Party invites why do I get upset for my ds

[crazedupmom]

Hi

My ds does do quite well on the party invites and gets invited to quite a few.

However there has been the odd occasion where he hasn,t recieved an invite and I have felt quite upset about it.

I realise thats its a really silly way to feel but I just cannot help it.

I am feeling a bit put out at the moment.
A girl that used to go to my ds's school before she moved to another is having a party this month.

This girl, my ds, and two of my ds's best mates at school were all quite chummy at school.

myself and the two other moms would also chat together at the school gates while the three of them ran off over the school field to play at home time.

Only one of the moms has kept any kind of contact with this girl and her mom, myself and the other mom don,t see or speak to her anymore.

Now both of these moms children have recieved an invite to the girls party but not my ds.

I feel awful for him.
Am I right to feel remotely upset about it.
My ds knows about the party as one of his mates mentioned it to him and said are you coming but of course my ds has not been invited.
I,m sorry I just cannot help feeling a bit upset even though I know its daft of me.
Its just that his two mates will be talking about the great time they had when my ds didn,t even get an invite even though they all used to play together.

I neve r understand why kids are exculced from parties, it's upsetting, but you have to let it go.

I knwo how you feel, sometimes you just have to let things go. We are in the situation where it is whole class parties 3 parties in one weekend FFS

I knwo how you feel, sometimes you just have to let things go. We are in the situation where it is whole class parties 3 parties in one weekend FFS

Trouble is, sometimes the parents, or kid only wants a small party or to do something as a treat, like an outing/cinema/bowling etc. That always means excluding people. The line has to be drawn somewhere,perhaps the mum could only invite so many friends.

I don't think you can think of it as right or wrong to feel the way you do ... you just feel it. You are not being silly though. I know I would feel the same (not an issue yet as DS is only a baby).

For me it's partly that I was not always invited to things myself as a kid and sometimes felt a bit left out (we moved a lot). I expect I will find it a struggle not to project my own memories of feeling hurt onto DS, if the situation arises when he is bigger. Maybe this is happening to you too? Try to keep it in perspective, he might not give a damn actually. Suggest something fun he can do with another of his mates, some sort of treat, no need to tell him why -- it will just be a nice thing to do and will make you feel better!

I think its a bit daft to be upset about it TBH sorry. If it was your DS's very best friend I could understand, but like you say you don't even speak to the mum and arnt in contact anymore. Theres always a limit of how many kids you can invite for a venue and how many you can cope with supervising,afford to feed ect.
As it sounds as if your son and the other kids you mentioned are right on the edge of the group with being someone who the child used to socialise with but doesn't any more and some will be left out, maybe the hosts child still sees the other two who have been intvited at some kind of activity or something and so wanted to invite them.

What I meant really was don't take it personally, its almost certainly about number restrictions and nothing to do with excluding your DS. My DD's party is soon and the limit for the place is 20 which means she will be able to have some from school and some kids we know from when she was younger, i would like to invite more than that but theres not the space.

When ds1 was 6, he didn't get one birthday invitation for the whole school year. It is mostly about numbers as skeletonbones points out but please consider yourself lucky your ds gets some invitations! My heart used to break for ds1!