How are your reception starters really doing?

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Labraradabrador · 02/10/2023 18:10

Mine are now y2, but both found it reception really overwhelming at this point in the year. They expressed it in different ways, but both were kind of miserable despite having thrived in nursery. The school had made a big song and dance about a gentle first term, but it was a much bigger adjustment than I had anticipated.

i wasn’t happy with the school for a whole host of reasons and ended up moving after Christmas to a school with much smaller class size. One of mine (who I suspect has Sen) really wasn’t coping, her sister (no Sen) equally struggled initially but I saw signs that she was a little happier and making friends by end of first term.

nobody advertises their bad days on social media - many children really struggle with starting formal school regardless of how they are prepared via nursery, etc.

purplesparklydinosaur · 02/10/2023 18:22

He’s ok. Apparently great at school but pretty tired and volatile at home!

We had an awful time last weekend - he had a proper wobbler on leaving the swimming pool, which he hasn’t done since he was 2!

He has also become very clingy to me at home - getting loud and being deliberately annoying if me and DH try to talk to each other!

I believe it’s all standard stuff though - plus he probably misses his cousin who we haven’t seen since he started because she goes to her Dads at the weekend and we are now busy all week!

TizerorFizz · 02/10/2023 18:23

@Windflower92 Im afraid people just lie. They don’t really know everything Dc are doing. It’s all gloss and hyperbole. Just concentrate on your own child.

Your DD probably wants to learn. My DD1 didn’t want noise and play. That was nursery, as she saw it, and she wanted to learn in YR. However so many Dc aren’t ready to read and write etc and teachers need to assess early so those who are ready can get on with it. Fortunately our school did. Playing doesn’t suit every child at school and as long as they play at lunch, that’s fine. Don’t believe all you read.

TizerorFizz · 02/10/2023 18:27

My DDs needed food when they came out of school. Much better with fuel inside them. They were never tired but food helped get through the afternoon until tea/dinner. A banana, fruit, biscuits with cheese, dips and snacks worked wonders!

Frodedendron · 02/10/2023 18:29

There's a boy in her class who she talks about daily, who clearly has behavioural issues. Running around all the time and she came home with a bruise where he'd kicked her one day. She seems nonplussed but I'm a bit concerned!

She has to go to after school club 4 days and I was worried it would be too much but she genuinely seems ok, not noticeably more tired.

Ijustcametosayhello · 02/10/2023 18:54

Mine started off loving it and is now coming home really deflated everyday. He says he has no one to play with and a couple of the kids are mean. I think he's exhausted too but it's breaking my heart a little bit to see his spark gone

BendingSpoons · 02/10/2023 20:56

My DS is enjoying it but it's ALL about the toys. He has made 2 friends he plays with at lunchtime but doesn't know their names and only plays with them at lunchtime because there is nothing else to do I.e. no toys!

My year 3 child has just started a new school for juniors and is playing alone most lunchtimes because she needs some downtime. Her friend seems to be doing the same.

BendingSpoons · 02/10/2023 21:00

TizerorFizz · 02/10/2023 18:23

@Windflower92 Im afraid people just lie. They don’t really know everything Dc are doing. It’s all gloss and hyperbole. Just concentrate on your own child.

Your DD probably wants to learn. My DD1 didn’t want noise and play. That was nursery, as she saw it, and she wanted to learn in YR. However so many Dc aren’t ready to read and write etc and teachers need to assess early so those who are ready can get on with it. Fortunately our school did. Playing doesn’t suit every child at school and as long as they play at lunch, that’s fine. Don’t believe all you read.

My DD was like this. Reception was too chaotic with constant negotiation and low level disruptive behaviour whilst some children adjusted to school. She much preferred year 1. My DS on the other hand likes the freedom of Reception and will probably struggle more with the transition to year 1.

mynameiscalypso · 02/10/2023 21:01

Mine says he's having fun and loves some of the learning he's doing (phonics/maths/languages/music). He seems quite subdued at the end of the day though and it takes him a while to decompress. The social side was the aspect that I was most worried about as he's a bright but very socially immature August baby. He talks about some of the people in his class but I'm not sure he really has 'friends' in the way that other children in the class seem to already. We have a parents evening in a few weeks and that's going to be my main question. At nursery, we had some instances when the other boys in his class were mean to him so I'm hoping that's not the case now but one or two things he's said have made me concerned that it is.

