Support thread for parents of boys who are finding reception hard

[GooseyLoosey]

I am thinking about the boys (like my ds) who are labelled as naughty or something similar by the school and who just do not seem to behave in accordance with the perceived norm. I have noticed that there are a few of us on the board.

How do you get the school to accept them for who they are without demonising them? How do you make sure that they are not unduly "squashed" by school? Above all, how do you ensure that they are happy and nurtured at school?

[juuule]

bluesushicat - Just because my children weren't labelled 'naughty' (or at least it wasn't mentioned to me) doesn't mean some of them didn't find reception difficult. I was relating my experiences and trying to understand what it is that has changed that so many seem to think that boys in reception are having a hard time. Of course, if it's just a thread for current reception children then I'll leave you to it.

[fatzak]

Well Parents' Eve was a pleasant surprise I think I have blown everything massively out of proportion and turned DS into this monster of a child who won't follow instructions and who spends his day wrestling others to the ground The only areas he really needs to work on are accepting that he has to tidy up and to sit still when it's carpet time! He is in the top half of the whole class (Reception plus year one) so he's obviously listening to something!! School are going to keep a closer eye on his frienships so fingers crossed there!!!
I feel great tonight but watch this space as I am so up and down about it all that by the weekend I could be a complete state again!

[Fridayfeeling]

I have a DS who has passed through reception, which was definitely the most difficult year of school so far.......I would have palpitations every time they were coming out, as I was generally called in to talk about some 'incident'. At the time this really was quite stressful.

However looking back, I think the teacher felt is necessary to tell me about every tiny incident......it was a bit like I was supposed to take full responsibility for telling him off because they were very frightened of doing it themselves. I don't mind supporting the teacher, but to do it 6 hours after the event is difficult with a 4 year old who does not barely remember.

So, I said to the teacher, instead of talking about "kind hands" and other such vague things, please exclude him from class/activity / discipline as you see fit ( my words were bollock him) and things changed from that moment on.

He needed to have respect for his teacher and know the boundaries and they were really too soft on him. That is my experience !

[fatzak]

Fridayfeeling - oh that feeling of waiting for them to come out and hoping that they don't want to come over to talk to you!! I always get caught out - on the days I collect DS I am usually very confident and think that he went to school in a good mood then ..bang, it all falls apart! If I go prepared to hear the worse, then nothing has happened!!

[frecklyspeckly]

That last post by fatzak is exactly what happens to me every single day.I have noticed if spend all day anticipating bad reports I am pleasantly surprised but if I get to 'confident' all is well that is the day he has managed to really pee teacher off. It is his first school disco tomorrow night. I am confident though there are other boys there who will be going loopy too! He is so excited!

[fatzak]

School disco sounds fab!! DS has an Easter service in church on Thursday - awful to say this but I am glad i am having to work so that Dh will see him in full fidget mode in a public place

[GooseyLoosey]

Gosh fatzak and freckly, that is how I feel too. Lately ds has been making a real effort so I go looking forward to picking him up and will then be beckoned in, its so demoralising.

I have been thinking alot about what I can do to help ds and have decided that the main thing which sets him apart from his peers is that he does not pick up on social ques or understand social situations properly. I have noticed that when I teach him how to react in certain situations, he does it and its much easier for him.

Other children seem to have learned these things by osmosis. Does anyone else have any similar issues?

Glad the parents evening went so well Fatzak. Hope our next one does.