Why why why do I get so upset about parties?

[morethanmum]

I know it's silly, but I just feel so sad for them when they don't get invited by people they play with. It's partly the whole thing where the birthday child tells everyone they are invited, then hands out the invites and obv not everyone is. Just recently ds wasn't invited despite being told he was, and I know it's all a bit cliquey in reception, and the mums invite their friends' kids as much as their kids' friends, but still. Also ds has speech problems and I keep thinking maybe this won't help him socially. DS (9) got left out of her best friend's party which has caused falling outs at school etc - isn't there a better way? I just wish the teachers stuck the invites in bags at the end of the day because 5 is too young to understand some stuff. Right, now I'm off for a coffee and a little post baby cry at my socially deprived dc.

Our school is another one that refuses to give out invites unless they are for the whole claas,although I think they will stretch a point if it is all the boys or all the girls.

Once ds starts school I will just hire a hall and invite the whole class as I hate the idea of children being left out. As he is an August birthday there is a pretty good chance that only 1/3 will be able to make it. I hope!

DS is in Year 6 now we have always invited all the boys in his class (only 8 of them) and for the last 6 years there have been 2 boys who always invite everyone but him. DS, who has SEN, accepts it explaining to me that he wasn't invited as he was 'too much trouble' I managed to not let him see me cry!

That is terrible Unfitmother. Shame on their parents. I would invite him.

Message withdrawn

shame on some of these mothers . Ds was apparently only child in his class not invited to a party yesterday. He doesnt seem bothered but when I found out I cried {blush} in the playground. It was the fact that evetyone else was invited that got me. I did, however, refrain from punching a other who kindly explained to me that some children weere more popular than others!!??!!!

that should read "punching the mother"

Doesn't it make you want to flay them alive?

I am having a joint party for my sons with another mother whose daughter has a similar birth date. we are inviting the whole class, including "The naughty one" and including the little boy who has Down's Syndrome, and the little girl who is Autistic.

and that's not because I am Ubermum, I'm not, but my son also has some SEN, and it breaks my heart into millions and millions of tiny pieces when he doesn't get invited to things.

In a way it's one of the worst things about having a child with social problems - it's really hard to explain to them what is going on - if they were the sort of empathetic children who automatically understood things like that, they probably wouldn't have been left out in the first place

But, like it or not, it is a fact of life, and that is that!

Unfit mother, I am and and on your and your ds's behalf

Just try to trust in Karma - one day those mothers will get their come-uppance

But, it can be a tangible way for children to see their actions have consequences. A friend of DDs was quite mean to another little girl in DDs class. Come invite time she was the only child not invited, I have to say, if the tables had been turned I would have been tempted to do the same thing, Little girl A was really quite spiteful to little girl B and tbh in those circumstances why should she invite her to her party? Little girl A was told (probably not that tactfully) by the rest of the class "its because you told Girl B she had freaky hair and her shoes were yucky" girl A cried, had tantrum and was sad BUT she hasn't been as spiteful since...

they are in pre prep 2 btw so 6-7