Parent complaints

[Hihosilver123]

It’s a fact that parental complaints have significantly increased since COVID. Headteachers are being shouted at regularly and parents are making more formal complaints. I’ve experienced this and am increasingly fed up, as well as nervous, as the smallest, everyday issue can lead to a torrent of complaint from some parents. Obviously there are times when a school does something seriously wrong and needs to be held to account but, if you’re a parent, please think about how you approach a school. A calm, rational discussion is far more productive than a torrent of abuse and threats. There’ll be no headteachers left in the profession if this continues.

Most school staff develop a thick skin. When there is a ridiculous complaint they patiently listen to what a parent has to say, showing no emotion and nodding their head now and again, while inwardly rolling their eyes and feeling annoyed that their precious time is being wasted listening to crap. Then at the end they say “Thankyou for your feedback. I’m sorry you don’t agree with the way we do x/y/z or how I arranged a/b/c. We arrange everything we do with careful consideration from all angles, taking into account what’s best for the children with the resources that we have. We are unable to put your suggestion into place at this time in the circumstances we operate under but will keep your feedback on record to help us inform future planning if circumstances change. Thankyou very much for your opinion.”

blah blah blah.

of course, totally different approach if the parent DOES have a basis for their complaint, however minor.

and again if the parent has a ridiculous complain y about something that is actually their fault. Eg they are always late but complain about the caretaker “closing the gate in my face”. Or the school has “lost another brand new school jumper” which looks identical to 100 others and which the parent did not bother to write the child’s name in. And whose child is CONSTANTLY leaving their jumper in the hall or playground despite daily reminders from the teacher, because they are used to mummy doing all their fetching and carrying at home for them rather than taking the time to foster their independence skills.

It’s hard because most school staff naturally care so much about the service they’re providing kids and their families. With that can come the danger of bending over backwards to appease parents, on ANY matter, especially if the school has a falling roll, have failed an Ofsted etc or has one coming up and parental survey needs to be good.

The other issue is that, from personal experience, I don’t think that parents have any clue about the circumstances schools are operating under and how hard staff work, until they’ve worked in one themselves. I cringe at the memory of what I said or did when my own kids were little and in primary, now I work in one and have seen the other side. Noting major, just getting involved in a couple of times in trivial matters, or even just assuming that teachers had more time than they did to talk to me.

Agree - the lost (unmarked) uniform is an endless issue! Sometimes parents say it’s been ‘stolen’ 🙄

You make an interesting point. I always remind myself that parents don’t understand day to day life in a school, as they’re shouting at me because their child fell over/wasn’t chosen for the team/got told off etc. sometimes it’s hard though! Worth remembering that most parents are sensible and reasonable though, and those that aren’t probably have other baggage and were just the punch bag.

Having a Parental Behaviour Policiy might help. If your school doesn't have one, raise with Head or Chair of Governors.

Oops Policy not Policiy

I feel for the teachers at my dcs' secondary. We've had letters home about parents being intimidating or threatening. Horrendous and they shouldn't have to put up with it.

Just to add, when ofsted come in I get the impression that parents come forward with very positive feedback about the school. It probably comes as a pleasant surprise as they probably don't hear from the positive parents the rest of the time but just endless complaints, so it probably feels like that's what everyone is thinking.

Where I was a governor 10 years ago we had a school visitor policy!!! That included parents. Parents had to make appointments to see the head. Children were let out of school and parents were not in the school. My own schools did this. Parents who ranted at appointments were tolerated and calming down methods were used - plus two adults from the school were present. Start to educate the parents from day 1. Set boundaries and keep to them.

We also had a parent forum with the head. When in a room with others they did seem to control their tempers. However sending out the message that pupils have responsibility for their clothes and that teachers and the head will only engage via appointments sets a tone. Some won’t like it but it’s necessary.