Help - cannot decide on school for September, deadline this Monday 😭

[HollyMay88]

Sorry for long story… I am so undecided on what school to pick for our little boy for September. There are 2 schools to pick from in our area both are good schools. He goes to one of them “school A” for preschool 2 days a week which we just picked on closeness as it’s a 5min walk vs 16min for “school B” never really considered he would go to school B as we had to walk past A to get there.

He gets on really well at preschool and has friends he tells us about there etc.

Went to look at both schools, School A was fine, nice school, good facilities, nice kids. Wasn’t blown away but just thought he will be fine here with his friends. Looked at School B to rule it out and myself and husband loved it, just had a good feeling like people say loved the grounds, polite children, good facilities.

Now I’m completely torn and losing sleep, feel gutted we didn’t look at it for preschool and absolutely awful my son will be away from all the friends he’s made as all 22 in his preschool will
go to school A, when I mention it to him he gets upset he will not see his friends again!

Do I base this decision on friends he’s made at such a small age? They will all end up at the same secondary school so will it make a difference?!

am I thinking to much into it both good schools does it matter one just felt better to us?

The main factor impacting how well a child will do in school is home. Therefore, look at how well the two schools fit into the rest of your family life. This includes ethos (e.g. do the school's aims, behaviour policy and their approach to faith fit in with yours views?) and practicalities.

Do you, or might you, need breakfast or after-school club, an earlier start or finish time, and do the schools both offer that? If he is unwell in school, or if your working situation changes so you can’t do pick ups, would one school be more convenient for your back up child care? Are there, or might there within the next 7 years be, siblings to consider?

All other things being equal, pick the closest school. You will be walking that extra 10 minutes (is that how fast you walk or how fast your child walks when he is tired?) four times a day, including in winter, plus you’ll need to walk it longer into his primary career as he'll be older before you'll feel happy with him travelling alone.

Whatever you decide, put the closest school as one of your preferences. If you don’t do this and then are not allocated the other school (remember you are stating a preference not making a choice) the school allocated might be one much further a way.

Remember that a) it's your child attending, not you so it should be good for him; b) you'd have to do the 15 min journey 2x a day for the next 6 years regardless of the weather; and c) it's good for children to have local friends that they can play with after school and share inset days off with.

I also don't understand the angst about it, either, tbh. As long as he's happy and making progress, did it really matter?

Honestly, don't overthink it too much. Likelihood is you will be allocated your closest school by the council. Demand is so high where I live we don't actually get a choice

I’d go with school A. I was in a similar situation last year and put school B. We didn’t get a place and got school A. My daughter has local friends, I already knew 2 mums who have helped me out with childcare when I’ve been desperate, she can cycle there with my husband every morning rather than driving. The other school gets slightly better grades and has a slightly better but older ofsted grade, but my daughter is happy and will Most probably do fine at school cos I support her at home. This week the bridge I’d have to drive over to get her to school B had been closed which means it would have been a 40 minute + round trip twice per day and I’ve never been more glad of our decision not to appeal for a place there!!

To be fair, across the country generally numbers are down so parents are more likely than ever to get an out of catchment place. Within a mile of me there are 3 schools with a total of 50 spare reception places this year!!!

Are you likely to get into B? What are the admission policies.

Don’t overthink it. Children can be happy or unhappy at any school - unfortunately you don’t get to choose if your kid is happy at school or not. Unless there are obvious concerns about either school, it’s a good problem to have - spoiled for choice!! If it were me, I’d go with the nearer school where he has already made pals but genuinely I don’t think there’s a “wrong” option if they’re both good schools.

What did you love about school B so much? What does it have that school A doesn't? Is it something that would matter/affect your son? Or just something that appeals to you as parents?

At the end of the day, it's your son going there for the next 6 years. Having to go to place where he wants to go, he feels confident in,has friend etc. will be quite important. Also, don't dismiss just how much of a difference a really short commute will make. So, if you don't have any actual concerns about school A or school B offers some significant/quantifiable advantages , I would go with school A.

If it's that great and that nearby, how come literally none of the other families in his preschool setting are considering school B? My first preference school for my son is not particularly close to his nursery but there are still at least two or three other kids I know of whose parents also have it as their preferred school.

What are the admissions policies for each school and are you genuinely in a position to be able to choose between them or are you setting your heart on something you aren't likely to get anyway?

TBH, primary school choice does not matter that hugely to outcomes for kids (secondary is more critical); seeing as school A is close and he has friends there and seems happy, honestly I'd just put A first and be done with it.

I'd go A too. Save yourself a lot of time and by Yr5 they can just walk to school and back. Mates will be on door step. School B may have given a great impression but unless massive differences I wouldn't bother. Mine went local and now high with all local mates: loads from nursery originally