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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

DD morning routine struggles

24 replies

morningsong · 02/10/2023 09:57

Hi, my DD really struggles to wake up on time. The morning routine is very simple - breakfast, brush, uniform, shoes, bag, out - but I start waking her at 7am and she only starts eating at 7:30am typically which means there are usually tears, a bunch of shouting and we are always late.
I do not know what to do - should I start waking her up at 6:45. I feel sorry for her as she is too tired in the mornings and not motivated and excited it seems to embrace the day.
Help !

OP posts:

UndercoverCop · 02/10/2023 09:59

It sounds like she's not getting enough sleep what time did she go to bed?
I had to wake DS this morning, that's very rare, but he's just started reception and he's shattered. He went to bed at 7 last night and I had to wake him at 7:30 this morning.
Also is there a breakfast she really enjoys? DS loves overnight oats but I don't make them all of the time, if I tell him in the morning I made them the night before he practically launches himself down the stairs.

Ohdearwhatnow4 · 02/10/2023 10:02

How old is she, maybe your giving her too long to wake up so she's falling back to sleep. If young enough try waking and getting her up rather than letting her fall back to sleep

user1492757084 · 02/10/2023 10:07

Go to bed earlier.
Have as much packed and ready as you can the night before.
Insist on being dressed for breakfast which is at 7:30 am.. You can always take toast, fruit and yoghurt in the car on the odd occasions that she has run out of time.

Original poster

morningsong · 02/10/2023 10:11

@Ohdearwhatnow4 Hi, sorry forgot to say her age. She is 7 and just started Yr 3. She goes to bed by 8:30pm-9:30pm usually. She keeps fighting sleep tbh.

@UndercoverCop she usually has normal cereal for bfast. If it was chocolate covered stuff or cake, I know she would just wake up by herself :)

I feel awful as I gave her a huge lecture about taking responsibility but it was so shout-y and she was crying and saying sorry for not listening. So now am having a shitty monday and I really hope she is at least enjoying her school day. argh

OP posts:

Original poster

morningsong · 02/10/2023 10:13

user1492757084 · 02/10/2023 10:07

Thanks yes that makes sense. We have to take the train so cannot do much on the move plus DD is fussy eater.

OP posts:

PuttingDownRoots · 02/10/2023 10:18

9.30 is later than my 12yo most nights!

What time do you have to leave?

Original poster

morningsong · 02/10/2023 10:38

PuttingDownRoots · 02/10/2023 10:18

9.30 is later than my 12yo most nights!

What time do you have to leave?

yes agree the weekend excitement keeps her up I think.
we have to leave by 8 so I start waking her up at 7.

OP posts:

TeenDivided · 02/10/2023 10:45

Agree with others that bedtime seems too late. An hour from waking to being out the door should be plenty.

Youaresowelcome · 02/10/2023 10:45

OMG... I've just had an identical morning with my 7 year old boy. He decided, at 7am that he didn't want to get dressed and just refused to move. he's huge- I can't make him! it was so stressful, begging, bribing shouting. he just hid under his covers and refused to budge until the very last minute, whereby we were all stressed, in tears and bloody late. Awful start to Monday and I ended up missing a dentist appointment because of it- so also a fine!!!
I have no idea what the answer is other than earlier nights, but they get so little time to relax outside of school - it's hard to strike a balance. Following with interest as hoping someone very wise will come along soon.

Tdcp · 02/10/2023 11:10

DD struggles in a morning, she get's the full 12 hours sleep but she is not a morning person at all (I wonder who she gets that from!). I've started helping her get dressed as soon as she wakes up, then she eats her breakfast while I get ready for work, then I do her hair and she brushes her teeth / has a wash while I grab everything to go out of the door. it works well. You just need to get into a good routine. I do think you need to enforce an earlier bed time though. My 9 year old is in bed and going to sleep by 8-8:30 pm.

Original poster

morningsong · 02/10/2023 11:21

@TeenDivided @Youaresowelcome @Tdcp how do you get them to go to bed at 8-8:30? I feel after school, homework, dinner, misc instrument practice, bath, reading etc etc etc there is so little time for family time and talking about the day and just letting them be and having some fun etc. It is like a work day for them.

