Private primary worth it?

[Happytimes83]

We live in a very affluent but rural area, our local catchment is a tiny COFE school of about 100 kids with each year combined with two year groups, I haven’t heard anything bad about it but as you’d expect the resources of a small school are very limited. We stupidly visited a really nice selective private school in the very affluent city we live on the outskirts to (literally a few miles from nearly all the private schools along a safe bike path). I was blown away by it, it wasn’t just the spaces it was the breadth of the curriculum, the neat workbooks, the technology & things they had access to and the school had a good happy feeling of both sporty & academic with well behaved kids. Fees are therefore starting at 16k up to about 20k a year as you move through the ages at pretty much all the private ones. We are not wealthy but comfortable and only have 1 child so we could do this and still have some leftover money as long as we reign in our current very high annual holiday budget. And we have about 6 years worth of fees saved but still have a reasonable mortgage to pay down which we had been saving towards overpaying the mortgage when our fix ends in 2026 (which would then go on fees instead). Obviously this all assumes we maintain work to the same degree for the much longer term, I wouldn’t say we are in your usual guaranteed salary professions. Would you do this and just play your circumstances by ear if in the medium term things change or look for other ways to enhance your childs experience at the basic small school?

Are we crazy to even be considering this, it is very hard when you just want the best for your child. I had an awful state school time when young which probably neither option will be like.

The main reason for starting from Reception at an independent school would be that they would not need to take an entrance test to progress through the school. If they start at other traditional private school points - Prep Yr3 onwards, Yr7 or 9 there’s likely to be an entrance test.

My DC went to the local village school. It was great for DC1 and DC2, but DC3 had a different experience and wasn't happy so we took him out in year 3 and sent him to a private school which worked out really well for him. Now they're all at state secondary and doing well.

So in my experience it depends on how the child is getting on. Private primary would have been a waste of money for DC1 and DC2, but was worth it for DC3.

The headteacher of the village school is a believer of Montessori (not sure if this is good or bad), but it sounds like in the early years it is not significantly structured. They do collective worship twice a day which is downtime & reflection along with morning break & lunch break around lessons (the young ones enter dining hall first) all years are together as I often see the older ones babying there younger siblings when I go there at lunch times. But I do agree PE is only twice a week in the afternoons, the last two afternoons of the week, I presume when the children are most exhausted. They have parents assembly every week as well as 10 minute parent class time separately in the week & an open morning once a month. Definitely a very open school from what I have seen vs all the others private or state. But they have been used to working with lower class sizes & it only takes two years of 16 kids applying & suddenly things can start to shift..

PE twice a week would be same in most pre prep schools - years reception to 2. However, some private schools do 3 afternoons per week unfortunately

As others have said, it is very much dependent on the individual school and child.

My point of view mirrors @Labraradabrador and I believe the investment is more valuable for a solid foundation vs secondary where a motivated child with this secure foundation will find it easier to progress.

In our case, private for primary is absolutely worth it. DC1 had long outgrown nursery in the final year and would have been really bored doing another year of EYFS learning through play. I feel they would have lost the passion for learning more with the restrictions on the primary curriculum (which is no reflection on the school or teacher but the government and Ofsted). They were really keen to do more work, read more and have really benefitted from the small class size, specialist teaching and broad curriculum. I am often taken aback by the amount they are able to cover in the school day - state plus tutoring just would not compare. I also love the regular opportunities they have to gain confidence, speak in front of others, showcase and celebrate their achievements. This is all much easier because of the small class size.

Saying that, I know there are other excellent state primaries where teachers have capacity to stretch the most able, mix year groups for certain teaching and I can see why someone who has access to one of those may decide private is not worth it.

@PerfectMatch why did your dc3 have a bad time? I am very conscious I have child who is higher on the anxious spectrum who has been through periods of asking to not go to pre school or nursery from as young as 2 and as a baby he never settled in his first place so we eventually moved him. His favourite pre school (the one next to our village school) currently has a 2-1 adult ratio so of course he loves that! I wasn’t exaggerating when I said his preschool was really quiet this year..

I haven't read thread, but read the line - I had an awful state school time. My immediate thought was - I had an awful private school time.

From my experience private school isn't as perfect as the marketing people would have you believe.

@Happytimes83 I think he was unlucky with his class - there were a few unkind disruptive kids which wasn't what my elder two experienced at all.

Hi OP, No one can really say if it's worth it or not, it's so dependent on the school, the child, your financial situation and your priorities.

I have two kids in private school. Many a time I have wondered if we made the right decision as obviously we would have so much more money if they went to the village school, and we will never know how they would have done there. I can say though that they absolutely love their school, are very well behaved (all they all seem to be!) and have a genuine enthusiasm for learning.

It's worth noting that you probably won't feel like you can go back to state after they have started at private so it is quite a big commitment. Also consider how much it will affect your lifestyle, although it does impact our lifestyle we still go on holiday, have nice house etc. but i would probably feel a bit resentful if I couldn't have those things.

I've visited a few private schools that have been a bit meh that I wouldn't have wanted my kids to go to, so I can totally see that it might not work out. Also they can have a very different feel so it's important to get the right match for the kid. Overall I'd say it totally CAN be worth it, but not necessarily in each case.

Also my DD is quite anxious, she cried pretty much every time i dropped her at nursey for 4 years! But she loved school pretty much from day one. She likes it more than DS who is more confident.

