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Should I just let this go, or write to the head about it?

29 replies

saltire · 21/03/2008 16:22

2 things. First off, I wrote DS2's teacher a letter on Friday to say could he get out at 12.00 clock as he had a dentist appt. This is when the class get their lunch, so he wouldn't have to leave class early. Anyway, DH wnet up for him at 12, and it was 12.15 when Ds2 appeared, they were all kept in as one child had been crying becasue he got told off, and they were kept in until he stopped. So Ds2 was late for his appointment

Secondly, Ds2 has been struggling with his amths, so Dh ahd been giving him ones ot do at home in this format

12
+36
and then the answer written underneath. Ds2 was doing it this way at school, but the teacher (a different one from the one mnetioned above) said it was wrong and marked them all wrong even though the answers were right, and told Ds2 to tell his dad that "I'm the teacher, not him"

Both these have really annoyed both of us, but wonder would I be overreacting if I wrote tot eh head/or class teacher

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Whizzz · 21/03/2008 16:24

I wouldn't write, I'd go in & have a chat - much more friendly & less confrontational.

Psychomum5 · 21/03/2008 16:26

bang out of order regarding the appointment.......so not on!!! on your behalf for that.

as for the maths issue.........tis the teacher me thinks with a bad attitude, but not sure where I would go. I think, personally, that I would approach the teacher first, explaining that surely seeing all types of methods for solving sums is a good thing, and if the answers are correct, then he should never ever mark them wrong. So NOT a good message to teach to children.

maybe if it continues, then go to the head, but not until he has a chnace to explain his teaching methods in some way.

mylovelymonster · 21/03/2008 16:30

I would write & complain. DD too young to have experience of this yet, but

  1. out of order keeping DS2 from his appt
  2. learning sums very valuable - if he's learning a different method at home than at school (how different can it be? It's adding, fgs) then what's the deal? Marking wrong when they are right is ridiculous and not a good example for DS2, and very disheartening for him, I would have thought.

Teacher sounds like a knob with a well advanced inferiority complex.
Does this go on a lot? Generally?

FranSanDisco · 21/03/2008 16:32

So the teacher forgot the appointment because she was dealing with the class disruption. Understandable though annoying. As for the maths I think as parents we need to undersand they are taught differently now and to teach things our way will confuse the child even if we think it makes more sense. I wouldn't complain over these 2 issues.

FranSanDisco · 21/03/2008 16:34

Forgot to say showing the working out is important so the teacher knows they understood. It was the same when I did O Levels in the days before calculators were allowed.

mrz · 21/03/2008 16:57

It seems that something unforeseen happened that delayed the teacher unfortunate but unavoidable. Was there someone else available in the class to care for the other child or to bring your son to be collected?
What year is your son in? as it makes a difference to how schools are expected to approach maths. Sounds stupid but schools are told from above that all children should be shown a standard method. Perhaps you could approach the teacher and say you would like to support your child at home but unsure of the format to use and can they help. It's a bit drastic marking all the work wrong for adopting a different method of recording work.

Cammelia · 21/03/2008 17:02

I would have gone into the school to collect at the time agreed.

Complaint re the maths? No.

cat64 · 21/03/2008 17:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

cazzybabs · 21/03/2008 17:17

agree with cat64

SlartyBartFastlaidanEgg · 21/03/2008 17:26

i did the same, re maths.
asked teacher.
still did not understand their way {blush}

a bit later they change the ways of doing it to "my" way.

would not write though.

mylovelymonster · 21/03/2008 17:41

hmmmmmm...think I may have to look at the home ed threads............

prettybird · 21/03/2008 17:48

You've been having problems generally with this school haven't Saltire? Wasn't your ds1 also having problems?

Is it the right shcool for yuor boys? I know they have already been disprupted by mving dwon from Scotland, so you won't really want to consdier moving them if you can avoid it.

Is it worth gettign more closely involved with the school, so that you can understadn better how it "works"?

prettybird · 21/03/2008 17:48

You've been having problems generally with this school haven't Saltire? Wasn't your ds1 also having problems?

Is it the right shcool for yuor boys? I know they have already been disprupted by mving dwon from Scotland, so you won't really want to consdier moving them if you can avoid it.