BumbleNova · 02/10/2023 21:04

Mine is exhausted! So emotional. So many meltdowns at home. Usually runs in but not today 😔. I think I had underestimated the step up. I'm worried but I think we just keep going.

joelmillersbackpack · 02/10/2023 21:05

Not enjoying it at all. Just about going in now without tears but asking almost every day whether it’s the weekend or school holidays soon. Went to nursery with most of the same children in the next classroom along so it’s not that it’s new. Some new children to the cohort might be disruptive from what I’ve seen. Teacher seems nice but clearly has something going on meaning she’s absent a fair bit. He is enjoying learning his letters and sounds though.

FSGirl · 02/10/2023 21:12

DD is incredibly tired, lots of extreme meltdowns about little things since she started reception a few weeks back. Also think she is projecting the adjustment of school by saying she’s scared of the dark and has weirdly been talking about people dying a lot (no one specific, just about the concept of other people dying)
As a few PP have mentioned I’ve been worried about her making friends; she has said a few times nobody wants to play with her at break so she eats her snack by herself. I am taking it with a pinch of salt but it’s a bit heartbreaking, she is a very social child and has moved up from nursery with a lot of the same children - but I get the sense it’s a bit of cliquey village which for various reasons we don’t have many links within.
I’ve suggested she could ask the children questions about what they like, if they have pets etc. so I hope that helps!
We don’t have any parents WhatsApp’s or facebooks (or not any I’ve been invited to join anyway 😂) so it’s a bit tricky to work out what actually happens after you wave them off in the morning…

SnapdragonToadflax · 02/10/2023 21:15

Definitely struggling a bit. He was very upset last week and said no-one wanted to play with him, which was upsetting. He loved nursery and had been so settled there, I think he's really missing his 'friends'. Now there's novelty of school has worn off he's basically in a room with 30 strangers every day. He says they're too loud and there's no quiet area like in nursery.

He's also said phonics is boring, which is a concern. He already knows all his letters and can read a bit so I guess the basic work they're doing to assess the children is a bit dull, but I don't want him getting turned off so early on. No mention of a parents evening yet either. Hopefully things will improve. He doesn't seem especially tired but his behaviour has been worse and he's been quite clingy.

SamPoodle123 · 02/10/2023 21:28

Windflower92 · 02/10/2023 15:01

So DD1 has just started reception at a lovely school. We've got a fb group with most of the parents and everyone is lovely. At pre school DD was very sociable and seemed to have lots of friends. However each day she's been in (3 full days a week) she's said she doesn't want to play with anyone and they're too loud. She said she's told people she doesn't want to play with them and wants to play on her own. I've spoken to one of the mums who says that her daughter plays with my daughter, so I don't know what really goes on obviously! Is this normal? Everyone on the fb group says how amazing everything is and how their kid has so many friends and is loving it, so I feel like mine is the only one not really liking it much! Can anyone share how their child is getting on without sugar coating it and just saying it's amazing? No one does that in real life!

My eldest used to say she played alone and made it sound like she had no friends. But every time I took her in and the other dc saw her they would be super happy, running towards her calling her name. The teachers also said she always had someone to play with if she wanted to. Sometimes she would decide she wanted to play alone, but a lot of the time she played with others. Now my youngest says a lot of the time she plays on her own or she plays by herself. But when we bump into other dc from her class in the park, the come to her with big smiles and they play so nicely. It is obviously they like playing together and must be friends in the class, so not sure why dc sometimes say they play by themselves or play with no one, when it is not always the case. Sometimes my dd will respond to my question of who did you play with today? "I don't know" so I think perhaps it is also she does not know the names yet.