My DD has been in a private prep school since reception and she is very happy there. Our local state schools are outstanding but we are in central London so there is a lot of deprivation despite being in an affluent area. The prep offers small class sizes, better focus on the individual, more extracurriculars, a broader curriculum with specialist teachers and in-house preparation for 11+ exams. Yes we could source some of these outside of school but it would be quite exhausting for dc (and me!) to fit it all in as well as a full day at school. And we have a younger dc not at school yet so juggling lots of extracurriculars for 2 dc would be tricky. It's also just a nice environment with well-kept facilities, engaging staff, and pupils and parents who are generally comfortable and well-behaved.
We moved house when we decided to accept the offer of a school place, so DD has an easy 5 min walk to school and lots of local friends.

For us it's a big financial commitment, especially with 2 dc, and we are planning to send them both to a private secondary until 18. We are fortunate that we can afford to do that out of existing investments and we can still pay for other activities, holidays and other things to have a nice quality of life.

There isn’t a right answer. My kids are in private school and here are the circumstances where it makes most sense to me:

1. it’s affordable with a still comfortable lifestyle that allows you to enrich their lives outside of school still with experiences- theatre trips, museum exhibits etc.
2. both parents are working and so it would be very difficult to replicate the cocurricular offering regarding sport, music, art etc provided at school via after school clubs etc
3. academically gifted children can thrive in the right academically selective prep as the pace of learning is appropriate (less repetition needed etc) and the appropriate levels of challenge can be provided. State schools can be great at stretching kids up to the top 10 percent of the ability range but after that the resources typically aren’t there. All private schools aren’t good at this either and so if this is your need, it’s worth investigating
4. child has SEN which isn’t well supported in state school option. Some state schools are fab at SEN and some provide schools are rubbish at it but I have friends who’ve moved only one of their kids to private and kept the other in state as the child with SEN needed a more supportive environment

If you’ve got an academically average child, great state schools and time and flexibility to supplement the co-curricular offering then it may not be the right choice. Also, if you are sacrificing too much it’s also unlikely to be worth it so it’s really a personal call based on your local schools, your family and your child’s needs

@MusicMum80s were you aware of these needs before they even turned 4 & you were applying for schools? Obviously him being really young makes it a tough call, though I don’t believe he’s one of those gifted children but he does sit still listening for long periods & doing whatever adults tell him, hard to know if this will translate in a classroom at actual school to something that is academic or not.

In my case, I knew we both had full time jobs that would make after school activities difficult to organise from the age of 4. I also had a strong view my DD was academically very advanced which has turned out to be true. By 7 though or so this should be much clearer for most parents both for SEN and academic giftedness

I'm not sure if private school is only worth while for 'academically gifted'. Obviously you don't want your kids in a hothouse where they can't keep up but having more focused attention from small class sizes, better attitude to learning and well behaved kids will benefit all children, not just extreme ends of the scale.

@poorlyarm I didn’t say it was only worthwhile under those circumstances. I think it’s most worthwhile under those circumstances if you are uncertain because of finances and have very good state options.

Money no object, most kids would benefit from private school. The research data clearly shows that.

Something being better does mean it’s worth doing if you can’t afford it easily though. A Bentley is a better car than a Ford. That doesn’t mean you should buy it! State school, particularly the best ones are more than good enough option in most cases.

*doesn’t

Yeah that's probably fair.

You'd need to budget for private secondary

My DC did private primary and now in secondary for many reasons but I think private primary is really not needed. Many of their friends from are from both state and private and I can't see a huge difference between kids from both backgrounds. I do think state school with dedicated extra curricular outside school would save you money. On the other hand secondary private makes more sense if you can afford. There are good state secondary schools too but again it's not everywhere unfortunately and we couldn't move due to work so choose go private.

nicely said

We're in a similar position OP - considering both private and state for next September; although conversations with others while on holiday has made us rethink - at least the "state till 8" argument, and more than likely private secondary.

Pros for private though include the wraparound care/longer days, which, for both of us working full time (and I have to regularly commute into London) would be a massive advantage - especially as already, most childminders near us are full and will have no space next year either. It's so easy to be swayed by the facilities at private schools though, so worth reaching out to parents already at the private schools to get more of an insight.

Worth it for us for a private primary with small class sizes (less than 15, with one teacher & one TA per class).

Wouldn’t pay for a private primary with large class sizes though

DD settled immediately & loves school. We’ve had kids from the local state transfer across - they seem to be the quieter kids who struggled in the large state classes. A more confident kid might have been fine

It is so easy to be swayed by the amazing facilities which probably was the biggest wow from visiting, but a friend who is sending there’s to private school has made me see sense that young kids (those under year 5) just don’t need that kind of facility, yes if you can be absolutely certain of your financials & have money everywhere it’s a no brainer just because you can regardless, but for those not in that category it is worth taking your time & resorting to private if you feel your child will benefit at a later stage. We are going to see how he gets on at our local school, our child is on the shy spectrum but he’s already saying that’s where he wants to go because he’s familiar with it from pre school and knows several of the older children. Even sending him in that bit later would save 100k and if that makes our future pension bigger I’m not complaining. In reality it doesn’t feel like we need all our disposable income now but the gains are likely so little in his future prospects in the initial years that unless we are seeing a problem with his learning or quality of learning at the state school we should probably sit tight with the free route for now.

I agree 100% as someone who sent my DC to private primary. In our case we were expats and move much later than the school application time and couldn't move due to rental agreements so choose the private route. In hindsight I could have kept us on a wait list but I panicked DC would miss making friends if they started a term late.