School Meeting

[midas]

I will be meeting with my son's teacher tomorrow and I need to know what to ask her.

I have a ds1 that is 6 years old and in Y1.
His Y1 teacher left in December and he now has a new teacher.

I met her for two minutes(max) at the last Y1 assembly and she mentioned aspergas but said she couldn't really talk as she was busy(which i did understand).

Bit of background, I have a son who finds it difficult to sit still, not troublesome at all, will never throw a tantrum, hit back or get into trouble in school.

He skips, does not walk and because of that other boys thinks he is game for a rough play, he will play but when it is getting too rough he tends to leave them to it unlike his younger brother.

He has close friends at least 2 and plays with other children but he gets bored rather quickly with them especially if they are girls.

He is someone that is very sensitive that can cry if he thinks I am upset with him.

She said within that time that he seems to have problems knowing what to do ...eg when she tells everyone get their coats.

At home I can rely on him to do stuff for himself and even help me.

He is academically quite good, absolutely no problems with numeracy, reading etc.

At home he does not have any problem with instructions at all but I teach him in Sunday school and I do see that most of the time he is not interested in doing what the other kids are doing but will answer any questions correctly.You wouldn't even think he was listening

I had to stop his group swimming lessons because he will just do his own thing. I want to get him a one-on-one lesson.

His last teacher did have some sort of achievement thing that after he got so many stickers he got a special prize (pencil) from the headteacher. He loved this and was always telling me his sticker counts.

The old teacher sang his praises so much I nearly cried at the last parent's meeting.

The thing is his old nursery and the school in Reception did get someone to access him and on both occassions, were told nothing absolutely wrong with him.

He does tell me he tries to sit still but he forgets and he will really try the next day.

I know my son thrives on praise and cares about stickers but I cannot tell her how to do her job.

I don't get the opportunity to pick him from school so tomorrow is quite important to find out what we can do.

He's told me he does sit right in front of her.

I have gone round in circle.

Do you feel that he might have Aspergers?

I think you should ask her to explain why she thinks he might have it. Ask her to give you examples of when he has acted in a way that the teacher associates with being AS type behaviour. Also ask her what strategies she is using to support him if she feels he is having difficulties. E.G. If she feels he has difficulties with him foloowing instructions does she make sure that she only gives him one instruction at a time?

Your ds sounds lovely, and you know him best so don't be afraid to tell the teacher what works best with him. Telling her he thrives on praise isn't the same as telling her how to do her job. If she can get him to do what she wants by using sticker charts or such, then she'll have an easier life.
He is very young yet, but if he's giving no trouble at school with tantrums, and able to keep up with his school work, and is happy, I think you should be delighted. He sounds very bright.

Thank you both.

I will try and remember to ask all these questions and also what I believe works best for him.

Teachers cannot diagnose aspergers! If she is concerned, and you feel she might have a point, go and talk it over with your GP. You are the expert on your child, and if you don't feel there is a problem then the chances are that you are right.

As Dustystar has said, if school is saying there is a problem, the most important thing is for them to come up with a plan to help him in the classroom. It might be helpful to get the teacher to set specific target for things she would like to see improved and then identify exactly how the school is going to encourage your DS to meet these targets. Try and pin them down to details!

Good luck.

Aspergers children like routine, are socially inapt, can't maintain eye contact or physical contact, don't understand facial expressions in others or their feelings/emotions amongst other things.

Your son sounds perfectly normal, if he had aspergers it should have been picked up long ago. I think the teacher's nit picking. Bright children do have certain types of behaviour that is similar to traits of aspergers, they can be socially out of tune because they have other things going on in their heads, it's ok for them to do their own thing and playing with different people/ falling out with friends is a very normal thing for children to be doing at his age.

You know your child better than anyone else. How does he interact with people that he has only just met? She has only just started, you have been with him all his life. Just because she's a teacher this does not mean that she's right. Use your instincts.