Changing school for Reception

[Christmasbroughtmeback]

My DD is currently at a school nursery just around the corner from us. It's a very small school (one form entry). It's rated Outstanding, over subscribed and she has some friends there from previous nursery, but I've been told by the teacher she hasn't settled in as she finds it difficult to sit on the carpet or focus on things which don't interest her.

There is a school about a 20 min walk away with a big focus on forest school and outdoor learning accessed by all years, and they seem to do a lot more activities (even from nursery) than our current school.

I don't know what to do, on one hand I think she would probably flourish at the other school as she is a child who needs to be outdoors and would find it more stimulating, but at the same time I'm worried about separating her from the friends she has made. Anyone else been in the same position?

They're moaning that she can't settle on the carpet at nursery?! 3 year olds aren't designed to sit for long periods!

I would definitely apply for the other school as first choice. It sounds like they're more EYFS friendly which will definitely suit her better from what you've said.

I really wouldn't get hung up on friendships at this age. Friendships can be so fleeting at nursery. Whilst they can be friends with others at that age, they tend to move on quickly if those friends are no longer around and often don't miss them or even remember nursery friends after a while. Out of sight and out of mind.

I would put her future education outcomes and wellbeing ahead of friendships as she'll easily make new friends at her age. Let her go somewhere which lets kids be kids.

Ofsted graded outstanding schools often aren't what they're cracked up to be and the grading can often be woefully outdated and not necessarily reflect current practice. I know of some outstanding schools who haven't been visited by Ofsted since 2012/13 time, having changed headteachers and been through Covid in that time! So much can have changed since the grading. Ofsted also aren't necessarily looking for the same things parents are. Trust your instincts if you feel that place isn't right for her, don't be swayed by reputation.

I wouldn't worry about friendships at this age either. Lots and lots of dc start Reception not knowing other dc. Most children at this age just play with / speak to people that are nearby.

Have you looked round both schools ?

From what you say, your heart is at the further one, but that is no distance to be walking, so that's what I'd put as first choice, if everything else is equal.

I would stay where you are. Having a school that is very close makes such a difference. I had dc in school that was a 20 minute walk and it felt a little too long when pushing a 2 year old and 4 year old in a double buggy to make it in time....with complaints from them while I am the one walking in the cold/rain. They got a spot from a school a 5 minute walk and it felt life changing for me. I absolutely loved doing the school run and it was short enough they could walk the entire way or bike or use their scooter w out complaints (the 20 minutes one was a bit too far for that when they first start school). If your dd is happy, I would keep her there.

I would take my dc to the park for 2 hours after school most days and of course during the weekend so they had plenty of time to be outside.

Thank you all. The school run is an issue but I also don't want to prioritize my comfort over her future (I also don't want to be burnt out and grumpy either). She's most likely to be my only so highly unlikely I'll have a baby in tow.

Thank you for the reassurance on friendship as well, this was my major worry.

I do think the nursery expectations are too high and the way it was phrased to me was not the best - I say that as someone who used to work in EYFS.

Local is good but only if the school is also good. 3yos ate supposed to be wriggly!!

We moved countries a few times when DDs were young, including between preschool and reception class with both of them. The kids forgot within a couple of weeks who had been in nursery! Its the parents who take longer.

Having a school close by is great - on days when it's pouring down and freezing I'm grateful for a 5 minutes walk. We now know a lot of families on the walk in so it's a nice community feel.

What are the rest of the years like? Reception is only one year - we found schools really promoted the EYFS provision and then breezed over the rest of school. We went with the school where the junior provision was really engaging. At the end of the day, it's a guessing game because anything could happen - head leaves, a poor Ofsted...and the school changes.

Please remember that this is only two months and a lot depends on the teacher. From my observation there are worse and better ones and nobody will tell me that all teachers are the same.