4 year old school has mentioned sensory but I think she’s just shy

[Brett9]

Hello,

At parents evening the school brought up my daughter is very cuddly with 1 teacher and if she gets upset throughout the day she will hold in the tears until she sees that teacher and will likely burst out crying and ask for her brother (in year 1, last year they were free flow between classrooms so she’s found it hard not being with him).

She has her best friend (from nursery) and plays with other children but doesn’t initiate the play. at lunch she plays with her brother and the year 1 children she’s friends with.

for me she is a shy child and can get silly when she’s shy, goes all cuddly to the adult she knows (but she does put her whole body weight on you!). I don’t see it as a problem as I was very shy and wouldn’t initiate playing with children. She is well behaved and good at her school work. Not disruptive at school or home.

At the end the teacher said they have taken my daughter to a sensory room when she gets upset and asks for her brother. The teacher was very tentative and said thank you for taking it well at the end of the 10 min parents evening slot.

im now over thinking this like do they think she has SEN or autism or something? Surely more would have been said or they’d have called me in to discuss it rather than drop it in the 10 minute parents evening. Has anyone else’s child been taken to the sensory room to calm down when they are upset? But after a while they settled?

You’re putting 1 and 1 together and getting 5. School aren’t suggesting autism but you need to speak to them to find out if her behaviour is beyond the range of normal and what they think the next steps should be. This should have been raised before parents evening.

Sensory rooms are nice calming places I wouldn't read to much into it

They are highlighting a behaviour and their method of supporting your daughter. I would keep an eye as girls are challenging to diagnose.

An assessment will only identify a need of a child. It takes a very long time and isn't particularly challenging for the child.

Thank you for your replies they are helpful

in my experience schools are rubbish at identifying SEN anyway OP! It’s good the teacher has found something that’s helpful for your daughter. My DD got diagnosed in year 1 but we had noticed a lot of signs before then (school hadn’t).

there Is great scope for ambiguity at age 4 between Sen, normal differences in development and simple personality characteristics. I would do your best to support what she seems to need and keep any eye out for other signals that Sen might be present.

i have a dd who had some challenges in nursery and reception, but also generally functioned well, and being young in year it wasn’t clear early on if Sen was present or if she was just young / quirky personality. Y2 now, and she’s doing really well, but it is also increasingly clear that there is some neurodiversity present. Anecdotally y2/3 is the point where things start to fall apart (neurodiversity cannot cope with increasing academic and social demands), so despite doing well now we have recently initiated an assessment for autism and adhd. We are going private because nhs route in our area is ~3 YEARS to get assessed. My strong recommendation would be to seek assessment earlier than later if there are flags of neurodiversity, and/or put money aside now for private assessments

Thank you all. Yes it’s funny as I noticed a lot of things with my son, and I asked the school from nursery did think it was anything to worry about (he stims) so I was like fair enough. And in year 1 he is thriving now, but in reception they said he had struggle handling his emotions quite bad. But seems to be gone in year 1. So I’m clearly a rubbish judge as I see no signs with my daughter and they have. Either that or my children just grasp their emotions later than others! Thank you again for your opinions.