unravel.

Honestly, in adult life and the working world, few of us can identify who would have been the academic high fliers in school. It doesn't always translate to anything meaningful in adult life. People skills, emotional intelligence, business savvy, drive, ambition, dependability, vision, or just being a thoroughly decent person who works hard and gets on in life. All those things probably trump academic ability in the real world. I know some people who struggled to achieve academically, or just had poor concentration or no interest in doing so, and some of them have gone on to have very successful careers and great lives.

I'm thinking of the people I know specifically, qualified tradesmen, a paramedic, someone in the fire service, a pilot for private yachts for very rich people, a dental nurse, a CAD designer in a high performance sports car business, a paediatric nurse, a few entrepeneurs. They do very valuable roles. Please don't lose heart. Your girl will find her thing and she'll be brilliant at it.

If there's one thing most of us have learnt in the last 15 years or so, it's that sending 50% of young people to university has been a mistake and it has not resulted in 50% of young people necessarily being any brighter than they ever were in previous generations, and there certainly are not 50% of young people working in graduate level positions. We've all seen plenty of very talented young people make great successes of their lives who were very far from being high achievers while in education. But find the right training programme for the right career and they can fly.

All of mine are. My middle one started reading at 2. They all work hard but they have natural ability too. Seven A grade A levels, three A* A levels, 2 A grade A levels at 15. A first at uni.

Why?

So many true words on this thread (thanks for the kind ones after my Moan fest it's the rollercoaster of Approaching Exams and I'm feeling over sensitive!) about it being the long game that matters, importance of mental health.

It's a really tough time to be youngsters isn't it.

😂 well said @GoodnightAdeline

He can't explain to you what a pen license is so he clearly lacks basic communication skills

My SEND daughter explained that to me v clearly

Also there is no way a teacher would tell you he was best in class

What do you hope to get from this ?

Op, your DC sounds like a bright little spark. I love when people boast genuinely about their children, far better than a well honed stealth boast, we should be proudly of our children and of other people's! I also found it tricky when people were cagey about their child's strengths and weakness, because it made it hard to know whether I needed to encourage mine in an unusual talent or to help them work on a weakness if I didn't have any real frame of reference! So I'll "boast" about mine for you...

DC1, v young for the year, could read before starting reception. They "read" memorised books from around 2, moved onto actual reading of sentences soon after 3, and they haven't stopped reading since (secondary school now). Their reading ability has always far outstripped their age. The year 1 teacher noticed they were actually great at maths too as well as being the clear outlier in reading and writing. Various interests have passed through, eg space (we bought a telescope), plant and tree ID (more books, and I still ask them to ID things and trust the answer!) etc. I got them learning an instrument to give them another focus in school. Extra curricular stuff including drama which they still excel at and gives them another focus outside of school (and has served them well within it). I've got to know the other children in their club/s and genuinely cheer them on and and am proud of their achievements, which is one of the lovelier bits of parenthood I didn't see coming 😊. DC is doing great at secondary. But you know what, they are not a clear outlier anymore now there are lot more children to compare to and they are in appropriate sets. And I like that..!!

DC2.... Mid year birthday, currently in reception. Late to talk, no words not even "mama" before 2.5... Can read, not like DC1, but seemingly better than most I've come across. Once they started talking, it exploded, could have been a different child by 3. A LOT more emotional and, er, highly strung... If I had to call it now I'd say that DC2 has more outright intelligence than DC1, but is less likely to use that power for traditional straightforward compliant academics... 😆 The maths is beyond DC1 and any other child I've known in real life by a country mile (although I'm sure it's average by mn standards). Always been obsessed with numbers - forget 100, counting could be to any number you had the patience to wait for, can read numbers into the 10s of millions etc. Mental arithmetic, two digit additions and subtractions to a point in their head, counting in 12s on the way to school working it out on the hop, 2/3/4/5/10/11 x timetables out of order either immediately or quickly on fingers. Can tell the time (and calculate the number of minutes until bedtime, then argue about it...!!)..You get the jist. All self motivated. I think the maths ability is too far advanced to not always be a strength, but I predict a smart but "normal" child and that it will even out a lot by secondary. I do worry more with this one due to personality and the fact they "struggle with life" a bit more than DC1 and have their heart on their sleeve always. So I'm mindful to build resilience and confidence where I can.

