Internal Exclusion Room - is this a normal term/punishment in primary schools in the UK?

[Bananaforscale1]

Our junior school has recently started using this and it's making me feel uncomfortable.

The secondary school uses this term and they're under the same academy trust, so looks like they want to use the same language/terms across the board.

Does anyone else feel uncomfortable about 7-11 year olds being sent to an exclusion room?

Because it isn't just sent to the head's office, that should happen for the talking through with the child and then the child and parents for expected behaviour going forwards.

In my sons' primary they had specific empty rooms where a member of SLT could bring in a laptop to work whilst the excluded child also had work set. Do you know how many things they get to look at in a member of staff's office? Photos on the desk, memos on the noticeboard etc, all things they can read and distract themselves with. There are empty rooms as they are used to calm children down, children who explode in class.

I think anyone who hasn't been inside a primary for the last 10 years will be shocked at the sheer amount of aggressive behaviour toward staff. Think finger breaking, hitting, kicking, spitting, licking (they love that when they know teachers react to it) and onto desk tipping, chair throwing behaviour that goes on, and that was in an outstanding, lovely primary. It is everywhere. They have special teams in primaries called SEMH (Social, Emotional and Mental Health) and they are taught to physically remove unwilling children from classes so that actual teaching can take place. Children in the class get so used to it they don't even tell their parents so you don't know it even happened.

@Bananaforscale1 you may not like the language but your child is lucky they were not strangled unconscious, I don't think you understand the severity of what your son's friend did. They are "excluded" internally rather than being sent home for a few days because children can see that as a reward for that behaviour, play on xbox all day, watch youtube etc. Remember that missing 5 minutes of your break in primary massively escalates in secondary for the same behaviour.

Year 5?
He's lucky the police aren't involved.
And you don't like the words "internal exclusion room" but don't have an issue with "strangling"...yet then refer to the violence as "rough play".

Your priorities are fucked up.

I think you need to take a firmer line that what happened was unacceptable. Yes they might have been playing but your ds needs to understand how serious doing something violent without consent is. What if he did that next playtime to his friend but just a little harder and he passed out? What if he learns that just because someone says no it doesn't always mean no and you should still be friends? Fair enough don't stop the friendship but do be clear that that behaviour is always unacceptable and the importance of consent.

Quite. Is your child honestly the one who was assaulted, not the attacker?

Thanks for everyone's replies and experiences, particularly when they've stuck to the actual question and topic, ie what an internal Exclusion Room is called in their primary school.

I do not have "fucked up priorities". It is entirely possible for me to have spoken with school and my child, spoken with the others child's family, know that it's dangerous and have reassured my child and spoken with him about what to do if it happens again.

Two things can exist at the same time you know! I have been working with children and families for a long time. I have teenagers. I do know everyone needs to learn consequences for negative, dangerous and/or unacceptable behaviour. I do know schools are in crisis. I do not believe that trying to help parents see that "all behaviour is communication" has escalated violent behaviour though...!

In a rush now but thanks again to those who helped re language around exclusion time.

As a comparison, my child is in year 4 and we had two similar incidents of attempted strangling from a peer. The first didn’t seem to lead to much but the second led to a firmer response and we were told the child would be suspended for a day if there was a repeat (there hasn’t been). I would have preferred the child to have been suspended after the second incident in view of it being strangling - it felt to me as though this was lumped in with “rough play”, whereas to me, strangling is in a different league from wrestling/punching/kicking/shoving and that needs to be made crystal clear before they’re strong enough to cause lasting damage.

But I’m not aware of an internal exclusion-style punishment being used. I know our school will do that for disruptive behaviour (while, I would like to think, trying to address the underlying issue of why the child is unable to be with their peers safely/without disrupting the lesson).

I do not believe that trying to help parents see that "all behaviour is communication" has escalated violent behaviour though...!

It's created a culture of excusing behaviour by desperately searching for any reason that could be behind it, whether that reason is actually true and valid or not. Some poor behaviour choices are just poor behaviour choices. Some children and adults do the wrong thing simply because they want to or because it will lead to something else they want. There isn't always something deeper being communicated.

I think that the word exclusion is perfect in this context and demonstrates to the children that violent behaviour will result in their exclusion from society. It is very cruel not to come down like a ton of bricks on violent behaviour.

And I've been teaching for 29 and counting. We have zero tolerance regarding violence so
we don't call ours an exclusion room. Especially by the time they get to yr5. We call it 1. The HT 2. Exclusion 3. The police.
For an incident as serious as the one described, if the violent child was 10 we'd inform the police. And encourage their parents to do so as well.
Hopefully that's what's happening with your school.

It seems a very mild consequence for trying to strangle another DC. I think internal exclusions are entirely warranted for such appalling behaviour from a DC. Isolating them stops them from escalation too. It is also likely recorded on their permanent school record.

You are being a bit ridiculous. What matters is what the process involves and achieves, not what it's called. Calling it a warmer, fluffier name won't make any difference, because the children will all know what happens anyway. You are attributing a much more loaded meaning to the word than primary school children will. The child is being excluded from lessons (for good reason). Calling it something else won't change that.

@caringcarer - yes I meant that the OP should have taken issue with the fact that her DC was strangled rather than the name given to the punishment consequence (not allowed to use the word punishment anymore!)

I have done both. Calmly and respectfully.

And how did your child take this? As above 'yes darling I know Timmy strangled you, but do you know they placed him in exclusion! How awful for him! You really need to think of others!'
What would you expect if you were assaulted op? Everyone to be careful about the language they used about them to not upset them?

My daughter who is 9, was strangled by a 10 year old boy who was ‘protecting his sister’ because someone went around with a false rumour that my daughter said something when she didn’t. He pushed her against the door then strangled her. She’s suffering temporary symptoms, we went to A&E, she’s had follow ups etc. I have had a meeting with the head and senco, I actually work in the same school. I am very anxious about him being around her. My husband is adamant we report to the police as assault. Social services have called me and investigating as it was flagged up ambulance services and hospital. He spent the afternoon with the head, had play/lunch ban for 1.5 days. Slightly overwhelmed with the whole situation and not sure about reporting it. It males think what will he do again to protect his sister

That sounds terrible @Gul3887. Your poor daughter. I agree with your husband, definitely report to the police.

yr5 are not that young as to not know about strangling someone
so what if the kids are all 'lovely' your child could have been seriously hurt

Absolutely!

Also, I am very happy for schools to have firm boundaries and not pussyfoot around when it comes to disciplining children who break them (not having a go at schools here- they’re in between a rock and a hard place where they’re expected to tolerate awful, awful behaviour from both parents and children). Why are we so afraid to speak in plain, honest language about discipline and punishment in schools?

I know the child and family and they are all lovely.

OP is there something about this family that you admire or aspire to be like? Because I’m really struggling to understand why you would describe a child who choked your child as “lovely”. Hell would freeze over before I would describe a kid that did that to my child as ‘lovely’. You need to take the blinkers off and focus on advocating for your child.

It's a bit of an over the top name for something that has happened quite naturally for years and years in primary schools (I don't agree with the way secondaries have gone isolation room bonkers incidentally). In my kids' school it's called "he had to go and sit on THE STAIRS" as the Head's office is up in the attic of a very old Victorian building so they have to sit on the stairs leading up there.