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Primary education

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Y4 DC misbehaving in class

1 reply

Seadreamers · 11/12/2023 21:05

DS(8) and in y4 has been misbehaving in class according to his teacher and this started after October half-term. He has always been well-behaved and tries hard in the past.

I have just had another update and he is still not always paying attention when the teacher is speaking, talks when he shouldn’t, silly behaviour with others who sit at his table (he is now going to be moved), has started making holes / small tears and rips in his workbooks, and is not putting much effort into his work.

This behaviour has come from nowhere and we are at a loss. Of course, we have spoken to him many times about it, tried to get to the bottom of why there is this change but he has nothing to say. The teacher will be speaking to the Senco this week as she is now out of ideas as everything she has tried with him hasn’t worked.

He has also started showing some behaviours which I think can be attributed to anxiety in the past couple of months ie won’t go upstairs at home by himself and he gets upset if his DF or I aren’t waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs (says he’s scared. This was a post-lockdown behaviour).

He's also said the following 3-4 times which is concerning - says he wishes he had never been born, says that we hate him and wish we’d never had him, and that he wishes he was dead.

He has previously had ELSA support in y2 which was very useful and I’ve asked if that’s an option - this was for some anxiety and lack of self-belief in his ability, and disengaged with learning due to the lockdowns.

Where do we go from here, both for rectifying his behaviour and re-engaging him with learning, and emotional support? If the school won’t help with ELSA again where do we go for emotional help for him for these things he is saying? The teacher said CAMHS has a 4-year waiting list around here.

OP posts:
Sunshineismyfavourite · 11/12/2023 22:04

Of course you are worried, it's not nice to hear your DCs using language like this and his behaviour changes will concern you. From my experience as a teacher, Y4 can be difficult for some boys. My own DS had a bit of a blip in behaviour when he turned 8. The school is right about CAMHS waiting lists I think this is the same all over the UK, certainly matches the experiences from me too. Are there any private tutors near you that offer ELSA type support that you could possibly send your DS to if your school ELSA can't offer you anything? I would imagine the school ELSA is completely booked up too.
I would keep up the conversations with him and try not to draw too much attention to the 'wish I was dead' language. Also sadly not uncommon and 99% of the time is a tactic for attention due to internal anxieties. I actually private tutor myself in a range of emotional and social programmes. If you want to dm me I am happy to share some materials I have that you could do with you DS to see if it helps. Hope you can get something sorted that eases your mind as much as anything!

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