FSGirl · 02/10/2023 22:37

@SamPoodle123 good point about not knowing the names of the children. We have yet to find out anything DD has had for lunch, she keeps saying she can’t remember but I wonder if it’s because she isn’t sure what the food actually is…yum!

addictedtotheflats · 02/10/2023 22:53

Mine loves it, so proud of how he has adapted. He didn't know anyone and he has made a lovely group of friends both boys and girls. Its a large 2 form entry reception with 60 kids which is probably chaos🙈 but hes very settled already

TizerorFizz · 03/10/2023 09:30

It really concerns me when people talk about chaos. I was a governor of a school in a deprived area. YR when I visited was never chaotic. We had a few Dc who really could not settle and they actually needed play therapy. Most could settle and do the learning tasks. It was a friendly and happy classroom. My own DDs went to a bigger school and I don’t recognise chaos there either. It was mostly purposeful and busy. My DDs were summer born and one is mid August.

As for friends: they didn’t make them immediately. We just saw a few from nursery. It takes quite a while if other dc know each other. The tables they sit at and who they sit with leads to friendships but parental influence is huge. Often it’s parents who form the friendships first and Dc follow the lead.

Namechange13101 · 03/10/2023 09:36

My DD seems to be thriving and loving the slightly more structured environment than nursery. Loves talking about what she's learnt or when they've been in the 'big' assembly and talks about some older children who rotate on playing in the reception playground. We have had a few meltdowns after school which I've put down to tiredness, but have I found that having and activity out ready for her to do when she comes in seems to help as she doesn't have to choose anything as its already there

Bellaphant · 04/10/2023 12:56

Ds is a July baby, he's really bright but I worry about his focus in school: a few times he's told me he's not wanted to do some of the learning,in a way that makes me feel he regrets it later (does that make sense?), such as doing some 121 phonics work, or drawing shapes.

He is going in happy, and has made massive progress with phonics and even handwriting, but I do worry that he's inattentive and noisy: he's really bright but he's young and I worry he'll be labelled as naughty.

He's got his first party invite for the half term week, and he's starting to chat to people on the walk to school.

He had a few accidents the first couple of weeks, which he's never had, Ans the emotional meltdowns are huge: as someone else said, he needs a snack in my pocket.

AndIKnewYouMeantIt · 04/10/2023 12:58

He likes it. Plenty of nursery friends in his class, already picking up the phonics and maths but... he's sleeping as badly as when he was about 2. Massive separation anxiety and completely lost the ability to settle himself. He's slept on a mattress on our floor from midnight to morning for nearly a week and we are done in.

Jxtina86 · 04/10/2023 13:09

DD seems to enjoy it but she's shattered. She does breakfast and after school club majority of the week too so it's a long day. But she talks about phonics, says she eats lunch and has started to mention a few names (outside of the girls she started with from nursery).

At home is another question - we don't go a weekend without a huge meltdown that can last anywhere between 20mins to an hour. She's definitely holding it all in during school and then it's just a huge release at the weekend.

Abouttimemum · 04/10/2023 13:18

DS seems happy but is hungry and tired at the end of the day. I can see him really wanting to learn which I great.

He’s moved to school together with most of his nursery group which has been helpful for us as DS is being assessed for his social integration. He plays by himself mainly but he’s happy so I think this is something I’ll worry about more as he gets older and little friendship groups form etc.

He’s also saying he’s scared of the dark and is worried about death @FSGirl - new for us too!

randomsabreuse · 04/10/2023 13:21

My P1 is tired but enjoying things. Most of what I know is detective work - I can ask about sand pit/water tray because of evidence in shoes/on sleeves, ditto painting, drawing and lunch.

All that was volunteered by older DC in reception was "played with cars" until I managed a leading question based on what was on her jumper/pinafore/polo shirt...

Definitely takes a while to get names straight, although our school is small so my older one can fill in a lot of the blanks for me.

FSGirl · 04/10/2023 15:17

@Jxtina86 we are noticing huge weekend meltdowns too - definitely a big emotional rollercoaster for them and the weekend comes and they let rip.

Original poster

Windflower92 · 06/10/2023 22:12

Thanks for the replies. I feel like DD likes it but she just tells me she doesn't! Although I have started talking to one of the mums and she's been playing with her DD so she seems a bit more comfortable with going in since then. And she's discovered that they have chickens! So she's teaching me everything she's learning, which I think she likes better than being asked questions. Only a couple of weeks until half term now!

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