Safeguarding

[alltheteainchina]

NC for this.

DD(5) attends a two form entry primary. She is currently in Y1. Throughout reception she found herself being physically dragged, pulled and pushed between two girls. This resulted in school avoidance and a lot of upset for her. Her class teacher last year was brilliant and agreed it was an unhealthy dynamic and put in place a number of measures to ensure DD was kept apart as much as possible and worked with DD to encourage and develop healthy friendships. At the end of the reception year it was announced that the school would be mixing the 2 classes going forward. The class teacher agreed that for DD it would be better for her to be placed in the opposite class to these other 2 girls.

Apart from one incident at the start of Y1 in the playground where one of the girls deliberately pushed (witnessed by others) and she fell and hit her head, DD was doing really well. Developing lots of new and lovely friendships.

The two girls, however, paint another story. One of the girls turned on the other and one of the girls found herself being hit, dragged, pushed etc like DD had experienced from the pair of them during reception. Unfortunately following a complaint from one of the parents it was agreed that one of these girls could move into DDs class. The one who moved was not the one who had pushed DD resulting in her hitting her head. She moved class towards the end of the last term.

Last week I received a call from the school asking me to collect DD as I needed to take her to hospital following a "bump" in the playground. Upon picking her up her chin was split open and her face was all cut. DD later told me that the new girl in her class had deliberately pushed her over. DH also spoke to DD separately and she was adamant this is what had happened.

I sent an email to the school requesting a meeting and to follow up on we felt the school had failed to safeguard DD with no consideration the move of this other girl would have on DD. We were also not informed that this move would have been happening.

The school did their own investigation and the DH met with DD and she said that she fell playing. However, at home she remains absolutely adamant that she was pushed. She was so worried about getting into trouble we think this is why she may have changed her narrative. We believe what she said originally to be the truth.

To be fair the school have put in place a number of measures, but we still remain a little concerned. The DH moved this other child knowing there was an issue with DD and she was very apologetic over this. However, there was no offer to revoke the decision. DD is still anxious about going to school and getting hurt and I am not sure what to do next, if anything, when theyve put in place measures to safeguard?!

The incident in the playground was presumably at break/lunchtime, and so moving anyone between classes again is unlikely to help.

I think you do need to make sure the school are aware that DD wasn't telling them the truth, and that she's not feeling safe. It sounds as if they're trying to put measures in place - is that before or after the latest incident? Do you think these will be enough? Do you have any other ideas? Does your daughter know that there are measures in place (even if not details) so that she can feel safer? Does she know what to do at playtimes if she is worried?

I disagree re moving of classes not impacting on playground as before the move took place DD was essentially off the "radar." Once the move took place she was back on the radar and the school anxiety started again.

The measures should hopefully be enough, but we do feel incredibly let down by the school when we already had a solution in place. The DH did call me to say thatshe was only aware of issues between DD and the child being moved 1 hour before the meeting, but the move still went ahead.

Tbh I would focus energies on finding out what is going wrong in terms of supervision on the playground for so many apparently deliberate acts of violence to be taking place, rather than being annoyed that this girl has been moved into your daughter's class. They did not have to inform you of this move and, if not this year, it was always going to happen at some point that she ends up with one or both of them again. They were never going to kept apart indefinitely due to some incidents right back in Reception.

I'm really sorry to hear your daughter was badly hurt. The school need to work on better supervision and a better focus on kind hands and friendships as this group of girls are clearly struggling with that.

I totally understand your frustration but I feel the annoyance about this girl now being in your daughter's class is misplaced. Organising class lists can be a nightmare for school staff if there are several children who, in an idea world, would be better separated. They can never please everyone. I can totally understand why the move took place the the situation you outline.

I'd be asking for a meeting to discuss exactly what they plan to do to lessen the chance of rough play and violence on the playground to ensure your daughter feels safer in the future. Some schools offer pastoral self-esteem sessions for anxious children. Maybe this could be something you you enquire about, to help her learn to stand up for herself?

You are completely right to feel angry and expect the school to do something but I highly doubt moving this child again will be an option I'm afraid.

It’s pretty much impossible to prevent this. There won’t be enough staff to 1:1 all the children involved, and even if there were it’s still impossible to prevent.
A child could be stood right next to their 1:1 adult, even holding their hand, and still lash out or run off, pull away.
I would move schools OP.