How to convince DP not to wait for 11+ and try 8+/9+?

[Lily7050]

My DS is in YR at a non-academic prep. He is good at math and interested in music, but not very keen on reading himself (prefers that I read to him) and writing. He is summer born and his attention span is 20-30 minutes at the moment. I think 7+ will be too much for him but he might be able to sit 8+. I understand the choice of schools is limited at 8+ but a lot of parents complain how brutal is 11+. My DP wants to keep DS in the current prep until 11+ because of friendships. So far my DS has been mentioning one boy only from his Reception class as his friend. Do you think it is worth to avoid trying 8+/9+ because of friendships?
My DP is English but he has not done 11+ exams himself.
Would the current school treat my DS badly if he does not get place at 8+ and returns back?
I am after the reasons to convince DP to try 8+.
PS. I am the one who pay for the school, and will pay tutors/do tutoring at home.

I think you are best off waiting and seeing how it goes. I have an August born DS. He is in top sets now in Y9 and doing well academically. He wouldn't have been ready for a selective test any earlier than 11+ though. Why don't you just wait and see if your DS is actually ready to sit for 8+ at the time you have to register, rather then cause arguments about it now.

@Lily7050 , you don't need to make a decision for at least another year. I'm glad to hear your ds has settled at his school.

11+ entry aligns with traditional maintained primary exits. Added competition and more involved testing.

In terms of friend groups I would I invest more in the 8-18 rather than 5-11. Consider adding occasional place applications for schools you missed that only did the 7+. DS is still friends with pre-prep peers, the school change didn't disrupt that at all.

I'm quite sure your school is used to people looking elsewhere and not taking offers. Don't let this stop you.

The only reason I wouldn't do the 8+ in your case is if the commute was worse. In that case I would wait.

Do you think it is worth to avoid trying 8+/9+ because of friendships?
No, that should not be a major reason. Friendships are quite fleeting at that age, and you can still do playdates if you wish with his current friends.

My DP is English but he has not done 11+ exams himself.
11+ from ten years ago is not the same level of competition as 11+ now! It's quite brutal and difficult these days.

Would the current school treat my DS badly if he does not get place at 8+ and returns back?
No, this should not happen at all.

Not sure about your location, friend’s son did 7+, didn’t get in but feedback. Try 2 school places 8+, no luck but again feedback. Did 10+, got offers into 2 schools, one super selective and other selective. Her DC did really well and parents used the process to check for knowledge gaps and helping DC.

Why do you pay for private school AND tutoring?

probably because private school does not prepare well enough.

@Lily7050

Prepare for what?