Putting DS in school for 3 months

[MissionaryMumtoOne]

Hi all,

We live and work over seas, but in less than 2 weeks we are coming over for 3 months furlough to the UK to stay with my parents and visit family and friends. I have a DS who is 5.5 in the reception/kindergarten equivalent in the country we live - in the language of the country, so he is bilingual (I speak English at home). He loves his school and loves routine, and loves to play with other children, he is quite hard to keep entertained and stimulated at home. In the country we live in, he spends most of his time playing outside with other children after school.

We are preparing him for the move, and he has become very upset at “leaving his school” and not going to school. He has asked if he can go to school on England. My original plan was not to enroll him into a school as we are only home for 3 months, and part of that will be the Easter holidays for 2 weeks, and another week we are going away in the UK with my parents, and there maybe the odd couple days we will travel to speak at other churches and organizations around the country, and I don’t have a set schedule for these yet. So we were originally planning to treat it as a long holiday for him, with as much home education as we could do for him.

But now it’s got me thinking - and DH and my parents are also quite keen for the idea - that maybe it would be a good experience for him to spend some time in a British school. As I mentioned before he has very high stimulation needs, very lively and very chatty and into everything, and gets bored very easily staying at home, doesn’t watch tv etc as we don’t have one in Brazil, and my parents are great and obviously are desperate to spend time with him, but they are getting older and don’t have it in them to keep up with him the whole day - I’m thinking they would appreciate the few hours break. I also am thinking it would be good for his language - he is bilingual, but his other language is actually stronger, because I am the only one who speaks to him directly in English (and family members on video calls) as DH is from the country we live and he is surrounded by the other language, so I’m thinking English school and playing with English children might strengthen his vocabulary and grammar a bit. I’m also thinking that one term at school might give him more stimulation and activities than I could give him at home at my parents house - and his behaviour is often difficult when he has no routine or is bored. DH is only coming for half of out time, so for 6 weeks I’ll be juggling DS and DD myself.

However, I’m also mindful that we are only going to be in the UK for 3 months before we go back - and our main purpose was to spend time with family and friends and for me and DH to rest and have a break. It just seems madness to put him in school for what would be less than 3 months because of the Easter holidays and our week away with parents, where he would (hopefully) settle, have fun, make friends, and then have to leave again - would this be more unsettling and disturbing for him?. Also, I’m also quite worried about the academics side - he is summer born so would actually be in year 1, which I heard is quite academic rather than play based like reception and nursery, and in brazil he hasn’t started formal school just yet as they start at aged 6 - so he is in the kindergarten, and while he starting to read and form letters, and worried he would be quite a bit behind other children in the class.

I’m in a bit of dilemma- but I need to make a decision soon as I will need to make a school application if I’m going to go for it.

I have a toddler DD who I will keep at home and take to toddler groups and meet with other mums and small ones from the church to socialise and keep her stimulated , but worry that these would be far too boring for a 5.5 year old, and all the other children his age would be in school!

(ignore the user name that says mum of one! I made this account before DD was born, I’ve been using Mumsnet for a while)

WWYD?

When my kids were at primary school, there was a child who came over from France for the summer term every year - his dad was a dentist and did locum for another dentist at his brother’s practice for 3 months every year. But this was nearly 30 years ago and before the class size restrictions came in. If your child is in Y1 you may have trouble finding a school that will accept him if they already have 30 in the class.

You might be able to if it’s a small school but if it’s full then I think you’d struggle. Also I’m not sure if you’d need proof of British address to enrol him

I'm assuming your DC has the right to live in the UK and therefore can access state school? In which case 3 months is the minimum I think they would agree to giving a school place for a minimum visit. But in general, yes I think it's a great idea for all the reasons you mention but I would definitely ask for a Reception place for a term, not year 1. No harm in asking the school, but will be much easier for your child than being plonked in year 1 where they will be preparing the kids for year 2.
Depending on where you are and funds, it is very very normal to ask for a term at an independent school, where you would also have more say about which year group they go in to. If the school has space they are very likely to allow a term's placement for language purposes etc and you also then won't face problems if they leave for a week to go away in the term, where as in a state school you could be theoretically fined for being absent for a week in term time... I've worked in a number of holiday clubs in independent schools where we have children come for a week or two to cement their English while their parents are visiting family in the UK and the kids always settle in quickly and it does wonders for their language.

