My head is fried, please help MNs, sorry its long..

[marmon]

My ds is 4yrs8mnths and he has been at school since September. He is happy enough and enjoys it but the only thing he seems to have learnt is how to have serious attitude. He is very aggressive and at times quite violent e.g punching, kicking and spitting particuarly his sister and at times me. There are other boys in this class like this and i know he is picking it up from them because i talk to the Mums in the playground about it. I have seen his teacher and she has told me he is emotionally immature?! He is 4 ffs! but there you go. Anyway my point is my son has some money left in a trust by his father who sadly died when i was pregnant and he could inherit quite alot when he is 18 or we could use it now for a private education. I am in a dilemma i know his late father had a problem with teenagers inheriting lots of money, so he would probably say use the money for his education. I would also like to say his father died suddenly and did not leave a will so this is why his unborn son got the money. Anyway there are some lovely private schools where i live but i am scared of the unknown and worry if i am out of my depth sending my ds to a school like this. What would you guys do?

Look at other schools as well as private, maybe it is just this school that is not very helpful?
Private is not necessarily better however my friend has her "immature" son at a boys private school so they know EXACTLY how to deal with this as they do it day in and day out!

OK - an entirely understandable concern, IMO. My DS(5) is at a private school and whilst not hard up we are positive paupers compared to some of the parents there.

However, I grew up going to private schools when my parents could barely afford the fees, and did so at the cost of holidays, cars, new clothes, etc, etc. It had an impact in as much as I would never have dreamed of even asking them about "extras" like ski trips, etc, but there were plenty of others in the same position, and honestly I am not scarred for life .

Bear in mind that almost all private schools will have staff children there, whose parents will be far from rich. The challenge is to persist and find one which is genuinely friendly and unsnobbish. A good test, IME, is to ask about bursaries, second hand uniform, etc (even though you may not need them) and watch their reaction - also look at the mix of cars at picking-up time. If you don't feel comfortable (or as if you could get comfortable) then forget that one and move on..