Sensitive child prone to being bullied - what do I do?

[alexandre]

DD is starting to get bullied at school (age 8) whereas previously she was quite popular and had no difficulties. It started with one child making unkind reminds which really upset her and escalated rapidly until she felt physically ill, couldn't sleep, cried a lot and made any excuse to get out of school. When I found out I told the headmaster who dealt with it by speaking to both children and separating them in class and that situation seems to have resolved itself.

But this week another incident occurred which has again really upset DD. Some children in the year below grabbed hold of her in the changing rooms (she was the only one there from her year), held her hands behind her back and pulled some knickers which had been lying around, over her head. They then shut the door, held it closed from the outside and switched off the light.

I guess other kids would have tried to fight off their attackers (she describes it as "being attacked") or see the funny side but she can't. She is just completely traumatised and humiliated and has tried every trick in the book to get out of school today and yesterday. I'm glad she has told me what happened but I'm not sure how to handle it.

I'm sure these incidents are commonplace and just children having a laugh but what do you do when the "victim" is badly affected because their character is different to other children?

I haven't mentioned it to the school and dragged DD there this morning. Can anyone offer me any advice as I fear these sorts of incidents are going to escalate now that she is seen as a soft target?

That is completely unacceptable behaviour!!

I would go straight to the head and tell him what has happened.

Your DD needs to know you are doing everything in your power to protect her or she will just feel that you think it is ok for her to be treated like this.

I'm saying this from the position of a parent with a similar DD who has suffered bullying. So I'm probably not the best person to give advice, there are lots of sensible mothers on here who will give less emotional responses.

A big ((hug)) for your DD.

I totally agree with marmaduke's post. I am not the sort to make a fuss but I would make one hell of a fuss if this happened to my DD. I would be asking to speak to the Headteacher as a matter of urgency.
And I have to ask what sort of supervision is there if this sort of incident can happen in the changing rooms of 7 year old children. Certainly at our school I would not regard this as "commonplace". It might be a joke to pick up a pair of knickers and pop them on someone's head (or throw someone's pants across the room etc) but not whilst physically pinning their hands back; and to close them in a room and turn out the light is totally beyond a joke especially at that age.
Is your DD afraid to approach a teacher/assistant if something like this happens - she must have been upset at the time and it would help if she feels there is someone she can go to if there are any more incidents.

Message withdrawn

I agree with the other posters. As a former victim of bullying, I would say this incident is particularly unpleasant, and far beyond the run of normal teasing/mild bullying. Sounds like your DD was heavily outnumbered, so I would cut her some slack rather than suggest she in anyway should have acted differently.

I don't think this kind of incident is commonplace and I think any child would be scared by it. Don't think either of mine would see the finny side of it and I certainly would not.

I would tell the head immediately. The school will have an anti-bullying policy to deal with this type of incident. Your daughter should not have to toughen up to deal with this type of thing, it should not happen.

Agree with posters above. Dreadful!

Thank you all so much for your support. I couldn't sleep at all last night worrying about this. I have called the school and they are dealing with it now.

Maisykins, yes she is afraid to tell a teacher because she thinks she will be unpopular if the other children get into trouble because she told on them. The head is going to tell her that it is OK to tell a teacher and is having a talk with her this afternoon.

Completely unacceptable. Hope things get sorted soon. As a mum with a sensitive kid who starts school this september, i am really worried.

This website has plenty of practical suggestions about bullying. I think you have take several approaches to the problem.

Definately involve the teacher or head teacher if necessary. What you described is completely and utterly unacceptable. The school has a legal duty to ensure your daughter's safety.

This is a brilliant book for learning to deal with name calling. Possibly your daughter might find it a bit young for her, but at £1.56 it might be worth looking at.

My name in NOT dummy.

www.amazon.co.uk/Name-Dummy-childrens-problem-solving/dp/0960286284/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s= books&qid=1206027938&sr=8-1

This book has really helped my six year old son. The child guides the story character and makes choices what she should do next. It has suggestions what to do about malicious name calling.

However your daughter is having to cope with something much nastier. Kidscape do run free courses and your daughter might qualify.

Sorry the kidscape website is

www.kidscape.org.uk/