You might want to check this out to see if your child fits the criteria...

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/schools-admissions-applications-from-overseas-children

It would certainly be an experience for him, but it might take alot longer than you think to access a place depending on the catchments in your area.

I would look at activities like Scouts (would have to be a squirrals area) and Football teams too

In our area room is always made for the children of travellers so, in your circumstances, I would ask the council in the area in which you will be staying.

Is there a Steiner type school locally or an Independent International school? You would have to pay for these options

I'm not sure how keen the school would be. It would be a lot of effort getting him settled and up to speed with the learning, only for him to leave again so soon. Also if he is enrolled, he has to attend every day. You would possibly get fined for the holiday, especially if you take other days off. In addition, admissions may take a while, decreasing the time he will actually be there, although this will he quicker if there are places available.

On balance, I wouldn't, as I don't think it's ideal for the school given that you are on holiday basically.

If you can afford it, I'd look at Easter holiday clubs.

I would look for local home educator groups and sign up for activities with home ed kids.

If you're coming in less than 2 weeks then it's possibly too late. If he's eligible for a school place it could take weeks to sort, especially with the Easter holidays. It sounds like a lovely idea, but by the time everything is sorted the time spent in school could easily be as little as a few weeks.

If I were in your position, I would look at Easter holiday clubs and home education groups.

What about a forest school? They usually take children up to primary, it is paid for though

Please don’t. What you’re describing would be so disruptive to the school and the children in it.
State education is not free childcare.
Easter holiday clubs and forest schools would be much better ideas.

Hi, just wanted to clarify - my DS is British citizen, and our address is actually my house (in my name) where my parents live.

thank you so much for responses! I’m working through the info you have given me now.

I think he would struggle to adjust to a yr1 classroom, most school aren't set up for bright busy children anymore.
Introduce yourself to you local home Ed groups, look for forest schools . Hopefully you find him loads to keep him engaged and socialised.

Hi Smartie Pants, thanks for you response. Please don’t think I’m on my looking for free childcare - I will not be working so don’t need the “childcare” as such, I was thinking about the educational, language and social and stimulation benefits. I also don’t want to disrupt school - my sister is a primary school teacher and she seemed to think it was a good idea, so it didn’t occur to me that it would disrupt the teachers and class, and not my intention.

i can’t find a Forrest school in the vicinity of where we will be, but definitely will look into a lm Easter holiday club of the school idea doesn’t seem worth it, or can’t happen. Thank you.

We would be happy to pay for an independent provision or Forrest school, my parents could support us with this, but sadly I can’t see from the internet any a Forrest schools nearby us 😞

A private school would probably take him.

I did this as a child, although older than your son, went to school overseas for a term while staying with relatives. It was a good experience. But weird too making friends when you knew you'd be gone soon etc.

I'd have thought though, that while you're here it would be good to take advantage of being able to go to museums and attractions during the school term when they're quieter and you can get round and see more.

I have experience of putting kids in school
for short periods of time and i honestly wouldn’t.

Not at this age for this period of time.

That’s a bit of a rude response!

The school won’t get funding for your child. The application process will probably take a couple of weeks and there is Easter half term to consider. It may take
the teacher time within the lessons to help your child to settle in and adjust to a different school system and then he will be separated again from his newly formed friends. You know your child best and will know if this level of disruption will be worth it for 7 weeks in school.

Would a childminder work? For a couple of days a week to provide him that access to play with other children and routine?

I'd send him to school, he'll have a great experience I'd imagine. Be aware you'll need to enrol him well in advance and there may not be a place in your catchment school but ask around.

I wouldn't send him. For a start you are unlikely to get a place - or if you do it could be a random school that takes an hour to get there.
I would look at Home Educating groups you can join.
You can find activities for Home Ed children in all sorts of places. For example Game Cafes often have a daytime session especially for Home Ed children. It's more of a social get together and having fun - but also educational as everything is educational at that age.

School isn't childcare.

I wouldn't. If you're going to do it you'd need to commit to him being there every single possible school day for this visit otherwise you're messing the potential school around even more (and your DS who will then miss lessons and need help catching up with what's missed).

Surely it's better for you to make the best possible use of your time here to see people and you can do your own educational visits if he needs something to keep his brain busy. You could give your DS a project to do (Romans for example) and back it up with visits to relevant places like museums and he could create a project book on it.