Pick and drop

[Atiyyah]

Hi everyone,

So I have a situation,
I have a neighbour who´s daughter goes to the same crèche as my daughter she asked if I could help to take her with me I agreed. I thought it would be occasional help not everyday since September. I drop her off and collect her. I have been thinking to ask for payment. I don´t know how to ask as I feel embarrassed to ask.
Please help

Yeah that’s cheeky of her. Is there any reason why she can’t take or collect her child?

what if you have plans or your child is sick?

She has her partner he just sleeps when mine doesn't go he then takes his child

Every day since September that is bananas!

I would do it by message. I would write ‘hi x, you know I love <child’s name> and I’m glad I’ve been able to help you out since September but it’s been more of a commitment than I realised. Are you willing to contribute some finances by any chance? I was thinking X per week. Let me know what you think.

If she says no, or ignores it or whatever, message again. ‘Hey x il sorry but I’m really busy with a lot on so I won’t be able to drop off your child from next week. Take care…

This person is actually a total pisstaker and unless they cough up, step away (politely). People pay a lot for this service!

Omg thnx u so much for the reply I'm gana text her now n will keep u updated

She hasn't even opened my text

I bet it popped up on her screen and she's not opening it because she doesn't want you to know she's opened it, if you get what I mean.

Give her a few days I'd say, maybe finances are tight and she will need to move things around.

Being the pisstaker though, she is the one who needs to solve that problem or offer you a different amount.

But I would be ready maybe next week to give her a bit of notice that the arrangement is coming to an end. And then hold firm on the day you say the arrangement will end, just don't pick up the child. Maybe let the setting know directly you won't be collecting the little one any more so there's absolutely no confusion their end. (Ultimately it's not the little one's fault so you don't want them getting stressed or worried or confuse about who is coming for them).

You may/will probably lose the friendship but let's be clear - it wasn't a friendship in the first place, you were a badly treated unpaid employee!

Hi first of all thank you for your help and support. We didn't want to give you that much trouble, but with baby it became challenging for both of us. I would love to contribute. Thank you once again for everything.
This is what she said lastnight sorry I didn't post.
I saw her in the morning she didn't mention anything.
But they both went to collect there daughter from creche.
I said to her husband I didn't want to ask for payment but u guys didn't even offer or say.
I said if u can't pay fine I can mornings as I am already going there but u can pick ur daughter.

Well done! Her reply was gracious too. I hope it works out.

What, what?!
She said they'd "love to" contribute but now you've said they don't need to in the mornings as you're going anyway?

Well yesterday I spoke to both of them, they said baby is keeping them awake at night and that they need help. Both didn't mention they will pay me or how much. He will collect his own.
From Monday I won't take her daughter bcuz thy just think thy can carry on taking advantage of me.
Making me a fool basically.

Exactly. They should be making this right by making a financial offer. I wouldn’t help anymore either.

I was thinking to ring or text her n say I can't take ur daughter.
But then no I'm not bcuz they don't want to talk about it nor will I then.
I have 3 kids of my own that drive me crazy in the mornings ontop of that I have there daughters responsibility.
Imagine something happens if I get into a accident the guilt I would have.
I honestly tried few weeks ago to distance myself by saying my child has a appointment and once I have to shopping thy managed to collect there own they didn't get the hint.
My husband is pissed saying just say do urself.
But don't want to sound rude.

You don't want to sound rude? But THEY are being rude.

Ok so just be super polite then. How about 'Hi X, it sounds like you and Y have been having a hard time at the moment. It's been lovely spending time with (child's name) and s/he is so sweet and adorable. However, I really have way too much on to help out with drop offs and pick ups. I won't be able to do any in future. I wish you guys all the best, take care'.

It's not rude, it's polite, but it is still telling them they need to sort out their own drop offs and pick ups. And definitely let the childcare setting know as you don't want their little child getting mixed messages or confused as it's definitely not your fault.

Yes I will have to make myself more clear I will text her tomorrow afternoon this is really frustrating.
Thank you so much for ur help ladies will keep u updated

That's madness. I can't believe this has been going on since September.

Update *
I didnt take there child today n told them I won't from now on, saw the dad n he ignored me.
How rude well they have showed there real face

Maybe he’s embarrassed but that is pretty poor form given you helped them out so substantially for months.

I would try and assume he’s embarrassed (he should be) as otherwise it’ll just piss you off every time you see him/them!

Still at least you’re out of it now. And you will form better parent friends (where it is give and take, not take take take) I am sure.