Private education from Reception

[PretendingToBePosh]

My (eldest) DS is currently 2.5 and we are starting to think about preschool/reception for him.

DH grew up relatively wealthy and went to private school when he was small but for various reasons then went into the state school system for secondary school.

I did not grow up in a wealthy house and was educated in the state system throughout.

DH and I both did well at school and have never felt that we were at a disadvantage in our careers.

We are in the fortunate financial position that we can now afford to put DS (and later down the line his brother) into private school from reception. This isn't something that I had ever considered for my children - if I am honest probably because of some sort of reverse snobbery.

We live close to Cransley school and a neighbour sends their (high school aged) child there which is what has brought it to our attention. We have (very briefly) looked into it and the facilities are unsurprisingly much, much better than the local primary school that I had planned for DS to go to.

We are now talking about all of the benefits you usually think of - smaller class sizes, early intervention if it was needed, great access to sport etc etc and it is making me question whether it might be worthwhile.

There is a huge part of me though that feels that it is just ridiculous to send a 4 year old to a fee paying school when he is essentially going to be there to learn the most basic things! Part of me wonders whether it is something to reconsider when he is older but then I also like the thought of him going to the same school all the way through from 4-16.

I'm just looking for some wisdom really from those who've gone before me - what would you do/what did you do, and with the benefit of hindsight was it the right choice?

Thank you!

If it’s not a massive financial sacrifice for you, then the small classes are lovely, my DC swim weekly, they have forest school within the grounds, there are lots of staff and the facilities are fantastic. Sport is also a massive part of school life right from the start, which I really like, and the sports are extremely varied. Sandwich care is also great and they take requests for ASC on the day up until lunchtime (and after that, at their discretion) so as a working parent, that’s a massive bonus.

There is a on-site nurse who they can also drop into at any time for pastoral, as well as medical care.

The holidays are much longer, so that’s something to think about if you need holiday care etc, but they run clubs.

go with private secondary

We did state primary and private secondary. Small rural excellent primary so we didn't see the point of paying for those years and from an academic pov we were correct BUT DD now says she wishes she had gone to the Prep school in Yr 5 to help make the transition smoother and improve her sports and music skills before joining private in Yr 7.
All depends on what you can afford really. State primary gave us 6 years of being able to save up for private secondary.

All of the above.

DS is in reception at a 3-18 school and is thriving. He's in a class of 22, which is actually large for the school, so will be split in two next year, but they have a teacher and 3 full time TAs which makes up for it.

My August born, not very school-ready, DS definitely benefited from a class of 10 with a teacher and FT TA in Reception and KS1.

From Y3, his day was 8am - 5pm which meant I could work FT (as I wanted to do) without him feeling like he was the kid in after school club every night.

He begged to start boarding with some friends one night a week from Y5 and loved doing it.

He benefited from staying in the Prep environment for Y7&8 as he wasn't really ready for senior school at the end of Y6 (especially after lockdowns).

Just a few of the things that worked for us choosing a prep school rather than state

It worked for us as as for dd1 was exposed to incredibly high quality musical education which ultimately led to a place in the national youth orchestra : pretty good going with non musician parents.

dd2 it worked for different reasons by developing a niche interest in art which was taught by specialist teachers.

I have seen it work similarly well for families with incredibly sporty dc: 6 hours of games and pe a week plus a rota of competitive sports fixtures weekly from age 7 has put them at county level in their pick of sports.

to be honest though, the above are probably exceptions not the rule. For many people it’s just an expensive way to gain a ready made social circle for the parents - lots of families ski or go sailing together.

To answer your question - it was the right choice for us. None of my friends have expressed regret (and we have pretty brutally honest conversations about it)

We live in a rural area and send DD to private school. She started in their preschool at 3yo. She is now in year 1 and listening to what the other schools are like in the area, I have no doubt we made the right choice. They are learning so much and have more opportunities in school to try different activities than in the local schools. It is very much each to their own though and doing what you feel is right for your family.

