picking partners

[sphil]

In your experience, do teachers let kids pick their own partners for things like coach trips, sport etc or do they put them in pairs? And if the former, what about children like DS1, who is often either left without a partner? He's not particularly UNpopular, I don't think - it's just that he's not quick off the mark when asked to choose, so often gets left out when all the other kids pair up quickly.

Not a lot of use sphil but Dt2 is like this too. Like your Ds, DT2 is popular but not quick enough (or bothered enough) to make a choice as fast as others. A few times last year he had the teacher for a partner, he was perfectly happy but I was . I am still bothered by Dt2 always being at the edge of the crowd. He loves going to parties, friends houses etc but somehow never seems quite part of it. He is better on a 1 to 1 basis.

Hows DS2 getting on in MS?

Not a lot of use sphil but Dt2 is like this too. Like your Ds, DT2 is popular but not quick enough (or bothered enough) to make a choice as fast as others. A few times last year he had the teacher for a partner, he was perfectly happy but I was . I am still bothered by Dt2 always being at the edge of the crowd. He loves going to parties, friends houses etc but somehow never seems quite part of it. He is better on a 1 to 1 basis.

Hows DS2 getting on in MS?

Oh yes Maggiems - DS1 is EXACTLY like DT2 in this respect. This morning I've just seen him off on a school trip and there he is, at the back of the line as usual, paired up with the only boy in the class he dislikes! Now if the teacher put them together then that's OK - DS1 will cope and this particular boy is always left out . But if they were just thrown together because they were the only two not picked then I'm sad (for both of them actually).

Thanks for asking about DS2 - so far so good in that he seems happy to go in and happy when I pick him up. We haven't noticed any changes in his behaviour at home either. But he's so like DS1 in many ways - takes things in his stride! I think his conformist behaviour is surprising the school, but it may end up being a disadvantage in that they'll just let him jog along, thinking because he's sitting with the others and not making a fuss then he's learning something at the same time. Nothing could be further from the truth! Have just posted on another thread about this - how good, quiet children with learning difficulties sometimes get overlooked whereas the ones with behavioural problems get more focused 1:1 because it's needed for control purposes.

On school trips it seems to be the teacher who chooses. I think it's because when certain children get together they get into ten times as much trouble as they do when they are put with someone else.

With class stuff in general ds1's teacher still picks who works with who, for the same reasons. I think the only time they pick their own partner is if they're already working in a small group (6 or 8 children) and the teacher then asks them to pair up with someone in that group.

That seems to me the best way CT.

Turns out the teacher put them in groups and neither of DS1's best friends were in the group. The boy he dislikes asked DS to be his partner and DS agreed. 'And was it OK?' I asked. 'Yeah Mum, I like him now. We made friends ages ago'

If there was a neurotic mother emoticon I'd be using it! I'll settle for