Moving classes

[jumpingjackrabbit]

DD attends a 2 form entry primary school and is in Year 1. It's a good school and overall we are happy with it.

At the end of the reception year, the school made the decision to mix the two classes. It was a long process and they said they needed to get the balance right. DD found herself separated from her best friend who was placed in the other class. DD was in a bit of a three way dynamic and both DD and another girl wanted to be best friends with DD's best friend, which created a bit of a dynamic hence the 3 of them being separated.

The 2 girls still meet up for playdates, but DD has never been particularly friendly with the other girl who made up the group of 3. At the start of year 1, DD started to come out of school upset. She told me that the other girl who is still in the same class as her, has been hitting her and also telling her that she is not allowed to talk to other girls in the class and has to play with her. Each time DD has tried to walk away, she has been hit, pulled, pushed and dragged. In addition to this, she has also been verbally sworn at and had the finger signs given to her by this other girl.

I thought initially that it may have been a one off, but second term into Year 1 and it continues and the hitting is on an almost daily basis. Last week my DD was hit in the face because she tried to play with other children.

At a playdate, I had a chat with DD's best friends mum and told her what had been happening. At first she didn't say anything, but then told me that her DD had experienced exactly the same last year and as a result they had requested that their DD needed to be separated and put in the other class to this girl. At the start of year 1, their DD sustained a head injury and the response they've had from their teachers couldn't have been more different. The girls are being kept apart during playtime as well to safeguard their DD from any more targeted bullying.

DD has developed school avoidance. Is not wanting to go into school in the morning and has actually told me she is scared of this other girl. She was off sick the week before last week and said she was glad she was sick as it meant she couldn't be hurt by this other girl.

I have raised this several times with the school who are not doing anything about it. The class teacher doesn't seem interested in sorting it out and it feels like the school are just letting this girl behave like this. I have asked for DD to be placed in other groups, moved on the carpet etc, but the teacher said she can't do this! I feel that the school are not safeguarding my DD from this. Last weekend at a party, this girl pushed DD from a high climbing frame. I worry that she is going to really hurt DD.

I have now escalated this and have asked for DD to be moved into the other class. I know it will vary school to school, but has anybody else been successful in requesting this? If they say no, where do I go from here as I am not confident the teacher is safeguarding my daughter.

This sounds a worrying situation. However I would focus on getting the school to deal with/prevent the physical attacks which your child is receiving. This should not be happening and is unacceptable, regardless of which class your child is in.

I'm not happy for my DD to remain in the same class whilst the teacher is not doing anything about it. I've asked so many times for measures to be put in place and nothing has been done. I am not confident the teacher will action hence the request to move classes where the teachers seem much more proactive.

Sounds like there maybe some sen involved.

Msybe drop into conversation you are looking at moving dd schools due to the bullying.

Possibly, but that shouldn't be used as a green light to do nothing and let this continue.

How far have you escalated this? You've said you've spoken to the class teacher - have you gone above them?
Are you keeping a record of all the incidents & injuries?
Id request a formal meeting with the Head or similar SLT & ask how exactly are they safeguarding your child from injury in class, state your child is now at risk from school avoidance & you are considering moving schools if necessary.
They obviously know there is an issue with this child.
Could you speak to the mum of your DDs best friend & ask what they said/did to get the schools attention?

We have just escalated to the SLT and have posed all of the above.

When I spoke to the mum, she said that she had repeatedly raised throughout reception. Last year we had an excellent reception teacher who was really on it and she had put in place a number of measures to safeguard the other girl from this behaviour. When the mum knew the classes were to be mixed, she followed up that given the number of incidents she wanted her DD to be in the other class. When her DD sustained the head injury at the start of Y1, she requested a face to face meeting with her DD's class teacher who really took it on board, spoke to the other teacher and said the girls needed to be separated. Feels a bit luck luck of the draw this year with the teachers as ours is retiring at Christmas and just doesn't seem to care.

However, even with separation the other girl has experienced being hurt, so I do want my daughter completely taken out of this class. It is thwarting her ability to make other friends.

@jumpingjackrabbit To clarify, have you kept a list of the incidents and dates? Always, always follow up a verbal exchange with an email to confirm what you said and what was said back to you, in fact every time you go to school make sure you always have a notebook and pen on you for this very reason. Keep a diary of all incidents and exactly what happened according to your child. That way there is a paper trail of ongoing issues.