We switched from state to private half way through reception, and the difference was night and day. Very much worth it for us. We will consider moving back to state for senior school (or other private options), but see it as an investment in their educational foundation

DS went to private school in yr7 but I always wished we could have afforded to send home earlier. GD has gone to private school from reception and the opportunities are amazing. The small class sizes mean they get a lot of attention and also a lot of opportunity to contribute in class. The school library is incredible. There is a pool on site and in yr 6 she was doing cross country and water polo. there is a choice of clubs every lunchtime and after school. If finance is no barrier - and remember fees the will go up every year - then go for it.

Are you in the North West @PretendingToBePosh? Wondering if it's the same Cransley we considered recently.

If so - absolutely go for it from reception if you can afford it. It was not something we ever dreamed of but having toured so many schools (state, various sizes of independent/prep) it has been the right choice for our DC.

If it is the same school we saw, we liked it for primary but when looking forward to high school it felt no better than the state schools we had both attended so have gone elsewhere for this and various other reasons personal to us that may not affect you.

If it is the same school, very happy to chat if you want to send me a private message.

@ThisIsNotMyUser12345 yes NW so must be the same one! I will PM you!

Thank you all that's really helpful. I think I'll get a tour booked in and go from there

Bottom line facilities and spend per pupil, private schools win hands down, so its a no brainer in that sense.

But for Reception to Y2, as many will tell you its worth it, as they will its a bit of waste of money. I think most would agree from 7+ the differences are big enough between a private school and state prmary to justify the fees.

I remember seeing hand paintings from my DC from their expensive Prep school in reception and thinking , is this worth over 20 grand a year??? To be brutally honest, no. I only really saw the benefits from 7+ , and would advise do it then.

Also - Be sure when you say 'we can afford it ', you really can and you're not basing this on just fees versus your salary. Many of us can afford it based on fees versus income, but a deep dive of finances shows otherwise.

Do a full financial health check before getting onboard- Switching from private to state is bloody brutal!! What if? every concievable situation, massive increase in fees, one of you becomes severely disabled and needs 24 hour expensive care, etc. Income protection wont save you and even 100K in savings can go very very quickly, I speak from experience.

I don't know anyone who couldn't get their children into private school from state primary, and any bright child who has been tutored will cope with even a switch to top rated selective schools in the country. We are in London and I've seen friends go from 30 a class middle of the road primary to some of the best schools ( Westminster, UCS, St Pauls) in the country.

For many parents, 7+ is the ideal age to start private education, and a lot more do this than start at 4+. Lots of the add ons that make private school worth it really kick in then for clubs etc, so it may be worth keeping them in infants till then, saving the fees , even in London its not impossible to enter very selective schools from primary at 7+ with a years prep at home either through parents or tutor or a bit of both.

@PretendingToBePosh i have seen natural learners at reception performing at yr2 level. They have sponge brains.
then there is the normal bright ones that do learn with a little push or motivation or the right environment eg small cohort and happy teachers. You simply can’t compare the output of a private to a state. Someone once said to me, If u have money, spend it- what on, that one had to decide, whether u give them education or a house :) it’s like to teach them how to fish or buy them a fish. Not exactly the best analogy but it’s similar

Hi! We’re strongly considering moving our y7 DD to cransley from Leftwich. @PretendingToBePosh @ThisIsNotMyUser12345
do you have any views on whether or not it’s a better school?
We are shocked at the behaviour of the pupils and the way it impacts on other children etc at Leftwich High and after the constant fire bells, thefts and occasional assault are just about ready to move!

@Mamaoonownow sorry, we didn't go for cransley in the end!

Private from the very start here and it was worth every penny. They absolutely loved their time at the private primary (admittedly it probably depends on which school you choose). Lots of outdoor time, lovely outdoor areas, fabulous selection of after school clubs, lots of music/art/sport etc, as well as robust teaching of the basics. Happy teachers (look at the number of threads about unhappy state school teachers). Lots of staff meant it was easy to stream in reading and maths from early on. Reading/writing was done in groups of 5 or 6.

School is a huge part of their life. Mine had a lovely childhood at school.

Private schools generally don’t have the same level of disruption so teachers can spend time teaching rather than managing bad behaviour.

