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[UpForAir]

I'm a regular who's name changed.

I need to talk on here, as DH seems unconcerned,("It'll blow over") but we don't really want people in RL to know about this.

Ds (9)excluded form school for one day for hitting a girl.

I feel so ashamed that DH and I are the parents of a child who could be violent. At the same time furious that the school seem oblivious to the fact that he was teased, and has been attacked twice last week by a boy in his class.- one of the atacks resulted in his hand being badly swollen for 3/4 days.

I've obviously talked to DS about this,and how unaceptable hitting is, but's he's having a fine time reading books in his room, and extreamly happy to have a day at home.

The point of exclision is temporarily eluding me.

Thanks for recommending that book. It sounds good - I shall be haing a look at it.

The school did call a meeting for some of the parents in the class to discuss the children's agressive and immature behaviour. It turned out DH and I are the only ones teaching our child to walk away. For cultural reasons the other parents are teaching their children to defend themselves against verbal and physical abuse, and DS seems to have been caught up in this mentality.

In his last school DS was involved in several fights, unbeknown to the staff. Atleast in this school the staff are aware of what is going on.

It's going to be hard when everyone else isn't doing the same. I recommended the book to my ds's teacher so that he knew what I was doing at home and he could do the same at school so there's consistence. You could try this. Is the class teacher approachable? There's probably a tactful way of approaching the topic with her but I'm not a tacktful person so I wouldn't know. If the head's not supporting her I'm not surprised she's going to extreme measures. Have a flick through the book if you can get hold of one and let her borrow it. It's never easy is it?

Perhaps you might find some information here www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Schoolslearninganddevelopment/YourChildsWelfareAtSchool/DG_4016112 exclusions are usually a "last resort" sanction.

mrz, I was looking at that very link today, and added it to my favourites to show DH!

I think the biggest problem is piecing togeter what is actually going on in school form the little bits I'm getting from DS, and the(sometimes) third hand info over the phone from the teachers.

Thanks for talking to me,avenanap, & everybody!

You're welcome. You can tell from the way he's behaving that there are major problems. Follow your instinct. I hope it all works out for him. Let me know how things go.