Here ends my boast of my wonderful children. I'm glad yours are doing well too OP. Just take it as it comes, support their interests and their shortcomings. x

Out of interest OP, what’s the purpose of your question?

Your examples all sound pretty average to me; if he’s 7 surely he’s a fluent reader by now? A pen licence is just about handwriting, not really an indication of intelligence.

but instead of a preoccupation with being clever or advanced I’d be celebrating qualities like perseverance, curiosity, kindness, self control, social skills etc. these are all the things that are likely to lead to success as an adult. No one is happy or succeeds just because they’re ‘clever’. These are the things I’d be emphasising rather than inate ability Which can backfire….

My DS was identified as 'gifted' in Year R - he started school reading fluently, knowing all his multiplication tables, adding and subtracting confidently.
He continued to be 'gifted' mathematically through Primary and Secondary, various teachers did various testing with him and yes, he was managing GCSE papers in Y 4 and A level papers in Y7.
He achieved 4 x A* at A level and various other mathematical achievements (Olympiads etc) and got into Oxbridge. Although still very very clever (top 10 in his year and achieved a First) he has met the real geniuses (the top 3 in the year and he tells me they really were something special) and quite a lot of other young adults as clever as him. He bagged a graduate job paying £100k per year but honestly, what really set him apart particularly at school and university was his work ethic. He loves Maths but he still works bloody hard at it. Too early to tell how life will pan out but for now he has emerged from school/university/pandemic happy, and still has a great work ethic (hopefully his newish employers will continue to be happy with his performance). and that's what makes me happy. I would be happier still if he managed to find a girl/boyfriend/partner!

I think it's all about what he is being measured against - best mathematician in class is dependant on the class standard and no offence but using the word mathematician seems a bit of a stretch when they are learning counting in 5s and maybe just starting on factors.

When you say exceptional at sports, I think you really can't tell this at 7. Is he likely to get selected for District for these sports ? I just think it's early days to day someone is exceptional at sports. Anyway an awful lot changes through primary school and secondary.

I think you sound like a supportive mum which is great, but I wouldn't elevate his too high as in my opinion large chunk of the real world is about grit and social relationships so don't let him get too big headed as it will affect him socially. Also my brother went to a Cambridge, in his 50s now, being super bright was just all to east and he's not done as well as me as he just doesn't have that grit and resilience that the occasional struggle requires from you.

That's amazing OP. What would you like to know?

DD is just on the right side of average,has always been and we're more than happy with that. Except for algebra. Bloody algebra.

A beautifully behaved, hard working girl is going to be so much better placed for the real world than someone who has never needed to try or who knows what rejection or sadness feels like. Some of the most successful and happy people I know were exactly as you describe your daughter to be at school. I would be immensely proud. You do not need to be jealous or compare. I’d take a kid like yours any day over a precocious brat who thinks they’re special.

I am always puzzled when people talk about their children being “Gifted & Talented”. I thought that was a weird label that was used in the past but no longer exists in schools (rightly so in my opinion).

As mentioned previously, being bright can come with some difficulties, for example if you are ND. Many people in my family are. My four year old is one of the youngest in his year. He is quiet at school, so I'm not sure his teacher knows what he can do. He's on his times tables and likes to add numbers all the way up to 500. He will talk about adding numbers in increments to form a pattern like 1+2+3+4+5=15 then go onto tell me all the various ways to get to 15. He is into square numbers too. I encourage him but I don't say oh how clever you are. I don't want to label him or put pressure on him. I just want him to enjoy it really. I have a very high IQ but don't like to tell people in real life but I suspect I am ND and have difficulty with social situations.

DS is very bright ( 4 A* @ A level- finds the work at his Oxbridge College easy). What I remember about his early development is that he never got anything wrong, sat @ 4 months, no wobbling, walked @ 10, no falling infact he hardly ever fell over. Learnt chess @ 6 and could beat both his parents by 7. He just excells at everything he attempts. He was devastated to fail his driving test.

I was very bright as a child- put up a year at school, top grades, Cambridge degree- and yet I have achieved fuck all 😂

Please be careful your attitude doesn't rub off on your child. I used to work in education and children who were raised like this used to constantly say things like 'my mummy thinks I'm brilliant at EVERYTHING'. It was very difficult and used to drive the other kids mad.