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Can I keep my son off school?

8 replies

FromtheZoo · 07/12/2023 19:48

Hi,

I'm hoping for some advice about what to do for my son, who is 4 years old (not 5 until Easter) and currently in reception class and has been since September.

For various reasons, including him still not being settled and lack of support among other things, we have decided to change him to a different school. We are just about to send off the in year admission forms to the council school admissions team. The school we want to change to definitely has reception spaces available and I have spoken to the headteacher there a few times and I expect we will be accepted there once everything is processed.

However, the current school were very unhappy, to say the least, to receive the forms notifying them of our decision to leave. It has been a stressful couple of weeks of them resisting filling out their part of the forms and a very rude phone call from the headteacher wanting to know what was better about the other school and why I wanted to leave and what I expected from the new school. We finally got the forms back and when we looked at them discovered the headteacher filled them out with lots of lies. She essentially said that she doesn't support the move to a different school, that we did not do enough home learning to support our son and so he is behind and that we were promised things by the new school that I absolutely did not say! she also lied about what support has been given to my son to try and help him with the settling in process. My initial reaction was to call up and have another phone call with the headteacher, confront her about the lies on the form and try and get her to change what's been written. Or to call school admissions and tell them that she has lied on the forms. But I have actually decided to leave the forms as they are and send them off regardless of what she has written on them. For the sake of just getting the process started and the application in before Christmas and also not getting into a back and forth with the school and them delaying the process even more than they have as they weren't happy about filling out the forms in the first place. (Please let me know if anyone thinks this is the wrong thing to do!)

My main concern now is that I feel extremely uncomfortable about sending my son into a hostile environment while the forms are being processed. Now that I've seen how negatively they obviously feel about the fact we are leaving, I'm worried that they will either treat him unfairly or they will say something to him about the fact he is leaving. They've shown themselves to be dishonest and spiteful and as he is already so unhappy there and begs me not to send him every morning I just feel awful about sending him there after this. What grounds do I have for not sending him back there? Considering he is still 4 years old and not turning 5 for a while, so doesn't legally need to be in school yet? I obviously don't want to negatively impact the application or us being accepted into the new school.

Thank you in advance

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Ardith · 07/12/2023 19:52

Keep him. You have two options
(1) tell her you are deregistering him effective immediately, for a period of home education before yohs tart the next school. This takes effect instantly although some dodgy heads don’t tell the local authorty for a while so theh can keep claiming funding to teach your child.
(2) let him stay on the register and tell her that he won’t be returning and that they may wish to note on the register that his attendance is not required as he is not yet compulsory school age.

Personally I’d deregister him so that the old head is no longer anything to do with you, but I don’t think it makes much difference which option you choose.

I definitely would not send him back there.

LIZS · 07/12/2023 19:52

In England if the new school has a vacant place they cannot refuse your child a place whatever the current head has written. Tbh not sure why they have even got that involved. If the vacancy exists now can you move sooner?

Ardith · 07/12/2023 19:56

What about :

  1. Send his old school an email saying “Hello, as you know we have decided to withdraw our son XYZ from your school. He will be having a period of elective home education before he starts his new school. Please deregister him, effective immediately, and confirm to me in writing that you have done so. I will also notify the LEA.”
  2. Then just send in thenin year application form, completed by yourself, and state on it that he is currently home educated.
Depending on what thenform saysnit seems to me like that would be simplest than allowing the old head to be involved, but perhaps I’m wrong.
FromtheZoo · 07/12/2023 20:04

Thanks so much for your replies!

I had wondered if deregistering him was an option or if it would somehow mess up the application process, but if it's an option then maybe this is the way forward!

I can't move him there any sooner as far as I know, he's my first child so I'm new to all this but I think where I live I have to fill in an in year admissions form with my council, who require the current school to answer questions about my sons school background, what issues there were and what advice they have for the next school etc. then it's in the councils hands after that, but hopefully as the new school definitely has space in reception it won't matter what she has said on the forms?

I will look more into deregistering him, if it means I don’t have to deal with the headteacher and also don’t have to send him there until he has a place in the new school that would be ideal!

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PostmansKnock · 07/12/2023 20:22

This is mad!

Why would they care? He's on,y been there a matter of weeks for a start and children move schools all of the time.

FromtheZoo · 07/12/2023 21:10

PostmansKnock · 07/12/2023 20:22

This is mad!

Why would they care? He's on,y been there a matter of weeks for a start and children move schools all of the time.

I know  this is why I'm so reluctant to send him there for the next few weeks now. They know how much he has struggled to settle in and instead of thinking of his best interests they are playing games and making things difficult! I just don't trust them with him now

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PostmansKnock · 07/12/2023 21:58

I'd send the message @Ardith wrote but also you need to get on with sending the in year admission for in. If there is a place they have to offer it.

My dd went to three primary schools. One after half a term in reception and I didn't have any of this carry on!

FromtheZoo · 07/12/2023 22:06

Thank you! @PostmansKnock I will email the admissions form to the council now and also email the school with the message @Ardith suggested.

and Thank you @Ardith ! You've been really helpful

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