how would you feel?

[Lcw29]

My son is in yr 1. Today I was told hesbeen really hungry and they gave him some chips at lunchtime. He has a packed lunch as well.
My son said all he had left at lunch was sandwiches. Meaning he went and ate crisps, flapjack, an apple and his yogurt at break time. Its been suggested he have his packed lunch but also have the option to have a bit of hot dinner.
It was also suggested to put juice in his water bottle to encourage drinking. Now I'm up for advice but he had a juice box at lunch anyway and I know he's a good drinker.
My son always says he's hungry. He would eat until he is sick. And has done before. He also is fussy at dinnertime so don't want him not eating what I give then.
Now am I being wrong to feel they aren't keeping an eye on when he's eating? I feel they think I'm not feeding him!
He's being assessed for autism and part of thos is that he doesn't always listen to cues that he's full, hot, cold etc.. he also hates school and gets anxious . I just have a gut feeling they don't get it. How would you react? Am I being ridiculous?

You'd be surprised how much young kids that age eat at school! You'd also be surprised at how quickly they put snacks in bin. It's easier for all if you give a transparent refillable water bottle with a spout that he can open, use, close himself. Boxes of juice go in bin after a few sips and then there's nothing left.

Staff do keep an eye but your child will likely be one of 30 odd at lunch and 1 or 2 support staff supervising 100's so provide snacks easy to eat.

If kids see someone with chips or something else they like there can be a big fuss when they don't understand the chips are somebody else's lunch.

It might work better for all if you put a mini lunch bag/snack bag in school bag. Don't put it inside lunchbox. Tell him, this is snack bag. He's maybe going in to lunch box and carrying all snacks out. There is no way 1 person can stand negotiating with 30 children or they'd still be there at lunch. So, give him a snack bag and say lunch bag for lunch, snack for snack!

Yeah that does make sense. I honestly don't know whete he puts it all! He's so lanky lol

Teacher once took me aside to ask if we were doing ok at home, as DS had had so many extra helpings at school dinners.

Great that she was looking out for struggling families….

…but I had to explain he’d had 3 Weetabix with about a pint of milk, toast, an egg and an apple for breakfast, and was clearly trying his luck.

Nobody will be judging you, honestly. The staff just need to feedback if something else unplanned was eaten. It gets very beaurocratic. 80% of the class will always be hungry too!

They eat a surprising amount at school I've found, I think they must be burning a lot of energy.

At DDs school they have free breakfast club and free morning and afternoon tuck, I pay for school dinners. She comes home and tells me she's had:

• toast at breakfast club (this is after I've fed her porridge, fruit and often some toast at home
• fruit pot at morning break, bagel with jam at afternoon break
• roast dinner with a pudding at lunch.

Ds has ASD... You know the saying about money burning a hole in your pocket? Ds is like that with food... If there is a whole load he literally eats toast (and meals) all day until it is all gone. Same with anything opened tbh. Maybe because your dc knows the lunch box is there he keeps going back. . Can teachers put it away until lunchtime?

I'd pack a separate brake snack, in a different tub, and tell him not to open lunch box until lunch (if he's likely to understand/ follow instructions).

Trusting any kid to split there food into sensible sized different sitting, is a big ask. Let alone one with ASD, who may not notice when they're full, if they zone out when eating or are focusing on the sensory fulfilment of chewing/taste not what it feels like in there tummy.

He's being assessed for autism and part of thos is that he doesn't always listen to cues that he's full, hot, cold etc.

Have you had this conversation with his teacher and asked that it is explained to the mid day supervisors and the school kitchen staff ?
The interoceptive differences in people with Autism are known about by people who have studied a lot about autism, but not necessarily by whoever it is that went and got him the extra chips.

How I would react, is by talking to either the class teacher or the SENCo and asking that this is explained to the staff that are supervising at lunchtime.

Thanks for all your feedback. Nice to know I'm not alone! I've had a meeting with the senco last week and everythingwas explained so maybe uts got to filter through. I think for now I'll pack a separate snack box and perhaps tell the teacher to keep his lunch for lunch. Then we can see how it goes.

Last week he wouldn't eat breakfast because he said he didn't want to go to school, now it's gone the other way. Haha I'm sure we'll get there eventually 😅

Sorry for bad spelling!my keyboard is playing up