The education they received compared with what they’d have got at the local state primary is a million miles apart. During Covid for example, mine got a full day of lessons from day 1. The local school got 2 short worksheets a week.

One thing I’d think about is whether you want a through school, 4-18. Children often change, and a school which suits them at 4 might not be right for them at 11/13.

We considered private, but we also have some very good state primaries on our doorstep. We feel it will be better to spend the money at secondary rather than primary.

Also, Labour are very likely to win the next General Election which will have an impact on school fees so worth taking that into consideration.

Just for the other point of view, we’ve gone state all the way - saving 14 years of private school fees per child. Kids have thrived and done well in exams, have lots of local friends and have met all kinds of people along the way.

Instead of paying for school, we’ve travelled with the kids, done music lessons/theatre trips/ school trips - and realistically we’ve been able to work less than we would have had to and spend more time with them. (Both freelance…)

I went to a private girls school in the NW for secondary and came out of it being a bit scared of boys and never had local friends and very much didn’t want that for my kids. DH had a bad state school experience so was more inclined to want the kids to go private - but we’ve found it’s been nothing like that.

But it will always depend on what your local schools are like. Ours were great during Covid - primary started off with worksheets admittedly but soon moved to recorded lessons. Secondary did lessons online and restarted programmes such as DoE as soon as they could - with lockdown friendly types of volunteering for eg.

I only have to read the many, many posts about behaviour at many state schools (including our local ones) to know we did the right thing sending DD private for secondary. I always wanted her to enjoy school and have good experiences, that's exactly what it is providing.
I feel we do state primary better than secondary in England so there are a lot more 'better' primaries than there are secondaries. It all comes down to what's available to you locally.

I struggled with the the transition from state to private at 11. This was largely because, at that time, the rest of the 11yo has been through the prep system and has commenced French at 7, and to be frank were advanced in all other subjects.
They had also played lacrosse, hockey and tennis, as opposed to unstructured PE in the state sector.

However it does sound like private schools are more diverse these days so this may not be an issue. Worth considering though.

@TheSoundOfMucus yes DD (Yr 7) now says she wishes she had gone Yr 6 prep to help her prepare for the change but in actual fact she isn't behind the preppies academically at all and is in top sets for everything. Sport is a different matter, the prepped dominate all A and B teams!

We have an 8-year old in a prep, and he is really thriving. The smaller class sizes mean that every teacher knows him properly (including his quirks and questionable taste in 80s music, which is entirely my DH's fault). The school he's at groups by ability early on for English and Maths. He's working at the expected level for his age in English, but is about two years ahead in Maths, and loves the more challenging work he's given. He's not sporty, but still really enjoys the variety of sports they do, and loves the after-school clubs. He's musical, so is learning an instrument and is in the school choir. It just feels like he's getting access to such a balanced education and opportunities he would not have at our local state primaries.

However - I highly recommend that you look at a range of private schools. They are all very different. DS's current school has a real family feel to it and is lovely, but he was in another school that was (with hindsight) quite impersonal for Reception. We chose his current school after meeting the headmaster, who introduced us to range of very muddy children during our visit - and instead of telling them off for uniform violations, he merely asked which trees they'd been building dens under that day. And then ruined a pair of shoes wading through the mud to show us. That attitude suited us!

I didn’t think the early years mattered much for a 4 year old who was already a confident reader and good at maths. We went state school.

It was such a mistake. State schools are so overcrowded and underfunded that they ignore all calm bright kids and only teach the bottom half of the class. In some schools all they can manage to do is give the SEN children attention and everyone else is on their own with a worksheet. If your child is well behaved she WILL be sat next to a noisy naughty disruptive child, every day, because the teachers think that helps calm the class.

State primary crushed my daughter’s confidence, made her afraid of school and untrusting of adults and turned her off learning.

She is now at a wonderful nurturing private school but we are still trying to undo the damage the state system did to her, and she will probably never catch up with the children who’ve been at the school since day 1, they’re literally years ahead of her in some subjects.

Don’t make our mistake. You get what you pay for.

Hope that helps.