Look up both the school's bullying and safeguarding policies, they will be on their website. Get information from that and quote them on how they are meant to keep your child safe whilst in school and they are failing in their duty of care.

This way you have evidence if you need to go higher through the school and I would be asking that question when you have a meeting with SLT, ie if this continues who do I need to speak to next?

Sadly with funding being the way it is schools do not have any spare money but if the child is having behavioural issues then she needs a 1 to 1 TA/LSA with her especially when another child is being injured.

Your poor DD also needs to tell the teacher every time it happens in the classroom too. You are completely reasonable in your requests. Good luck.

We found on e of the worst aspects of state school is the poor breaktime supervision. Even when dd really struggled in reception the teacher seemed to think we could magically control dd school behaviour from charts at home. Obviuosly she had punishments and talking to etc. But the teachers wouldnt put extra supervision or tell them to keep an eye on her.
in the op case possibly the school or parents talking to the dd may help.
and it would benefit both kids to be separated. But reinforcing that this isnt how you treat friends and will lose friends etc. u
i notice that dd say an autistic girl at secondary has someone with her constantly.
i feel primary needs more of this covering breaktimes. But also the school cant raise and speak to parents about sen issues that they dont see as they arent supervising.

ours classes got no social assistance in reception either during all the free play.
ec
if it is sen it can improve as the behaviour of the other kids improves

Yes, we have everything documented with dates etc. I think mentally, however, DD can't continue to be in the same class. She has gone from being happy go lucky to withdrawn and constantly sad. This other girl obviously has some underlying issues and even with the best measures in place, I can't see it stopping.

We've already gone through the bullying and safeguarding policy with a toothcomb and have referenced this in the email we sent on Friday.

Thanks for the pointer - we will certainly ask how we escalate this further if we get no joy from the meeting.

DD wants to play with her best friend at playtime, but she is stopped from being able to do so. Her best friend hasn't played with this other girl since the incident. When DD tries to walk away, she is physically blocked from being able to do so and then hit and dragged. When she tries to tell an adult what is happening, the other girl turns on the tears and says it was DD who has hurt her, which is not the case and DD gets very upset about this.

The mum of the girl exhibiting this behaviour, blames other children and says it is her DD who is being bullied by others as other children don't want to play with her and say horrible things. The school has already spoken to them following the incident with DD's best friend and another parent has also contacted this mum to say that she needs to sort her DD from dragging children against their will to play with her.

There are a few red flags. She got very angry at DD last week and lashed out at her when she accused her of spying on her in the toilets. She wouldn't let it go. I suspect there is more to this then just hurting others, but it has to stop and teh school need to take responsibility and safeguard.

Yes, playtimes are the most difficult to monitor as the MDSA don't always know what is going on through no fault of their own and they're also supervising a large volume of children.

If the teacher is leaving at Christmas it does sound like she's checked out which isnt on.
Do you know who the new teacher will be?
It sounds like you're doing everything you possibly can - keep the pressure up on the school & good luck with the meeting.

She currently has a job share, the teacher who is retiring for 3 days a week and an NQT for 2 days. From Jan, the NQT will be taking the class over full-time.

Something that may make a difference:

Teach your DD that as soon as this girl gets near her/touches her that she needs to shout

Ow you're hurting me

As loud as possible and repeatedly.

If she does this and can shout really loud the middays will hear her and it will get noticed.

You may need to practice with your daughter so she can shout loud enough.

Another possibility:

Teach your DD to run away as soon as this girl comes near her/touches her and she runs to stand with the midday supervisions and tells them I'm scared of her she hurts me.

Both might be good.

Both will mean the middays notice what is going on and keep an eye on your DD and the other girl.

If both classes have 30 in, then the problem is that they can't move your dd without moving another under infant class size rules, I think.
So their hands may well be tied here. I would look at other solutions around the issue.

Sorry: Edited to say that I realise that you said you're into a second term, so I assume you aren't in England (as the second term would start in January) in which case infant class size limit may be different, and you may have a better chance. In which case do try pushing for it.

If this isn't sorted, find the school's complaints policy and make it very clear you will take it all the way to Governors. I suspect the teacher and head will focus more on sorting it. Do not take it to the governors personally as if you do, they can't sit on a panel as they have prior knowledge.

We are UK based. I think DDs class has 30 as a new girl joined and the other one has 29 as two twin boys stayed back in reception.

