8yo reads a lot and doesn’t have a lot of friends

[whenitsover]

yr 3 child reads a lot..mornings, break and lunch times at school, after school and before bed. This is despite encouragement to do other things, play games, with me, her younger sister etc. as a consequence she doesn’t really have a lot of friends, hardly gets birthday invites (and asks why she doesn’t get them), doesn’t get invited to play dates etc. I’m worried that her excessive reading is either preventing her from building/maintaining friendships, or is masking something else. She’s generally a happy child, but something does doubt herself, and attempts to correct her behaviour results in her calling herself bad/not good (despite positive framing of situation). Should I be concerned?

In all seriousness, have you considered accepting and celebrating her the way she is?

Some people are quiet people. They are wonderful, talented, kind and valuable quiet people.

Read 'Quiet Girl in a Noisy World'.

Only push more socialising if she is lonely. Support her to find herself, not to follow your blueprint.

Good grief.

This is ridiculous.

I was that child, exactly like your daughter. Reading was so good for me- I got excellent results in all my exams, got two degrees and now run my own business.

I didnt have many friends at school until I was about 15. Then, at 15/16 I made 4 really close friends at school and we are rock solid friends now 30 years later. I now have a close knit circle of about 6 friends (4 from school as mentioned above). I have a husband and two lovely kids. Please don't worry- not everyone makes friends at age 8, there is plenty of time.

No, it wasn't clear.

This is the post (immediately preceding mine) that I was responding to.

I teach year 3 and sometimes have children ask to stay in and read. If I think they're doing it because they're having friendship problems then I'll support them in finding a friend. If it's because they're bookworms then I'll often let them stay.

A couple of the boys in my class told me last week that they've made a book club and take their books out to break with them. They're quite strict about who can join. You can only be a member if you're reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid!

My own dd was brought up in a home full of books and was read to since she was a baby but has no interest in books now which makes me sad.

I love to see children who love reading.

Your dd is in a choir and goes to brownies so is socialising. If she wants to spend unscheduled time reading then let her do what she enjoys.

Hey OP my daughter is exactly like yours!! She reads at school in break times , doesn't play with her sister as much as her sister would like, reads instead of eating, sleeping,changing, leaving the house. She does a variety of extra curricular activities and does make friends both there and at school, but her relationships are relatively superficial, and she definitely doesn't have the best friend always together type relationship that seems common at her age. Her closest friends all have other closer friends, and she sits outside friendship groups. She's not asocial at all, but she senses that she doesn't fit in as well as everyone else. We help by setting up play dates which always go great, but like you we feel they aren't quite as actively reciprocated. She's not flagged for SEN - her teacher just thinks primary school can be a bit of a small world and that as she gets older she'll find her people.