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TeenDivided · 02/10/2023 11:28

What time do you get home, and do you have homework and music practice daily?

We used to do reading in the morning when fresh.

Say home at 4. 30mns for snack and chill. 4.30 to 5.30 homework and music.
30mins play while you cook, eat at 6, after meal chill out until 7, bath, storytime, lights out at 8.

TeenDivided · 02/10/2023 11:34

The chatting time is on the way home, snack time, evening meal and in the bath.

Tdcp · 02/10/2023 11:41

I get home from work around 6pm, DP picks up DD from school at 3 - 4pm. When I come home I cook dinner which is usually ready for 6:30, DD does homework / instruments / chill during that time then she'll have a bath, feed and play with her pets then goes to bed by 7;45-8pm, she can read until half 8 unless she's really tired then it's straight to sleep. I know everyone has different routines etc, I used to pick up DD at 5:30pm after school which was difficult to manage but really you need to just accept that things won't be perfect. They won't always do their reading or practising or even have a bath every night but as long as they're fed, clean and happy that's all that matters. They're only small for a bit.

Tdcp · 02/10/2023 11:46

I do give DD a lot of downtime. She has ipad time when she's having breakfast and she can chill and relax after school. We're not regimented at all with timings we just do what we can.

Original poster

morningsong · 02/10/2023 14:40

Thanks all for your real life examples and suggestions.

OP posts:

mintbiscuit · 02/10/2023 14:44

You’re doing a lot with her in evening! Is she over tired hence fighting sleep?

welshweasel · 02/10/2023 14:49

My eldest is in year 3. We get home around 5.30, he has sandwich tea, then plays until around 6.30, quick bath/shower and into pyjamas. Back downstairs for homework/piano practice then can watch tv until 8. Up to read in bed at 8 and lights out at 8.30. 2 nights a week he has activities (piano/rugby) so not home until 7.30, so quick shower and straight to bed.

In the morning he's up at 7, has to dress before going downstairs, breakfast, shoes on and teeth. He can then watch tv until we have to leave at 7.45. The key for us is having everything packed/ready the night before abs ensuring everyone is dressed before we head downstairs. Weekdays are busy so on Saturdays we do very little!

FunkeyChicken · 03/10/2023 08:43

I have a DD in Y3. We get home between 4 and 5, quick snack (if not done on way home) and then straight into homework/instrument/bathing. Dinner is by 7, earlier if I am organised. Some nights she doesn’t have a ton of free time, but usually she gets about 30-60 min, though probably not at in one go. We do most of our chatting on the way home and while eating. She’s in bed between 8 and 8:30. She’s allowed to read a bit, but usually tuckers out after just a few pages.

She has an alarm that goes off at 7 and she is usually up in her own after that, though sometimes she needs me to rouse her around 7:15. We get out the door by 8:15.

When she’s overtired we definitely get tears in the evening.

Hopefully if you can tweak your schedule a little mornings will be easier!

Potterinthegarden · 07/10/2023 16:41

It took me ages to work this out, but doing the hair whilst they have breakfast saves a lot of time!

TeenDivided · 07/10/2023 16:42

How's it going @morningsong ?

Original poster

morningsong · 07/10/2023 16:51

@TeenDivided hello and thank you for checking on us :) we have been getting DD to sleep earlier (as much as possible) and that has helped a lot. there are still some reluctant noises because sometimes the wake up has to be 6am (school commitments etc etc) but that has been the key - sleeping earlier!!!!!
thanks all for your advice and remarks!!

OP posts:

TeenDivided · 07/10/2023 16:52

Glad things are improving!

FusionChefGeoff · 07/10/2023 18:12

DD8 also finds it quite hard to get to sleep so we've tweaked our evenings a bit recently:

We do playing 3.30-4.30, homework 4.30-5
iPad time 5-5.30
Laying table / helping with dinner
6pm dinner, clear up
6.30 TV
7.00 TV off / chat / play or up to bed
7.30 we read together
7.45 she reads alone
8.00 lights out

That gives an hour wind down from 7pm and it's made a big difference to how quickly she then settles after lights out.

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