Great point re Governors. Still waiting on a response, but today she was hit for talking to another lirrle girl this girl has earmarked for herself as a friend .

Go on to the school website, there should be a school concern and complaints policy. This will set out exactly the steps you should take and what you can expect, at what stage from the school.
Follow it until you get a resolution.

@jumpingjackrabbit Its not really safeguarding. It’s health snd safety. The school has a duty to keep your child from harm by using their behaviour policy. Personally I’d be moving schools if they continue to do nothing. They have to keep the hitting DD separate and supervised. They should follow their behaviour policy and no doubt this child needs Ed Psych intervention.

Does being hit, kicked, punched, pulled, dragged and push not constitute as child on child abuse as per safeguarding?

After a night's sleep I am inclined to think the school won't let DD move class and will likely suggest interventions. If DD does move class, as has been shown with DD's best friend, this girl will move on to hurting somebody else.

The problem is we are not happy with interventions. We just want DD completely away. So what are our realistic options - move DD to another school? If we escalate to the Governors, will they also just say interventions? What would this other girl have to do to be excluded / suspended?

@jumpingjackrabbit Not by another child. You are confusing bad behaviour with safeguarding. They are not the same thing. Many Dc behave badly but safeguarding procedures are not started. The Dc could well have SEN. It’s clearly a behaviour issue. Safeguarding is largely around sexual misdemeanours, neglect, abuse by parents etc. Read the safeguarding policy. You won’t find child bad behaviour in it because it’s a child! This is a behaviour issue. If you want to go over the head of the school, speak to safeguarding at your local authority. Details will be in your safeguarding policy.

I would be expecting the school to consider SEN provision for this child and use of the behaviour policy to improve behaviour. Plus very close supervision.

The Governors have no role in this whatsoever. None. It’s an operational decision by the head on what they do regarding this child. Governors lead strategic vision and ethos. They absolutely will not tell the head to move Dc around. The head would not be expected to listen to them on such a matter. You could use the school complaints procedure. This could end up with the governors. However what interventions and money are directed to this child are 100% down to the head. If you don’t have faith in the school, why not move?

A head can exclude or suspend a child. Maybe they will do this? It’s not unusual for a school to have difficult Dc like this and other parents to be aghast. However the decision on how to manage this child is down to the Head. It’s not a pleasant situation and the school does need to be proactive to keep all Dc safe. Are other parents protesting?

Okay, it just says in the school safeguarding policy that child on child abuse is hitting, kicking and punching other children.

No SEN as far as I know. Very able, in fact. Perhaps not being stretched appropriately by the school and acting out as she is bored?

We do have faith in the school and really like the school. We don't see why we should have to be the ones to move. Plus the school that is likely to have space isn't one we would send our DD due to a very poor reputation locally.

Two other parents have complained. DD's best friend and another parent, but it's just brushed under the carpet and continues.

The other girl is very unlikely to get a permanent exclusion, these are very rare at primary.

In order to get a suspension there is normally an act of obvious violence towards either a member of staff or multiple children which is witnessed by either one or more adults or multiple children.
Eg throwing a chair at a teacher, punching several children in the classroom.

The other child is very unlikely to get suspended for anything happening unwitnessed in the playground unless it actually seriously injures your DD.

You are unlikely to get anywhere through formal channels. If you make enough of a nuisance of yourself -constant emails, meetings etc they might move your DD.

Otherwise you can try to get her other friends involved to protect her on the playground, and other such alternative strategies, or move school.

Shouting "you're hurting me" when it isn't (yet) the case is not helpful, as she could just get a reputation for false accusations. Running off to be near the staff is a much better idea.

The problem is she can't run off as she is physically blocked from being able to go and find an adult.

I think you should ask for playground supervision. The teacher on duty or playground supervisor should keep the children in separate areas and monitor their play. In class they can easily be kept apart. You have every right to say your child is being bullied. What is difficult to do is telling the school what to do. I would expect the school to follow its behaviour policy and ensure your dd is not bullied.

Of course exclusion is rare but suspension less so.

When my children were in infant school a child could be "zoned" at play time to keep them away from a specific other child. This meant that a child was only allowed in certain areas of the playground. Does the layout of the playground allow this at your daughter's school? This would allow your daughter to stay well away from the other girl. It is also easier for teachers and midday supervisors to monitor as they just keep the girl in a particular area of the playground.