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Shyness or something else

4 replies

Catsandcuddles · 16/02/2024 14:05

I'll start my saying my son has a small friendship group at school, he seems particularly close to 3 other boys who he mentions all the time (they all went to the same nursery) and he's now started to mention 1 other boy very recently who he didn't know before school.

The thing is, whenever I'm with him at school drop off and pick up, lots of other children in his class will come up and try to talk to him, say hi etc and my son just blanks them and ignores them. I encourage him to atleast say hi, but he just freezes and won't say anything.back to them. I don't know if he's just shy when I'm around, or if he just doesn't mix and talk much outside of his little group!

My husband has noticed it too when he drops him off and he's concerned he isn't mixing, although I'm.more relaxed about it as he has only just turned 5.

He also acts like this with his close friends at school if we see them oitside of school. For example we saw one of his close friends at the park recently and he was very reluctant to go and play with him. After some encouragement he went and started playing, and then he was absolutely fine and had lots of fun.

Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this with their child. Was it just an element of shyness ? My son has started to ask for play dates very recently, but I'd hate to organise one if he didn't tLk to them when they turn up

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
LightSwerve · 16/02/2024 14:09

Almost certainly just normal young age. Don't refer to it or draw attention to it, keep modelling good behaviour.

Have a play date, you can set up the first activity and help get things started.

SamPoodle123 · 16/02/2024 15:47

Yes, my dd and youngest dd do this. The children would be calling out their name, running up to say hi all sweet and excited.....while my dc would just blank them. I knew they were probably shy, so just overcompensated by responding back on their behalf with a big smile and some friendly words....so the other dc probably did not notice and eventually my eldest outgrew and my youngest is starting to outgrow.

Coronateachingagain · 17/02/2024 21:39

Ask the teacher about his/her général observations?

BendingSpoons · 17/02/2024 21:43

My DS is the same age. He doesn't really engage with his friends before school and doesn't really know how to just chat. He is fine at a playdate when there is a focus on toys and they can chat about that. I would try some playdates and see how he goes. Even if it takes him a while to warm up, the other child will probably be fine if they have something to play with.

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