Is it worth gettign more closely involved with the school, so that you can understadn better how it "works"?

saltire · 21/03/2008 18:50

DH did go into the school and collect him - they don't let them out unless parent goes in. She wouldn't let the whole class out becasue a child was crying becasue she told him off. The whole class had to sit there until the boy stopped crying. DH had to sit in reception and wait, he wasn't allowed to classroom

OP posts:
hercules1 · 21/03/2008 19:01

Saltire , I'm a teacher and I would have real concerns if my child was in a class being taught by that teacher. WHat an appalling humiliating, stay with you for life moment for that crying child. Absolutely appalled.

kittywise · 21/03/2008 19:12

That's disgusting, what a hideous thing for that teacher to do to the child. Can you mention it to the child's parent? They really should know.
As far as your child is concerned, I would go to the head.

wheresthehamster · 21/03/2008 19:20

Is this primary? The secretary/receptionist should go and get the child.

I expect there was more to it than a crying child but if not IT WAS OUT OF ORDER!!

ScienceTeacher · 21/03/2008 19:31

Wouldn't follow-up the appointment thing - it was a one-off. If it were to happen in future, I would ask again after five minutes and look generally impatient.

As for the maths thing - I would approach the teacher via the school diary, rather than go to the top.

MicrowaveOnly · 21/03/2008 19:40

It is really frustrating for teachers when parents help their vchildren too much with homework.

I had a child who gave in top mark homwworks but kept failing her tests. I brought it up at parents evening and the mother blushingly told me he had been helping all term.

The teacher won't be able to help the child if they don't know what they indertsand. And in this case it would be v. annoying to have one child raught differently to the other 29!!

Janni · 21/03/2008 19:54

I am at a teacher telling a pupil to 'tell your dad I'm the teacher, not him'. Sure, it's frustrating for teachers if parents do not help in the way teachers would like, but far better, surely, than parents who couldn't care less? It also really undermines a parent in the eyes of their child, which cannot be good. I do think it needs addressing, but as others have said, it needs to be said directly to the teachers first, as you've laid it out here. The maths one would be the one I would be more bothered about as it's quite personal.

juuule · 21/03/2008 22:07

I agree with everything Janni said.
I would go and see the teacher first. Surely it's wrong to mark the work wrong if it's plain to see how it was done and the answers were correct. When I've asked about this at our school the teacher said that whichever way the child finds easiest is the best way for them to do it but that it's good for the child to be aware of the different ways of doing things.

WallOfSilence · 21/03/2008 22:18

Feck them.

Go in & have a word.

How dare a teacher be so up their own arse & presumptious to say "Tell your dad I am the teacher & not him" Who does the teacher think he/she is??

If the answers were correct then I would deffo go in & complain.

My niece was set math homework a few weeks ago that was really difficult. My dad didn't know how to do it & he is a math genius. Dh had A-level math & couldn't do it....

I asked niece is she had been shown at school how to do it & she said no. I said she must have been, in order to get it for homework. She said they weren't shown it.

My sister wrote a note to the teacher apologising that her dd hadn't her mat done as she found it difficult.... instead of the bitch of a teacher letting niece see the answers/correct what she had managed of the homework the teacher said in front of the whole class: "Obviously Annie, this work is mush too difficult for you, even though the rest of your classmates managed it.... " She then made niece sit in the corner & read a book instead of help her to understand the math

My sis has an appointment this week over this incident..... some teachers think they have a nit of power & it overtakes them... IMHO.... JUST MY OPINION though!!

Obviiously there are some fantastic teachers out there, but like in every profession there are ones who are totally crap.

WallOfSilence · 21/03/2008 22:19
clam · 22/03/2008 17:52

You could always pop in for a word about the method they're using in school so you can support at home, and make sure you drop into the conversation "you're the teacher, not me," at some point.

Flight · 22/03/2008 17:56

Salty this made my blood run cold...I had forgotten having that done to me, the marking it all wrong because i had written it a different way, despite it being correct...chilling and bullying behaviour by the teacher imo.

As for making a child stop crying before anyone was allowed to go, well it's sadistic isn;t it? I would be taking him out. So sorry you've got to deal with this sort of shitty teaching.