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Does anyone else’s child have a meltdown after school, everyday?

6 replies

Kirs7y · 17/01/2024 12:26

As soon as we get it the car after school, my 8yo daughter starts crying and shouting about her day. This has happened everyday since she went back after Christmas holidays (was a couple of days a week before that)

Some things she says:

  • A boy on her table is constantly messing around and she can’t concentrate.
  • Another is blowing raspberries and spitting all over her.
  • A girl keeps copying her and when she tries to hide her work, a boy on the other side reads out her answers to the other person.
  • The teacher has their favourites and they never get told off. A girl told her, ‘no one cares if me, xxx and xxx are horrible to you, we can say what we like.’
  • There are a couple of children in the class with additional needs, a lot of the teachers time is spent trying to keep them under control.
  • The children who are always naughty, get rewarded when they’re not naughty. She’s questioning why she bothers to do well.

Lastly, she has been pulled to the floor by her hair by one girl and body shamed by another (different times).
My daughter said that neither of them were told off. When I spoke to the teacher about this, he said that it’s in their school policy to talk to them in private, so that the bullies are not publicly shamed.

She is always so stressed after school and yesterday said that she wants to go to bed and never wake up.

She is completely fine before school. She sometimes says she doesn’t want to go to school, but I don’t want to get into a habit of keeping her off.

She does have a handful of good school friends that she sees outside of school, so does have friends at school, but none of her friends are at her table.

Is anyone else’s child super stressed after a day at school?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
DogLover24 · 17/01/2024 14:53

My autistic daughter used to every single day. I had it explained to me that she was spending all day masking and trying to 'fit in' [which all children do to a certain extent I believe - that's just my opinion] and by the time they get home they're absolutely exhausted. Knackered and we know what knackered children are like!
However it does sound like there are other issues within the classroom which I'd be asking for a meeting with the teachers to address, personally.
I won’t be one of those posters who attempts to diagnose a stranger's child with Autism as the reality is, Autism is a very complex condition which varies so much and affects every person differently. It could just be a combination of the issues you mentioned, within school, along with just plain old exhaustion from fitting in.

stargirl1701 · 17/01/2024 15:05

DD1 did but she is autistic.

Singleandproud · 17/01/2024 15:11

It seems silly but when you pick her up get down to her level, give her a big hug and tell her how glad you are to see her.

Before driving home give her a snack, a drink and then talk to her but focus on what she enjoyed, what made her laugh, what made her feel excited and one thing that made her sad or scared etc.

This will help bring her out of her negativity loop, that's not to say don't take her trial and tribulations seriously if they are big things but generally negative things stay at the fore front whereas we need help remembering the positives. If she does talk about negatives then ask her what she did or say "I wonder what you will do next time" this gives her time to think and some power over the situation

Kirs7y · 17/01/2024 17:55

Thank you for your replies.

I’m going to meet with the teacher and discuss the issues within the class.

I also going to try and encourage her to talk about the good points of the day, seeing her friends etc, to try and take her focus off the bad things.

It’s interesting you mention autism, 3 of my Nephews are autistic. My daughter may have some autistic traits, I’ll look into it. She did have delayed speech and was in speech therapy for a while.

OP posts:
Whatsthestorynow · 17/01/2024 17:57

I was also going to say autism OP. It’s so common for children to mask at school then all the pent up feelings come out when they get home.

WinterSnowFox · 17/01/2024 17:58

Yes! My 6 year old is in a terrible mood after school but she’s not autistic.
The moodiness drives me mad.

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