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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

PTA clique

19 replies

handbagqueen · 15/03/2008 22:19

Hi,

This has been bugging me for months now so I thought I'd get some more opions on it.

At mt DD's school the PTA is very cliquey. I have tried to break into the group and attend the meetings (which aren't really advertised to the parents).

The thing that has wound me up though is at the christmas peformance for my DD's year the front row of seats had reserved signs on the chairs - we all assumed it must be for staff, but it was for the PTA clique. They did this under the guise of selling refreshments although no one I spoke to knew where the refreshments were or if any were sold.

It seems that many of the parents are annoyed about this, but what can we do?
Who can we talk to about it?

I don't want this to happen again this christmas, as many of them have a child in the same year and my DD they will all be at the next christmas performance.

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taipo · 15/03/2008 22:36

At my dd's school the pta was always desperate for new members but think it may have sometimes seemed cliquey to outsiders.

Have you actually attended any meetings and if so how did they behave towards you?

Agree that reserving seats is very off. Could you speak to the head about it?

purpleduck · 15/03/2008 22:41

That sounds really unfair - especially if your dd's school is like ours - nobody can see unless they are in the front row.

The regular meetings may not be advertised, but as a PARENT you are automatically part of the PTA. Just ask when the next meeting is, and go.

Our PTA is a bit cliquey, just stick with it if you want to join.

As for the chair thing, I would talk to a the teacher or the Head.

Although, I would kindof see their point IF there were refreshments, as long as they didn't take up all the seats. I often help get the kids ready for their performances, and I go in earlier if I remember, and put my coat on one chair.

Original poster

handbagqueen · 15/03/2008 22:49

I have been going to the meetings when I've overheard one of them mentioning them in the playground.Do they have to advertise the meetings or is it up to them to decide how this should be done?

When I have attended the meetings the mums in my DD1's class are nice enough to me as they see me everyday in the playground, but the chair and her cronies ignore me!

I wondered whether the Head would think I'm being petty about the reserved chairs, but the people behind them couldn't see a thing and I had my DD2 on my lap and she couldn't see either!

OP posts:

taipo · 15/03/2008 23:00

It's perfectly reasonable to expect that they should advertise the meetings and maybe if you speak to the head about the chair incident you could bring that up too and also ask about their precise role.

They sound pretty nasty but if you do want to get involved, could you get together a group of mums to go along with you - safety in numbers?

purpleduck · 15/03/2008 23:04

Don't they set the date of the next meeting at the meeting?

Find a nice PTA'er and stick with her! If the rest are cows ignoring you, then it sounds like they need shaking up. All the more reason to join.

Ours isn't always advertised, as we don't set meeting for the whole year - we set the date one meeting at a time. IF there is one set, then the Head may include it in diary dates if they are going out at that time.

Original poster

handbagqueen · 15/03/2008 23:04

We are thinking of getting a group together to go along to the AGM and vote in a new chair who isn't part of the existing crowd!

OP posts:

ladette · 15/03/2008 23:09

mmm. this is a hard one... I'm a long serving PTA member, but have never been part of the clique. When i say "the" clique, it changes every year when the committee changes. On the one hand, I can understand that you're miffed that the PTA gets the front seats. on the other hand, I can see that the parents who turn up time after time after time to serve refreshments etc often miss out on seeing their own children's performances. Perhaps this is a compromise? I don't know, cos obviously don't know your school, but when parents moan at our school about such things, I advise they come along to PTA meetings and help organise things. It is impossible to keep everyone happy, and if you don't like what your PTA does, then invest the odd evening in going to their meetings and make constructive suggestions....

purpleduck · 15/03/2008 23:22

I would see her in action first - at meetings, etc. She may be unfriendly, but maybe she is good at what she does.

But definately go to meetings with your group, and change the dynamics of the committee.

mrz · 16/03/2008 15:03

I can't see why they would need to reserve front row seats if they were selling refreshments surely seats near the back where they could slip out to prepare the refreshments ready for the end or where they could slip in unnoticed if refreshments were pre performance.
I would speak to your daughters teacher initially to make the head aware that some parents are being "put off" by the perceived clique. It's to the schools advantage to have as many parents involved as possible.

