Worried about 5 year old

[alltheteainchina]

DD is 5, 6 in June. She is currently in Y1 at school at a 2 form entry.

We had a bit of a tricky start to school as DD found herself in a 3 way unhealthy dynamic where the other 2 girls would hit, pull, drag and hurt her on a daily basis. The school intervened and she was separated for Y1 when they mixed the classes.

At the end of reception, DD developed a healthy friendship with another little girl and throughout the school year they became best friends. We have hosted a number of play dates and the girls see each other out of school socially too as we get on well with the other girls parents.

Yesterday DD was inconsolable for over 30 minutes last night and it literally broke my heart. Her best friend has invited another girl from their class over to her house for a play date after school today. Both DD and her best friend have become good friends with this other girl. Yesterday another group of girls in the class teased DD and apparently made DD say that she no longer had a best friend and her best friend was now best friends with this other girl. I know it all sounds childish, but when you're only 5. This has really upset her.

I've spoken to DD about developing other friendships and how important is is to play with other children but she feels she has literally lost her best friend. I suggested we invite the other girl to play but she is having none of it and I THINK she now sees the other girl as a threat. I'm trying to encourage her to play with others, but she tells me some days she just plays on her own whilst her best friend plays with this other little girl now.

I don't know how to support her. I am worried about her because she has already been a target for the other 2 girls the school separated her from as she has sustained a head injury from one and a trip to the hospital by the other. I've arranged a couple of play dates with other children she plays with.

this morning the DH had to peel her off me as she clung to me and didn't want to go into the classroom.

is this all normal 5year old behaviour or somethign more going on?

@alltheteainchina hows ur relationship with dd? Can she find a guaranteed permanent best friend in you instead as an alternate? We can’t control the nature of the cohort but we can try to find alternate assurances? Not sure it helps but that’s our game at home.

Op, without minimising dds experiences, friendship groups/allies/behaviours is a marathon journey not a sprint.

these issues come up again and again as children make friends, get rejected, make new friends etc.

help dd develop confidence, explore other friends, not rely on 1 best friend.

friends have sleepovers and parties with others and dd won’t get every invite.

as you continue the school journey you will get to know more parents/ families/ children for dd to play with.
get her involved in activities outside of school so she has other friends.

dd needs your help in navigating other peoples behaviour so help her to learn it is not about her but is about their issues.

keep planning fun things, kids can be mean 💐

Thank you - I've arranged a play date for her next week with another little girl she sometimes plays with to try and encourage other friendships and to highlight she is able to have fun and play with other children.