5 year old exposing himself at school. WWYD?

[happymom92]

I have a DD in year 1. She’s been telling me that there is a boy in the class that plays this game in the book corner(where apparently teachers can’t see him) and tells some other girls “let me show you something “ and he pulls his pants and shows his genitals.
She mentioned it before a couple of times that he done that when changing in PE but I always told her please tell your teacher/a grown up because that is not appropriate behaviour. She said she did and the boy went in time out.
I am quite friendly with the mom so I don’t know if I should say something to her even though I know she has no control of what he’s doing at school anyway. Should I speak with the teachers to be more vigilant?
This behaviour is not alright and a 5-6 year old should know better I think. My daughter is well aware private parts are private for a reason

I’m not a parent but this sounds like something I’d want to know about if I was the mum. I’d also want to know if I was their teacher - if you’re comfortable and friendly enough I might raise this with his mum and suggest you both / or just her if she prefers/ have a chat with the teacher as well.

This happened to my DC at the same age, but it was the other way round and a girl was exposing herself. 100% speak to the School straight away!! In our case the School spotted it and we were all called in (separately) for very serious talks and statements..

I think you should have told the school straightaway.it is not an uncommon thing amongst young kids but it needs nippping in the bud

Speak to the school each and every time. It's their job to keep your child safe.

We had something similar, told the school and they took it very seriously. The whole class were spoken to, the impacted children had individual conversations with their teacher and a welfare focused teacher, the head of year called the parents of all those involved (multiple children)

Your school’s response seems weak. I’d be asking about safeguarding at this point and would expect a robust answer and action.

Speak to the school, never the parent. It is happening within school and they are trained in this sort of thing (I also used to volunteer in school and had safeguarding training) as your DD has told you it is happening you need to tell the school it has happened repeatedly.

It might be absolutely nothing more than he needs to understand privacy of his body it might be something more sinister. School are best placed to deal with it, they talk to other agencies.

Do not talk to the other parent.

Talk to the teacher. You have done the right thing by telling your dd to tell a grown up.

Talk to the school safeguarding lead.
It could be a little boy just being a bit silly - or it could be a little boy who is being abused and people have done this to him so he is copying.
Do not talk to the parent - let the professionals do that.

This. Sound well thought out advice.

Thank you all for your answers! I was trying to see on their website who is the safeguarding lead, but it’s not mentioned. Just teachers and the headteacher. Should they usually have this clearly specified on their website? I guess it’s usually one of the teachers/headteacher?

@happymom92 the best thing to do is go to the office and say you need to speak to the Safeguarding lead. If there's lots of people around and you don't want them to hear (the last thing you want is playground gossip) maybe write it on a piece of paper and hand it to the member of staff on the desk (not the details - just the "I need to speak to the Safeguarding.....") so it can be handled discreetly.
Hopefully it's just a little boy being silly and nothing else. They should make the book corner so it can't be hidden from anyone's sight though.

Have you looked at the safeguarding policy or statement? The designated safeguarding lead at the school must be named. Usually the head. I would make an appointment to see them. The NSPCC has guidance on safeguarding and changing for PE. I would read that and make it clear the school needs to take action.

I'd go to the head teacher, this could be a sign to child is being abused, as his behaviour is not like that of a child. X

If you don't get anywhere with the school, ring social services, this child needs someone's help not time out.

@Copperoliverbear Yes. This would be a concern and the safeguarding lead should be informed.

@TizerorFizz 100% if they didn't do anything I would report the school to ofsted. This is unacceptable.

If it was me . I would not talk to the mum. As it could cause bad feelings. I would talk to the school in confidence. That way they will look into it and there's no bad feelings between adults

Agreed. Do not involve the parent. This is a matter for the school and they must consider what to do based on their safeguarding policy.

Update: I spoken with the headteacher. Apparently they are aware as few other parents came to him with this issue. They are working with the family as well to tackle this behaviour. He said he is gonna give me a ring in a week or two. I did ask what was to happen if the behaviour didn’t change and he told me about 1:1 sessions and possible exclusion. Anyone being a safeguarding lead can give more details about the process? Does it work? Or how long it takes to work?(I know it’s very subjective).
I will keep checking with my daughter if this is still happening

@happymom92 I think you cannot seek to criminalize a very young child. This child might be a victim too. Therefore the school should do what it says in their safeguarding policy. Exclusion of a very young child is a massive step to take snd could put him into the hands of abusers for longer. So the school need to work through a strategy to help him understand his behaviour is not acceptable. He might also be SEN so doesn’t understand the outcomes or seriousness of what he is doing. Schools can get advice (eg Ed psych) on how to help but I’m surprised the head has mentioned exclusion of another child to you. Somewhat unprofessional. Have you read the safeguarding policy?