TheFallenMadonna · 16/03/2008 15:09

Our PTA do this, but on the other hand they do provide refreshments, and run a raffle, and collect tickets. So they get there first. SO they're entitled to the seats they choose IMO.

ScienceTeacher · 16/03/2008 16:21

Maybe a front row seat is awarded as a perk of the job.

wheresthehamster · 16/03/2008 16:28

I have no problem with the PTA having reserved front row seats. They get there early - to every performance - serve teas and clear away afterwards. Are you saying that because they are serving and come in last they have to stand at the back? And those that get there early and 'bagsie' the front seats and watch the PTA struggling with trestle tables and urns etc deserve them?

OK, if there were no refreshments then they should fight for them like the rest.

hippipotami · 16/03/2008 16:34

If I help sell raffle tickets or refreshments I do reserve a seat near the front. Because if I am selling raffle tickets at the door, by the time I am finished everyone is seated and I am left with a seat near the door.
As far as I am concerned front row seats are one of the small rewards for giving up my own time to benefit the school.
It is one very very very small benefit of standing in the playground just outside the hall door, getting frostbite in my toes and trying to sell raffle tickets with blue fingers, all in my own time, to bring a few extra pounds to benefit all the children at the school.

Also, most PTA's advertise their meetings in the school newsletter. Our PTA also stick notices by all the class room doors.

And our PTA is not cliquey. It may come across as 'always the same faces' but that is because no bugger else comes forward to help!

Original poster

handbagqueen · 16/03/2008 16:37

But they don't let anyone else help or get involved.

I have on numerous occasions volunteered to help out only to be told they don't need any help.

I'm a parent at the school too and want to do my bit, but they really don't want anyone outside their little group getting involved.

When I'm chair next year I'll change things!!

OP posts:

hippipotami · 16/03/2008 16:47

Wow handbagqueen, where is your school, can I come there? I am soooo fed up of continually having to do 3 hour stints at the school fete because there are not enough people to man all the stalls for an hour each...

Maybe your PTA is genuinly cliquey. And that is not good.
As an alternative to helping them with the events they have organised, ask them if there are any things they don't have time for but would like you to do instead. So for instance, if your PTA does not organise an eater egg hunt, ask if you and a friend can organise one on their behalf.
For instance, our PTA did not have hte man power (nor inclination for some reason) to run disco's at the infant school. They only ran them at the junior school. So two lovely reception mums approached the chair person and they are now responsible for all the infant school disco's at teh infant school.

hippipotami · 16/03/2008 16:49

Oh, just seen your last message. Yes, if they become too cliquey, a new chair is in order. Our PTA had the same problem quite a few years ago. Finally the old chair was given the heave ho and the new chair implemented a rule that no-one could be PTA chair for longer than two years running. With each new chair there is an influx of new members (the chair's friends?) and thus new enthusiasm and new ideas.
Works great!

mrz · 16/03/2008 17:32

I can understand them being awarded the perk if their child is performing and selling refreshments or raffle tickets up to the start of the performance.

frecklyspeckly · 16/03/2008 21:49

I think good on you for having the enthusiasm to want to join, I think in any organisation I have come accross, e.g charity things, mum and toddler groups you can find they are a magnet for certain individuals who toe the line between being very capable and a little bit imposing. In general, this should not stop you joining in for the good of the school/ your child, you will always get this. I mean as mrz said, if you are in school hall first, you wouldnt want to not have a seat saved, if you are going to busy right up to start of performance, or deliberately save seats seven rows back in case you offend anyone, would you ?

wannaBe · 16/03/2008 22:01

I think PTA's are notoriously cliquey. I also think that often there's a lot of empire building going on, ie we had a meeting about the fate and the newbies were almost shot down every time we suggested what we could do on the basis that "oh no you can't have x stall because xxx has been doing it for the past 99 years so we can't possibly take it away from her". And the clique were none too happy when I nabbed the cake stall in the absence of the one that had it the past several years running but tough imo.

The only way you will get recognission is to keep turning up for events, eg school discos etc to help out and the more you are seen to be helping the more you will be allowed in.

Then turn up to the AGM and all elect a new chair.

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